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Author Topic: Re: Fanfiction?  (Read 2067 times)

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Offline pizzigri

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Re: Fanfiction?
« on: May 20, 2011, 10:04:34 AM »
There you go. Chapter three! I still have two chapters to post. Let me know what you think!

The great switch

Rel 1.1By Pizzigri

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Urusei Yatsura and all characters (C) Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan/Kitty.

Well, since I am who I am, I cannot write a fanfic that doesn’t have at least some serious stuff in it. Sorry…

Please do comment, and maybe I can learn to write a bit better next time. Thank you!


On Earth, we find a very worried Lum.
She’s waiting in Darling’s room, dressed with fresh clothes after her bath. It’s almost dinner time; Ataru completely disappeared, and only The Holy Dragons knows Ten whereabouts.
All sort of sex related thoughts occasionally pop up, distracting her, and she concludes that, indeed, she must have inherited it from Darling. How annoying.
The doorbell rings.
“Mother, I’ll answer that!”
She runs downstairs to open the door, hope shining in her eyes.
“Oh, it’s you, Satoshi-kun. Please, come on in.”
Megane is again surprised. Indeed, akin to Lum, Ataru too behaves in a strange way! Being polite? Further evidence that he’s absolutely right! Something ominous happened to Lum!
“Hello Ataru-kun. No, I wanted to briefly talk to you, would you be so kind to come out a second?”
Lum does not suspect Megane. She puts on her sneakers.
As soon as she walks out of the door, the rest of the Stormtroopers jump and pin her down, while Chibi shoves a bag over her head!
Lum shrieks and tries to escape, but Kakugari has a good hold of her, violently twisting her arm.
“Gentlemen, let’s take this scumbag to our hideout!”
They throw a completely tied up Lum in the back of a Type 82 Kubelwagen, obviously loaned by Mendo.
Fear, and chaotic thoughts whirl in Lum’s mind as the Stormtroopers take her to Tomobiki High School’s clock tower.
They throw her on the dusty floor of the small room and remove the cloth bag off her head.
“Megane! What the hell are you doing! Let me go immediately, I’m telling you!”
“Moroboshi. Confess! You did something ominous to Lum-sama. You are guilty!”
“How did…”
Lum’s words die in her throat. She immediately realize that Megane hasn’t the slightest idea of the switch, and that most probably just noticed the obviously odd behavior of both of them and imagined who knows what. But she just slipped!
“Ah-HA! So you DO confess. What did you do!”
“Megane, this is only a misunderstanding. I did nothing to Lum. I assure you! Please, let me go now, otherwise…”
“Yes? Otherwise, what? Ataru! I know you performed something utterly revolting against Lum. I have personally experienced her anger, her utter loathing and scorn! At this point, the only thing I imagine you could have done… is rape her!”
Lum shakes her head.
Yeah… I wish Darling did!
“You really don’t think I would rape Lum, of all girls? I mean, Lum! I can have her anytime I want, Megane! She’s always all over me! Dominating me, suffocating me! Rape Lum, ME? Come on!”
Lum is surprised by her own words. She started trying to imitate Darling… but the last phrase, that came out by itself!
Megane thinks it over for a few moments. His gaze falls on Ataru’s hand for the first time.
He finally notices the ring.
Without warning, he kicks her in the face.
Lum falls back, shocked at what Megane just did. Her head bounces off the floor, hard. Her eyes stare at the distant ceiling for a second, her mind trying to rationalize what is happening around her; suddenly, the rest of the kids stomp and hit her with punches and kicks.
Blows to the ribs. Her legs. The stomach. Pain! Fear! The beating goes on for a couple of minutes. She curls up in a ball.
“Stop, gentlemen!”
Lum feels totally terrorized. She never felt so vulnerable, so… powerless.
Her fear is such that she fails to notice the physical pain.
To be exact, the lack of it!
The strikes, the vicious blows to vital points. They don’t even hurt.
Her body is really reporting the pain as if some six year old kids punched it. It is obvious that Ataru’s body can easily withstand amazing punishment, which could even mean certain death to an average man.
But the psychological pressure is tremendous. She feels the hits, and her mind simply suggests there must be pain! She feels her head explode, hurting! There’s a part of her mind that is still rational, though. And she realizes that even if this body can easily take it, her psyche is not geared to withstand it.
 “As much as I hate to admit it Ataru, you are probably right. None the less, I know you displeased our Lum-sama in some other, equally vile, way.”
“Megane, you’re scaring me! I did nothing to Lum! She’s been on Neptune all this time, with Princess Oyuki, I know this for a fact!”
“Even if this is true, You are to be punished. I see a ring on your finger. A present from another woman, obviously. I can only assume that Lum-sama was upset, when I saw her at the park, today, because of this. Are you going to confess your sin?”
“Lum! Lum just gave it to me! He… She has a ring like this on her finger too! Didn’t you see it?”
Another, strong, kick square to the face. The heavy work boot makes contact with her nose and cheek! Stars everywhere. Her head pushed back, she bangs it against the wall and falls face first to the pavement.
Lum smells something burning, while large black spots appear on the floor. She giddily realize that it’s her own blood, from her nose. Her eyes sting, watering, tears mixing with blood.
“You… you… will pay for this, Megane! Wait till I tell Lum! She will be so angry! She’ll get you… She will!”
She utters the words through a broken and frightened voice, in an almost bawling tone.
Megane notices the blood on the floor and on her face.
His eyes widen with surprise.
Impossible! Ataru is darn near invulnerable! Gods, something must be REALLY wrong, here!
He’s shaken by this.
“Ha ha! Ataru, I would face Lum’s wrath anytime, if it is for her good! But, Gentlemen, I believe that for today we’ve done. Ataru, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you are such a sissy today. I pity you. So that’s it! Let’s move it, gentlemen!”
Megane’s arrogant tone badly conceals his worry.
Have… have I crossed the line, this time?
He exits the room, followed by everyone else, except Perma, crouching at Ataru’s side.
“Hey, Ataru, are you all right? You lost blood only for a couple kicks in the face, come on man, you can take five times this shit, and laugh your ass off! We do it every week! Megane wouldn’t show it, but even he’s concerned! Do you need any help?”
Perma loosen the knots that tie Lum down.
Lum stares at him. Tears start flowing.
Darling… gets hurt so much, and bears it…? Every time… By the Holy Swamps!
Bawling, she’s unable to say anything.
“Hey, man, get a hold of yourself! You’re not a little kid!”
Then lowering his voice “Gods, Ataru, don’t cry, it gives me the creeps. What the hell is with you, man? I never saw you like this. Did… you break up with Lum, and she left earth, or something?”
Lum curbs her feelings, taking a deep breath.
I must be strong.
“Thank you, Kosuke. No, it’s alright. Lum still loves me as much as ever, and I personally can assure you she’s here on Earth. It’s just that… I just need to be alone a bit. P-please go… Thank you again. I’ll be OK”
“Hey, I’m sorry, Ataru. OK, see ya.”
Lum is finally alone in the dark clock tower. Physical pain practically vanished, and her nose stopped bleeding almost immediately once her… friends stopped beating her. She now feels her body as if nothing happened. Sure, her ribs are a bit sore, but not much. Undoubtedly, Darling’s amazing strength and recovery abilities. But this experience left a deep emotional scar into her. Kidnapped, beaten by her friends! [/i
On a whim, only because they thought that Darling… did something to herself! Stupid… stupid and foolish adoration for Lum, the Space girl!
This time she really was scared. She still is. She can’t help it; she weeps again.
She ironically thinks, Weeping. How unmanly of Darling.

“Hey sexy girl!”
Ataru jumps off the bed!
“Who? What?”
Dozing off, lost in his thoughts, about what Lum could be doing now in his body and damning himself since he did not think to avoid completely Benten’s abduction while he could, back in Tomobiki, he did not realize a few hours have passed.
“We landed… and we have to take a good shower and dress up, The boys are waiting for us!”
Ataru takes one long puzzled look to Benten.
“By the eternal soul, Lum, get fucking on with it! What’s wrong with you, did that dickhead Darling make you cry again? I’ll have to take good permanent care of him, as soon as we get back to Tomobiki.”
No! Lum is in my body!
“Don’t you dare!!”
Ataru feels an overwhelming rage rising and the words come out as a low, threatening growl. His fangs are bared, slightly crouching in an aggressive stance and primal energy flows thru him, crackling with blue static and sparks, arcing between his body and the metal walls and floor of the ship. His gaze must be really scary, as Benten silently takes a couple steps back!
“Hey, hey, chill out, Lum! Allright, I won’t touch your precious Darling. At least I recognize you now… uh?”
She takes his hand in her own.
“Nice. What is this? A ring? Who gave it to you? Don’t tell me Ataru did.”
Instant mood change, from fury to full blush!
“Uh… No, it’s an ooold ring I… ah, had in my jewelry box. It does not mean a thing… haha, see, I just felt, like, putting it on…”
“Sure. It looks quite cheap though, if you ask me… not really chic to wear it. But, if you like it…”
Then, she starts pushing Ataru to the shower.
“Nuff talkin’! …come on, we still have to take a good shower and dress up. Let’s go!”
Benten closes the automatic door of the bathroom behind her and in a matter of seconds strips of her chains and metal battle bikini remaining stark naked! Ataru looks at her strong and athletic body and blushes slightly.
“Hey! W… what a magnificent body!” he exclaims, not aware he actually voiced his thought.
Benten loosen her long black hair, removing the headchain.
“Well, thank you, baby. I know, I’m good, but I still believe you’re way sexier than I am. I’m made to fight… you’re made to make love.”
This time, despite himself, Ataru blushes deeply.
“What the heck are you waiting for” she asks him.
Benten stands in front of him, dangerously near, and shaking her head, reaches behind Ataru’s back, unfastening his bra. For a moment, she pushes her bare breast against his bosom, lightly brushing it. Ataru wants to die.
She pulls away.
“You really must have something wrong, Baby. I never saw you so out of your depth. Come on, let’s have a shower now. By the way, you still have to take off your bikini bottoms. I can remove those too, if you want.”
“E… ehm, w-w-why don’t you shower first a-a-and I…”
“Nonsense! Come over here, tiger girl!”
Benten playfully grabs Ataru and pulls him inside the shower with her. The sudden impact with the water… he closes his eyes and feels Benten pulling down his bikini bottoms.
Then, she starts lathering his back and hair, while he feels like a wooden log lathering himself. He never felt so ashamed to touch a woman’s body before… since it is Lum’s body he’s touching. But… the combination of Benten’s slow and gentle strokes… and his own…
“Watch it, Lum. Your electric juice is a no-no in here.”
All of a sudden Ataru returns to reality and grasps he’s arousing himself.
No! I need a distraction! Exchange-traded derivative contracts are standardized derivative contracts (e.g. futures contracts and options) that are transacted on an organized futures exchange; these contracts can include futures, call and put-
“Yo, baby, your turn.”
Benten turns her back to him, lathering herself, and Ataru finds himself with soap in one hand and sponge in the other.
Oh gods. How many times have I dreamed of Benten asking me to lather her back…
and when she does, I’m... Lum! If I lose it now, I’m as good as dead!

His hand shivers, as he glides the soapy sponge across Benten’s back.
G-Global Tactical Asset Allocation, or GTAA, is a…uh, top-down financial investment strategy that… uhm, attempts to exploit short-term market inefficiencies by establishing sex positions in an assortment of market pleasure points with the goal to reach climax… Hey! what the hell am I thinking?!
Ataru realizes he has one hand gently caressing Benten’s lathered breast and the other…
Benten slowly turns to face Ataru, with a feline smile. She puts her arms around his neck and looks straight into his eyes, leisurely pulling him to her, for a full body contact and pushing her knee and leg forward.
“Hey Lum, I like it how you scrub me. Very sexy. Should I take it as an open invitation, or you still like guys more than gals? Hey… want a kiss?”
She swamps him square on his lips.
Ataru almost faints, his mind overloading. It’s by sheer luck he manages to keep electricity under control…
Minutes later, coming out of the bathroom with a towel around both, Benten sports a very satisfied expression on her face. Ataru is blushing, deeply embarrassed.
“Come on Lum, I was just teasing you! All that fuss… and only a little kiss. We’ve gone much further than this in the past, a couple years ago at that party… that time we didn’t stop until we finished!”
FURTHER THAN THIS IN THE PAST? Lum’s got a hell of a lot explainin’ to me!
She drops her towel and starts putting on lingerie.
“Hey, come on! Just think at all the boys waiting for you!”
“But… but… Ataru, I mean Darling! I… uh- love him! And… and he…”
Benten is rummaging in Lum’s wardrobes.
“Oh, sure. Even if what you say was true… and it ain’t… There’s a wild place, on Earth, called Las Vegas. I’ve been there once. They say: what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas! Well, same here. Let me help you. I think this rag is sexy enough.”

“Who the hell is inside here?”
Onsen mark slams open the door of the clock room. Lum jumps to her feet, her heart in a frenzy.
“Moroboshi! I knew it! It is always you! It is a week of water closet cleaning duty for you, wise guy! Now, you’ll come with ME!”
He aggressively moves towards Lum.
Before the English teacher could grab her, she transforms in an indistinguishable blur that darts around and past him along an impossible trajectory, escaping from the small room.
In mere seconds, she’s out of the school.
As darkness falls, Lum hikes back home. Her eyes reddened from tears, and her world crumbling as the truth of what’s she discovering about Darling is staggering. Occasionally, a nice girl attracts her attention, and what flashes in her mind makes her feel even worse.
Once inside the house, she takes off her shoes and quietly walks to the kitchen. Ataru’s parents do not even acknowledge her presence, both in front of the TV set, one of the very rare occasions in which Ataru’s father puts down his newspaper. There’s a plate of leftovers on the table for her. Without thinking, she covers it with half inch of a mixture of Tabasco, hot Pimento sauce and raw Wasabi; at the first bite, she almost chokes. White hot molten steel, exploding like a volcano in her mouth.
“ARGH! Water! Ach! Holy Swamps, this hurts, so bad!”
It takes at least three minutes to breathe again, and another ten minutes to quench the burning in her throat and nose. Her eyes water so much she almost can’t see.
Lum can’t help but think about Darling. About all the things she has done to him. If the mild mixture she uses here tastes so bad… what about all the savory treats she brings back from Oniboshi and carelessly shove down his throat every now and then?
And… what… what does it feel like to be electrocuted?
It’s a keen pleasure giving out energy.
Many Raijin Oni like to exchange energy making love, too.
She knows that it can be harmful, to humans, in high doses. But, what if Darling’s sensibility to electricity is similar to his taste to spicy flavor? Even mild zaps, used as light buffs to make children behave on Oniboshi, could be unbearable to him! And… and the strong zaps? The real strong ones, when she’s angry?
She tiredly walks upstairs, feeling depressed. Lum opens the door to Ataru’s room.
“Darling…?” There’s no answer.
I’ll have to do at least a shower, before going to bed, thanks to Megane. I hope Darling will be back soon, I am getting really worried. I wonder where Ten is?
All of a sudden, Ten flies out of her closet and blows a fireball at her. With lightning reflexes, she picks up a heavy frying pan from the floor and parries the fire, before rolling on the tatami in a defensive stance! She’s surprised at the sheer speed she did all this, without even thinking.
These must be again Darling’s abilities, I am using them unconsciously!
“Ten! Stop that, or else!”
“Hu hu hua ha ha! Or else what? Come on, idiot, try to catch me!”
“I said stop it! I am Lum, not Darling! Do you understand?”
Ten immediately freezes.
He floats next to Lum’s face.
“Well… of all your excuses… this one is the lamest.”
He breathes fire almost at point blank range. Lum shrieks from pain.
After a split second the frying pan has a new dent on it, and Ten is flying out of the window.
Lum is outraged. Cleaning her blackened face, she yells to Ten:
“You are going to pay for this, you damn firebug!”
Ten screams back, yelping.
“Ouuch… you hurt me, dork! That hurt a lot, look, I’m bleeding! Sniff! Now.. now… I’ll go and tell Lum, and she will electrocute you! So there! Bwahaahaaa!”
“Please, be my guest, but don’t be surprised she already knows, brat!”
She drops the pan to the floor.
This is a nightmare. It’s absolutely incredible. Darling takes hits from everywhere and everyone.
How the hell does he survive all this? How am I going to survive another day of all this?
A few minutes later, she sees Ten’s little spaceship take off. There goes her last hope to get help.
That… spoiled brat. Once… once I get my body back, he’ll be sorry! Yeah!

She crumbles to the floor. Sitting cross legged and cuddling herself, her hands on her face, she starts quietly sobbing again.

Ataru resignedly slips on the sleek black tigerstriped go go boot. That’s it, he’s dressed.
For a moment, he feels a bit uneasy, as if he was, like, a drag queen, or something.
He turns to Benten. Wow. She looks great instead, with a very daring and elegant, yet martial, dark metal and chainmail dress.
Doubt again seizes him, again considering where Benten wants to take him.
I can’t do this.
“Benten. I really don’t feel well, I want to go home. Please.”
She looks up to him, mouth open.
“Holy shit… Lum baby, you’re absolutely stunning. You are going to be the dream plate tonight. Take a look!”
She pushes him in front of a mirror.
The woman that stares back to him is incredibly beautiful and outrageously sexy. Ataru is shocked at his own sight.
He put on the clothes that Benten chose from the wardrobe, a form fitting black evening dress weaved with metal gold tigerstriping, daringly short to perfect her beautiful legs sheathed in smooth stockings and with a deep V cut enhancing her magnificent cleavage. Benten only slightly touched his face with makeup. Still Benten combed and dressed his green blue hair and chose jewelry for him.
Dressed to kill!
His blue eyes… He blinks a couple of times. He smiles.
Holy WOW.
I could fall in love this moment with this woman. But… I AM this woman, now.
He turns back to Benten.
“I want to go back home. Now.”   
“You are not, baby. You are going to come with me, and at least see the boys. It’s the first time in a year I manage to drag you here! Once you’ve done this, I’ll let you go. You’re on my planet now, you cannot take off if I don’t allow it.”
Benten grabs Ataru’s wrist and yanks him out of Lum’s spaceship.
Ataru looks with astonishment at the private spaceport. It’s dark, on Benten’s planet, with a lot of iridescent and multicolor aurora glowing in the skies above them. Probably night time. A colossal, brightly shining, palace stands before them: Benten’s family dwelling. Something akin to a tapis roulant speeds them through a great entrance, and inside a huge dancing hall, Benten and Lum appear on top of a gigantic staircase. Music stops, and they are both officially introduced. The whole floor cheers and acclaim them as if they were both empresses.
Ataru does not believe the sheer quantity of men and teenagers that call Lum’s name. How the hell do they know her? He looks, wide eyed, at some of ‘the Boys’. Many are more handsome than Rei. Even he finds them striking.
What irony. After all his girlhunting, Lum remained loyal to him…and the moment he takes her place, he’s about to… to…
He feels embarrassment, guilt, and shame.
No. Luckily, I’m a MAN! Ugh! I can’t possibly conceive to be with another man, not even in a girl’s body!
Lots of gorgeous girls, as well. However, for the first time, he does not feel any attraction for them, his mind only recording and classifying their beauty. As a woman would do.
No doubt everyone is here simply to see Lum. To have a glimpse of Lum.
As he hovers down the staircase and gently touches the dancing floor, all the guests make way. He can feel their desire, lust, it’s almost tangible, almost overwhelming. A unknown shiver flashes in his body.
He does not realize it, but he moves in an incredibly sensuous and sexy, yet elegant and subtle, way. He totally inherited Lum’s moves and body language, and puts on quite a show, simply walking.
It’s not looks alone. A secret power, unknown to Ataru, based on pheromones and unconscious telepathic abilities, affects everyone close by, the ultimate seductive weapon that makes Lum irresistibly attractive to almost every biocompatible male. That ‘almost’, being Ataru…
Noting the effect his presence has on everyone, for the first time, Ataru really understands who has lived with him for the last two years.
And he finds himself at fault, wanting. Unworthy. Really not on a par with even the humblest pretender attending this party.
Both Benten and Megane were right, after all.
But… deep down, he always suspected his inadequacy. So, he willfully rejected her. Kept Lum at a distance, to avoid corrupting, spoiling her. To protect her… from himself. To avoid contaminating Lum with his infecting lust. For a moment, his head spins. He feels queasy, thinking of himself. Pitiful… just pitiful.
So, finally realizing that I’m not good enough for Lum is what it actually takes to admit to myself my own, absolute love for her?
Benten whispers to him.
“See? You are the most prized reward of this galaxy’s quadrant. Thousands of the wealthiest and most powerful males of all Humanoid races –and some of other races as well! - would literally kill only for a night with you. I still cannot believe why you’re so stubborn to stay with that idiot.”
“I really don’t understand either. She deserves better.”
“Lum? What did you say?”
“Ah - I mean, OK I have seen the boys. Now please, I beg of you, take me back to Earth. Please.”
“I am sorry, you know perfectly well you cannot leave immediately. It’s called protocol. You cannot walk in here without doing some critical PR unless you do not want to start some fucking war! Plus, excuse me, if you don’t want to have fun, that’s your call, but I do.”
“What… What am I supposed to do?”
Benten turns to stare at him.
“Lum, you should know what to do! You… really are not yourself today… uhm”
Her eyes narrow dangerously, an obvious doubt flashing in Benten’s mind. Ataru catches it immediately.
So he sheepishly smiles.
“Aaahh. You want to play. OK then, let’s play! I’ll do all introductions.”
That was a close shave!


Thank you for reading my story! Please comment and review, it is thanks to your feedback that I am encouraged to write new stories!
« Last Edit: June 28, 2011, 11:52:40 PM by Lum-chan »

Offline abuel

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Re: Re: Fanfiction?
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2011, 08:40:38 PM »
nice :Y Cant wait next chapters ;D


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