Topic: HARD TO BE ATARU !!

[GiovaneDinamitardo]

URUSEI YATSURA, THE UNOFFICIAL 10TH SEASON[/color] (click on this link to read the whole plot of this saga).

"HARD TO BE ATARU"   (+18 !!! NOT an hentai tale !!)

CHAPTER ONE: DIVINE PUNISHMENT !!


Tomobiki, april the 21.


Finally the "D-day" arrived!

The people stood in line until the night before in front of the shops, waiting spasmodically opening hours.

It was still a wonderful sight to see the order and serenity that hovered over all persons, neatly lined up, waiting for the passage of time just to reach their goal: in this (admittedly) the Japanese are truly a " superior race. "

IN FACT ....

.... the next morning, as soon as the first committed lifted the shutters of the windows ....









POW !
SOCK !!
SMASH !!
THUD !!!!
BONK !!!

[XY, SCREAMING FURIOUSLY] YOU DANMEEEEEEED !!
[XY, SCREAMING FURIOUSLY] YOU STUPIIIIIIID !!
[XY, with wrath] GIVE ME BACK MY COPY OF THE ALBUM !!
[XY, with wrath too] Want to come back live at home, right? [now screaming] SO GIVE ME BACK MY COPY OF THE ALBUM !
[XX, LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEK !!! WHO FELT MY AAAAAAAAAAAS ?!?


.... [ehm]....


... what I was talking about ?

OH, SURE: IT WAS THE DAY OF THE RELEASE OF THE ALBUM "SISTER ANGEL, SISTER DEMON" OF U.Y:T.R.I.B.E !!!

Despite the large number of engraved copies, the album sold out immediately on the first day; in the evening, the press officer of the major held a press conference to apologize for the incident, promising that it would seek to replenish stocks as quickly as possible .

... [A-hem] ...

.... well, actually you could see plainly that IN HIS EYES WAS BRANDED THE SYMBOL OF THE YEN !!

In any case...

... those who managed to buy it (struggling with all their strenghts) realized that had to make room on the shelf reserved for the big of the music: the 17 tracks that comprised it were dynamite (music) pure, the lyrics damn catchy, musical arrangements very well cared, the sounds ranging from agreements sought to brutal bursts of energy.

The next few days all the media were awash with the "singles" taken from the album: this only served to increase the group's fame and celebrity.

More, the producers were familiar with the adage that says: "the iron is beaten until it is hot": after less than a week begun the "tour of attack" of the band for about ten days.

One success after another, due to a number of details.

First of all, mixed with their songs, U.Y:T.R.I.B.E. also proposed old (famous) cover bands but played only once: in this way every concert became an event.

Then .....

.... [A-HEM !!!!!!] ...

... well, who attended the concerts realized that both Lamù and Sham Poo were offering a real "SLOW STRIPTEASE"!

IN FACT ...

.. in the beginning there were dressed as schoolgirls (BUT WITH VERY SHORT SKIRTS !!)...

... time after timd, the necklines were becoming more daring, while the length of skirts decreased dramatically (AND BECAME SO EASY TO PEEP THEIR PANTIES !!)...


.... UNTIL THEY WERE WEARING JUST BOOTS AND A TIGER-STRIPED BIKINI !!


Even the lyrics seemed made to generate a series of uncontrollable heart attacks in men's population.

IN FACT...

[Sham poo, singing] Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe
Love is a banquet on which we feed

Come on now try to understand
The way I feel when I'm in your hands
Twist my hands now that we're under covers

can hold me now
can thrill me now
can touch me now...[/size][/b]

...

[Lamù, singing] without you
no, I cannot live.
Forgive,
the yearning burning
I believe it's time
too real to feel

So touch me now,
touch me now,
touch me now....[/size][/b]


.... [ehm].....


... well, the point is that, every concert, the audience waited spasmodically a (now) well-known song.

THIS ONE !!

[Ataru, singing]i wanna see you dancing without taboo
and then wanna rip off your panties
wow, wanna you too
C'mon sister
we're walking on the headlong
I wanna have..

[Sham Poo and Lamù, singing togheter]SEX ! SEX ! SEX !


.... [A-HEM ...] ...

The alien hated this song: it was also its fault that her reputation had been destroyed forever and now everyone believed that was a sex-starved !!

Well, fate had decided that this was not enough.

IN FACT...

... at the end of the last concert, behind the scenes...


[Kakugari, so much excited] WOOOOOOOOW, What did I tell you, little boy? Did you see ?!? YOU BECAME A STAR TOO !!!
[chibi, groaning in pain] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH, QUIT TO SQUEEZE MEEEEEE !!!

[Perma, so serious] Sham Poo, I wanna ask to you a thing.
[Sham Poo, so surprised] About ?
[PERMA] WHAT'S THIS STORY OF "SUPER WONDERFUL SISTERS" ?!?[/size]

The chinese got all red in face.

[Sham Poo, so embarassed] W... well.. it had to Lemain a secLet, but...
[Perma, still serious] So ?!?
[Sham Poo, sweetly red in face] Well, the pLoduceLs have cLeated this bLand because they wanna make me and Sissy to sing along with ChListina AguileLa when, next summeL, will hold heL only conceLt in Japan.
[PERMA, SO SHOCKED] CH.. CHRISTINA AGUILERA ?!? Y... YOU WILL SING WITH CHRISTINA AGUILERA AND DIDN'T WANT TO TELL US ANYTHING ?!?
[Chibi, now so depressed] Ok, Ok, I got: THE PRODUCTION FOUND THE SYSTEM TO FIRE US ALL !!
[Sham Poo, with joyful voice] Hey, what aLe you saying ? No one will fiLe anyone !!
AND THEN, THE lELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SISSY AND DAlLING IS SO STlONG THAT...



VOLTS !!!

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAP !!!!

[LAMU', "SIMPLY FURIOUS"] YOU STUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IID !!!
[ATARU, SCREAMING LOST IN PAIN] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RGH !! DAMNED ALIEEEEEEEEEN !!

The lightning issued by the alien stopped only time she needs to catch her breath.

[Ataru, rising from the ashes, screaming] THAT'S ENOUUUUUUUUGH, THIS STORY MUST EEEEEEEEND !! YOU'VE TO STOP TO GET ANGRY WHEN I SIGN AUTOGRAPH TO MY FANS: YOU DO THE SAME WITH YOUR !!!
[LAMU', same conditions] THE POINT IS THAT I DON'T ASK THEM ANY DAAAAAAAATE !! MOST OF ALL, I DON'T SIGN ANY AUTOGRAPH ON THEIR PANTIES OR ON THEIR BRAS !!!
[Ataru, now with stupid voice]  I should think so, have you ever seen a guy go around wearing panties and bra?!?

VOLTS !!!

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAP !!!!

[Perma, with curious voice] What were you talking about, Sham Poo ?!?
[Sham Poo, SO MUCH EMBARASSED, scratching her head] Well.....
[Kakugari, so blue] Maybe we could keep playing as session men...
[Chibi, so depressed] It wouldn't be quite the same....

[Sham Poo, now screaming nervously] SISSY, THAT'S ENOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH !! QUIT TO ZAP DAlLIIIIIIIIIIIIING !!!
[LAMU', OUT OF CONTROL, SCREAMING] LEAVE TO CALL HIM "DARLIIIIIIING" !!


VOLTS !!!

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAP !!!!

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOM !!!





The alien flew away, leaving behind devastation and destruction (as well as a large group of people severely burned)

After a long, nervous aimless flight, landed on top of a tall skyscraper.

[Lamù, groaning nervously to herself] You damned !! You stupid !! You damned ! You stupid !! You damned !![now screaming] YOU STUPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ID !!!!


VOLTS !!!

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAP !!!!

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOM !!!


That lightning was so strong that reduced to ashes the entire building in minutes!

She landed in another skyscraper, not so far.

[Lamù, same situation] I am not angry with you but also with those who made you so stupid!

[now screaming] IF ONLY I COULD GET IN MY HANDS WHO HAS BESTOWED UPON YOU SO STUPID I'D REDUE TO ASHES TO THE SOUND OF LIGHTNING !!!


A sudden telephone call.

Lamù fumbled a little in her bra and pulled out her (tiny) phone.

[Lamù, now with curious voice] Hey, who's this number ? [now with clear voice] Moshi Moshi ?!?

[A COLD FEMALE VOICE, SO ANGRY] I DIDN'T LIKE AT ALL THE FOOL YOU JUST SAID !!

[Lamù, blinking her large eyes] Sorry ?!? Who's speaking ?!?

[RUMIKO, STILL ANGRY] I_AM_YOUR_MAKER !!! SEE TO BRING ME MORE RESPECT !

[Lamù, now with contemptuous voice] Regretful, if you wanted to give me an april fool you come late !!
[RUMIKO, SAME VOICE] I'M NOT JOKING AT ALL !! ASK FOR FORGIVENESS, NOW !!!
[LAMU', FURIOUS] GO TO HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL !!!
[RUMIKO, FURIOUS TOO] You little shameless, I'll bitterly repent of treating me bad!
I HAVE THE POWER TO DO ANYTHING WITH YOU!



WAS AT THAT MOMENT THAT A BLINDING LIGHT, FALLING FROM THE SKY, ENVELOPPED THE ALIEN !!!


[Lamù, screaming lost in panic] H.. HEY, HEY: WHAT IT THIS ?!? WHAT IT THIS ?!?

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!!



A slight chirping awakened her.

She took a lot of time figuring out where she was: in a park, sitting on the floor and leaning against a tree.

[Lamù, still confused] H.. hey ... sweatshirt and pants? But I was not wearing only my bikini?

Her head buzzed like a hive, the vision was still blurred but she could hear the voices of some boys who were just behind her.

[A lots of guys, so excited] Soooooooo ?!?
[A guy, excited too] I risked my life to get this poster, but it was worth it. [now screaming] TAKE A LOOK !!!
[The other guys, SO MUCH EXCITED] OH MY Gooooooooooooooooooooooo oD !! HOW MUCH THEY'RE COOL !! HOW MUCH THEY'RE SEXY !!!


"Bleah", was thinking Lamù, "horny boys are really nasty" !!

[A guy, excited too] So what's the one you like best?
[A guy, with trembling voice] Th... this one !
[A guy, with clear voice] NO, BETTER THIS ONE !!
[A guy] And you?
[A guy, SO MUCH EXCITED] I LOVE BOTH !! I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH BOTH!
[The ohther guys, screaming nervously] YOU PERVERTEEEEEEEEED !!!

Seriously disgusted the alien was about to fly away but ...

BONK !!

... FELL TO EARTH!

[Lamù, groaning in pain] W... what's going on? Why can not I fly?!?

She was going to try to fly but, by chance, heard the end of that conversation between sexual predators.

IT WAS AN ERROR !!!


IN FACT...

[A guy, with curious voice] HEY, YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE GONA DIE IF YOU REALLY WANNA HAVE SEX WITH THE "PRINCESS OF THE ONIS" ?!?
[A guy, same voice] You're right, EVERYBODY KNOWS SHE'S A NYMPHOMANIAC !!
[A guy, SO MUCH PERVERTED] Do you know a better way to die?!?

... [ehm] ...

Trembling so much, Lamù glanced covertly the group of the boys...

... AND ...


SHOCK !!



THEY WERE GETTING EXCITED IN FRONT OF THE POSTER THAT SHOWED THE PICTURE OF HER AND SHAM POO !!

[A guy, SO MUCH PERVERTED]But think about it? Having sex before with the alien, then with the Chinese and then ... then ... Well, in that while I recover a bit they could ....


Simply too much !!

Lamù got furious....

... and decided to leave her hiding place.

FATAL ERROR !!!

IN FACT...

[Lamù, with crossed arm and despising voice] YOU MUST SEE IF I AGREE WITH YOU !!

.... [OH MY GooooooooooooooooooD !!!] ...

[A guy, with strange voice] Here came the <<nice one>> !!
[Lamù, now screaming] ENOUGH IS ENOUGH: I'LL GIVE YOU A LESSON THAT YOU'LL REMEMBER AS LONG AS YOU LIVE !!!

SHE TOOK HIS HAND ....

... AND ...


.... [ehm] ...


[A guy, same voice] Should something happen ?!?

BIG SHOCK !!

[LAMU', SHOCKED] H.... HEY, WHY I CANNOT GIVE YOU A ZAP ?!?


POW !
SOCK !!
SMASH !!
THUD !!!!
BONK !!!



[EEEEEEEEEEK !!]

TH... THEY BEAT HER, SO HARD AND SO LONG !!!

While they were waling away...

[A guy, with despising voice]Next time avoid bothering me as we dream, or we will not be so forgiving.

Groaning and crying, the alien got up.

[Lamù, trembling so much] Y.... you cowards !! BEAT UP A HELPLESS GIRL 10 VERSUS 1 !

She tried to take some steps but my legs were trembling so that she could not really stand up.

A SUDDEN STUMBLE...

... AND ....



OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH !!!



..... SOFT LANDING !!!

[Lamù, wondering] W... where I am ?!?
[XX, WITH TREMBLING NERVOUS VOICE] YOU..... YOU.... YOU....


[A-HEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[Lamù, same voice] I do not understand, WHO OPENED THIS AIRBAG TO SAVE ME ?!?

[XX, GETTING NERVOUS] THOSE_ARE_NOT_AN_AIRBAAA AAAAAAAAAAG !!!

Most of all, I need them to feed my daughters so LEAVE TO SQUEEZE THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM !!!

Lamù winked that <<airbag>> a bit...

... AND ...

... <<REALIZED>> !!!



SHE WAS FEELING THE CHEST OF A WONDERFUL WOMAN !!

[Lamù, getting up, with clear voice] SAKURA SAN, HOW LONG !! HOW ARE YOU ? WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTERS ?!?


SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP ! SLAP !


[SAKURA, TOP NERVOUS] YOU DAMNED !! Even now that I've two daughters to care you don't stop doing stupid ?!?

While she was walking away, Lamù tried to get up once again !

[Lamù, crying so much] [sigh] W.. what's happening today ? [sigh] Why everybody beats me ?!?

Suddenly, out of the corner of the eye, noticed a well known person.

[Lam�, screaming desperately] R.. RAN CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN !!! HELP ME, PLEASE !! I'm so bad that I cannot get up !!

[OH MY GOD !!!!]

RAN WASTED NO TIME !!!

LOADED UP AN HEAVY RPG GUN ...

... AND ....

[RAN, SCREAMING NERVOUSLY] YOU DAMNEEEEEEEEEEED, WANNA RIP OFF ONCE AGAIN MY CLOTH ?!?

STAY AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!

Take this [PooooooooooW]
and this [PooooooooooW]
and this [PooooooooooW]
and this [PooooooooooW]
and this [PooooooooooW]
and this [PooooooooooW]
and ....


It was good that a lots of smoke rise from the explosions, because Ran centered Lamù at first shot, so Lam� flown away...

... AND LANDED ON A NOTORIOUS PERSON !!!

[XX, SO MUCH ANGRY] YOU DAMNED, WATCH YOUR STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP !!!
[Lamù, totally confused] gh.. gh... I.. I'm sorry: I really beg your... [now joyful] OH MY GOD, BENTEN CHAN !!!

SHE HUGGED HER IMMEDIATELY !!!

IT WAS AN ERROR !!!

IN FACT....

[Lamù, still hugging Benten, crying] Oh, Benten, [sigh] friend of mine, [sigh] God sends you: [sigh] please help me! [sniff] You cannot [sigh] you cannot even imagine [sigh]what is happening me today!

... [ehm] ...

[BENTEN, GETTING NERVOUS] YOU..........
[Lamù, so confused, blinking her eyes] Nan-da ?!?
[BENTEN, FURIOUS] .... THINK THAT TOUCH MY ASS REALLY MAKES YOU FELL BETTER ?!?
[Lamù, now so embarassed] gh.... gh... f... forgive me, forgive me but.. but...



b]POW !!![/b]



[Benten, HOLDING A GREAT HAMMER and panting loudly] NEXT TIME INVENT A BETTER EXCUSE TO FEEL ME !!! [and walked away]


Finally Lamù, with great difficulty, managed to reach a fountain and began to bathe his face where she felt more pain.

[Lamù, crying so much] w.. what's going on today ? Why everybody beats me ?!?

SUDDENLY....

... noticed her reflection in a puddle near...

... AND ...







[LAMU', SCREAMING LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!!


Trembling with fear, she gave herself a pinch on the cheek ....

... WAS NOT A DREAM !!! IT WAS ALL TRUE !!!


[LAMU', LOST IN PANI] NO! NO !! IT CANNOT BE !!! IT CANNOT BE !! THIS IS SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE !!!



A desperate race out of the park ...

... a frantic search ...

... a mirror, finally !



SHOCK !!!


[LAMU' SHOCKED] HOW IS POSSIBLE ?!? HOW DID I END UP INSIDE DARLING'S BODY ?!?

[GiovaneDinamitardo]

URUSEI YATSURA, THE UNOFFICIAL 10TH SEASON[/b][/color] (click on this link to read the whole plot of this saga).

"HARD TO BE ATARU"

CHAPTER TWO: ESCALETION OF PAIN !!


Tomobiki, may the 2nd.


The people who stood in the street at that time did not notice at that guy that, in front of a mirror, was as white as a rag.

But if thaty had known that, "inside" him, actually lurked the soul of the most beautiful girl in the universe, would at least stop to ask how the heck she did to get into a mess like that.

IN FACT ...

... LAMU' HAD BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO ATARU !!

This time it was a "simple"exchange of personality: his body was really upset to the point that they do not have anything that would recall its origins, (and this was a "great loss").

... but, above all, he knew from that moment, everything could happen!


"I must be calm, " was the (trembling) thought of the alien: "I have to stay quiet and ponder every step , every breath, every decision ! Unfortunately darling is a prodigious magnet when it comes to attracting trouble " !

IN FACT...


POW !!!

[Ataru/Lamù, rising from the ashes WITH A GREAT LUMP ON "HIS" HEAD, screaming furiously] HEY, WHO HIT ME WITH THIS HAMMER ?!?

POW !!!

[XY, with cold voice]Calm down, we need to talk seriously.
[Ataru/Lamù, rising once more WITH TWO GREAT LUMPS ON "HIS" HEAD", with trembling voice] CH.. CHIBI !! You damned, is this your gratitude after everything I've done for you?

[CHIBI, still angry] You did not lift a finger to help me: indeed, if was not for you I'd be still in that damned hospital!
Were Lamù and Sham Poo that told to the press that I was the one who stopped the damn serial killer.
That's why the girl begun to love me too, that's why only to them I owe my gratitude!

"Oh my God", was the though of Lamù, "is really so hard to adapt to this reality"

[Chibi, still angry] But we're not here for this one.
[Perma, angry too] We wanted to talk about <<that>> song.
[Ataru/Lamù, blinking "his" little eyes] Song ? Which one ?
[Kakugari, nervous too] <<CHANCE IN LOVE[/i][/size]>>
[Ataru/Lamù, blinking "his" little eyes] Something wrong ?
[Chibi, with trembling nervous voice] It has the lyrics so silly ..
[Perma, same voice] ... a merciful arrangement ...
[Kakugari, so nervous] WHY DID YOU INSIST TO PUT IT INTO THE NEW ALBUM ?!?

... [ehm] ...

...    maybe they were in good faith and had not noticed at all that day ...

... [A-hem] ...

... the point was that the song was written entirely by her: when Ataru made her notice the same things she pulled so many lightning strikes to him that, a moment before to kick the bucket, he agreed to included it in the album.

"Mmmmmh", was the tough of Lamù, "Let's see if I can take advantage of this situation".

[Ataru/Lamù, with strange "inspired" voice] Look guys, you've to know that, in that song, Lamù has lavished all the love that she feels for me!

When she sang it to me I was very impressed by his purity and sincerity, that's why I could not help but agree!

PLUS, FROM THAT MOMENT I BEGUN TO CARE AT HER MORE THAN IN THE PAST !!


POW !!!
SOCK !
THUD !
BONK !
CRASH !
THUMP, THUMP, THUMP !!!!



ALL OF THEM RE-BEGUN TO HIT "HIM" WITH THEIR HEAVY HAMMERS !!

[Chibi, furious] YOU DAMNED !! PRODUCERS HAVE SAID THAT NOONE LIKE THAT SONG !!!
[Kakugari, furious too] NEITHER MAKE IT DOWNOLOADABLE FROM INTERNET FOR A FISTFUL OF YEN HAS BEEN ENOUGH TO IMPROVE SALES !!
[Perma, furious too] NOW YOU MUST FIND A "GREAT IDEA" TO REMEDY OR OUR NEW ALBUM WILL BE "THE MOST REMEMBERED FLOP" FOR THIS RATHER THAN FOR THE OTHER SONGS!


When the dust raised during the brawl they had thinned out the three boys were seen moving away slowly from behind, with a scornful step ...

... MEANWHILE, ATARU/LAMU' WAS LAYING ON THE GROUNG, BRUISED ALL OVER THE BODY AND WITH SEVERAL LUMPS ON "HIS" HEAD !!

"N... No", was the (TREMBLING) though of the alien, "I.. I don't think it worked" !!

"He" tried several times to get up off the ground ...

... but had to give up: had been beaten so much and so often that the legs started to not support "him" anymore...

... so "he" asked for help with the first one "he" met in "his" path.


FATAL ERROR !!

IN FACT....

...

[Ataru/Lamù, with trembling voice] H... help... h... help: I.. I cannot stand anymore.
[XY, SCARED AT TOP] OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD !! KEEP HAAAAAAAAARD !!

Someone ran to meet "him"...

... when he reached he helped "him" to get held...

... AND ...

[Ataru/Lamù, same voice] Th.. thanks.. whoever you are, thanks for..
[XY, WITH DREAMY ROMANTIC VOICE] OH, SUGAR: IS THE LEAST I CAN DO TO HELP YOU !!


SHOCK !!!


Ataru/Lamù rose "his" sight a bit ...

... AND ...

[KOKERU, WITH A SWEET, LARGE SMILE] WE CAN CONSIDER THIS FACT THE BEGINNING OF A ROMANTIC, HOT DATE, SUGAR?!?

GREAT SHOCK !!!

[Ataru/Lamù, same voice, LOST IN PANIC] W... WHAT ?!? <<ROMANTIC-HOT-DATE>> ?!?
[Kokeru, "still inspired"] Oh, Sugar: you cannot imagine how long I dreamed to have a date with you !! [NOW SCREAMING IN A SILLY WAY] LET ME KISS YOU !! A DATE IS UNPERFECT WITHOUT A KIIIIIIIIIIIIS !!!

POW !!!

Although "he" had the pressure under the heels, began to run desperately.

[Kokeru, WITH AN EYE BLACK AND VIOLET, chasing Ataru] SUGAR ! SUGAR !! WHY YOU ACT LIKE THIS ?!? HOLD!!  HOOOOOOOOOOOLD !! WE COULD SPEND A WONDERFUL TIME TOGHETER !!!
[Ataru/lamù, running desperately] I ASSURE YOU THAT THERE IS AN ERROR, NOT EVERYTHING IS AS IT SEEMS !!
[Kokeru, same situation] HOLD !! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD !! YOU'LL SEE, YOU'LL LIKE TO KISS MEEEEEEEEEEEE !!
[Ataru/Lamù, still running lost in panic] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!

Become prey to despair, to escape the "deadly" pursuit Ataru/Lamù did not hesitate to jump off a wall ...

... landing, lost "his" balance ...

... made little, stupid steps to try to stand ...

... AND ....



STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIP !!!


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH !!!

............... [WOW !!!]


WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM !!!


Ataru/Lamù didn't understand what was happening, "he" knew only that had tried to cling to "something"to remain standing, but this "something" had collapsed, so "he" fell tumbling to the ground.

Moaning stood up...

... AND ...

... "he" noted that a large group of perverts had gathered around a girl.

[XX, with trembling voice] Ataru...
[Ataru/Lamù, with clear voice] OYUKI-CHAN, W.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?!?

.... [ehm] ....

[Oyuki, same voice] ... I understand your "youthful exuberance" but ...
[Ataru/Lamù, blinking "his" little eyes] Something wrong ?!?

..... [A-HEM] ...

[OYUKI, same voice, TOTALLY RED IN FACE] .. WHAT YOU DID IS JUST TOO DISREPUTABLE FOR A QUEEN !!

FINALLY "HE" REALIZED !!

HE HAD CLUNG TO OYUKI'S KIMONO BUT THIS ONE, RIPPING ITSELF, HAD LEFT THE QUEEN OF NEPTUNE IN PANTIES AND BRA (A TRUE VISION OF HEAVEN) !!!

SUDDENLY....


[XY, SCREAMING FURIOUSLY] MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEN !!

CLAP !!!

Ataru/Lamù absolutely did not understand how he could do such a thing ...

... but appreciated the fact that, with "his" bare hands, managed to stop the katana Shutaro a moment before they strike him to death!

[SHUTARO, GROANING NERVOUSLY] YOU DAMNED, WHAT DID YOU DO TO OYUKI ?!?
[Ataru/Lamù, groaning] Sh... shutaro, I... I assure you that.. that...
[Shutaro, same situation] THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME THAT I'LL SLICE YOU AS A WATERMELON !!
[Ataru/Lamù, lost in panic]Sh.. Shutaro, I... I can explain you everything: th.. this is not how it seems !!
[Shutaro, same situation] WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU EXPLAINED, THAT YOU'RE A PERVERTED SEX MANIAC ?!?

POW !!!

[Ataru/Lamù, holding a huge hammer] HOW DARE TO SPEAK ABOUT DARLING IN THIS WAY ?!?
[Shutaro, laying down to the ground WITH A HUGE LUMP ON HIS HEAD] Y... you damned !!

[Oyuki, now with COLD voice] Ataru...
[Ataru/Lamù] Oyuki-chan...

[OYUKI, with grave COLD voice] HOW_DARE_TO_HURT_TITTY_I N_THAT_WAY ?!?
[Ataru/Lamù, back lost in panic] EEEEK !! O...  Oyuki, I.. I can explain you everything.. th... this is not how it seems...
[Oyuki, same voice] I_THINK_THAT_YOU_NEED_TO _COOL_YOUR_HOT_SPIRIT !!
[Ataru/Lamù, still lost in panic, screaming desperately] OYUKI NO ! NO ! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD !!


CREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK !!!!


Those who witnessed this "discussion" could not resist the temptation to photograph the "final" of this scene with his celluar ...

... IN FACT...

... Ataru/Lamù (imprisoned in a block of ice immobilized at a too silly) seemed a funny straw in a glass!

When finally (late afternoon) the ice melted, Ataru/Lamù knew that "he" was going to touch rock bottom of the abyss of despair.

Well, this meant that, from that moment on, had to start digging!

IN FACT...

[A girl, so shocked] OH MY GOD, LOOK !!
[A girl, same situation] I.. I KNOW HIM !!
[A girl, same situation] IT'S ATARU MOROBOSHI !!
[A girl, getting excited] MORE, HE'S ATARU MOROBOSHI "THE GREAT" !!

They all rushed around him and "he" was happy to have finally someone to give "him" a hand; meanwhile, the girls get up and, with wet handkerchiefs ,began to make him cold packs on the bruises.

[Ataru/Lamù, panting loudly] Th.. thanks... thanks a lot !! You... you're the first beautiful thing that happened to me today !!
[A girl, getting excited] Oh, don't worry [now with strange EVIL voice] I'M SURE THAT YOU WELL KNOW HOW TO RECIPROCATE !!
[Ataru/Lamù, blinking "his" little eyes] Really ? In which way ?!?

[A GIRL, SO MUCH EXCITED] [FOR EXAMPLE YOU COULD HAVE A DATE WITH ME THIS EVENING !!
[A girl, getting angry] NO, WITH ME !!
[A girl, getting angry] NO, WITH ME !!
[A girl, getting angry] NO, WITH ME !!
[A girl, getting angry] NO, WITH ME !!
[A girl, getting angry] NO, WITH ME !!

"Mmmmmmh", was the though of the alien, "I can finally lard in the right way by being transformed into Darling"!

[Ataru/Lamù, with strange "inspired" voice]I thank you for everything you are doing for me, but you should know that I can not hear us in that way !
[A girl, so surprised] What ?!? What you mean ?!?

[Ataru/Lamù, same voice] You see, the life of a rock star is not easy and smooth as it seems and the tour that we just started is more grueling than expected.
I was really on the brink of collapse several times ...

... if not collapsed is only thanks to Lamù: she's doing her best to support me in many ways (physically and morally) ...

... and. .. WELL, I THINK THAT I'M SERIOUSLY GETTING IN LOVE WITH HER !


POW !!!
SOCK !!
THUD !!
BONK !!
THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP !!

SHE BEGUN TO HIT "HIM" WITH GREAT HAMMERS (with wrath) !!

[Ataru/Lamù, lost in pain, screaming desperately] HEY, WHAT I SAID WRONG ?

[A girl, so angry] YOU DAMEND !!
[A girl, SO MUCH angry] YOU CANNOT BELONG TO JUST ONE WOMAN !!
[A girl, FURIOUS] YOU ARE HERITAGE OF HUMANITY !!
[A girl, SO MUCH furious] YOU CAN NOT ESCAPE TO YOUR DUTY OF CELEBRITIES


Ataru/Lamù tried to escape...

.. but ...

... NOTICED THAT THE TROUBLES HAD MULTIPLIED !!


IN FACT...

... a large group of girls had gathered in front of "him" ...

... AND ...

[A girl, so angry] Damn perverted, do not feel shame for what you do?
[A girl, SCREAMING] WE ARE THE FANS OF LAMU '!
[A girl, screaming out of her soul] WE DON'T ALLOW YOU TO CORRUPT HIM RIGHT NOW THAT LOOKS LIKE HAVE FOUND THE RIGHT WAY!

[A girl, screming furiously] ATARU MOROBOSHI IS A "FREE SPIRIT", NO WOMAN CAN HOLD HIM "PRISIONER" !! HE DESERVE US ALL !!

[A girl, screaming furiously] ATARU MOROBOSHI IS JUST A GREAT LECHER THAT MAKE SUFFER OUR LOVELY ALIEN !! HE DESERVE TO DIE !![

[A girl, out of her soul] YOU STUPID !!
[A girl, out of her soul] YOU PERVERTED !!


RUMBLE !!!



The brawl that ensued was so rough and violent that raised a HUGE dust cloud...


... when tinned, Ataru came out crying and moaning, because "he" felt to have all the bones broken !!

[Ataru/Lamù, crying lost in panic] Th.. that's enough [sigh] .. that's enough .. [sigh]...  I don't [sniff] i don't take it anymore [sigh]

[XX, lost in panic] OH MY GOD, DAlLIIIIIIIIIIING !!
[Ataru/Lamù, now with clear voice] SHAM POO !!

The chinese ran to meet "him" and begun to hold him.
She wore a dress very short (SEXY AND SO MUCH HOT !!!) that "valued" anyone of her "turns" !!

[Sham Poo, still scared] How did you Leduce like that ?!?
[Ataru/Lamù, groaning in pain] gh.. gh... d... don't hold me in this way... y.. you hurt me !!
[Sham Poo, lost in panic] Oh my God, you'Le Leally bad !! LET ME HELP YOU !!


AHEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This time the gesture was so fast that no one was able to capture ...

... and they all ate their hands for the lost opportunity!

IN FACT ...

.. SHAM POO TORN A PIECE OF THE SLIP OF HER SKIRT...

... and started (carefully) to bathe the bruises of Ataru/Lamù.

MEANWHILE, THE ALIEN WAS MAKING SUPERHUMAN EFFORTS TO HOLD BACK "HIS" ANGER !!

"You damned shameless", was the though of the alien, "you did it on purpose: I COULD EVEN SEE THE INSTRUCTION OF WASHING OF YOUR PANTINES !!

THAT'S ENOUGH: TODAY I'LL FIX THIS STORY ONCE FOR ALL !!"

Ataru/Lamù rose...

... PUT "HIS" HANDS GENTLY ON THE HIPS OF THE CHINESE...

... AND PUSHED HER SWEETLY AGAINST A TREE !!

[Ataru/Lamù, with FAKE hot voice] OH, Sham Poo: sweet chinese of mine...

Mmmmmmmh !!!

Not only the chinese wasn't at all bothered by this behavior ...

... BUT IT WASN'T CLEAR WHETHER SHE WANTED TO DEFEND HERSELF OR TO STROKE HIM !!

[Ataru/Lamù, with fake HOT voice] Sham Poo, I cannot resist anymore, I must say it: DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME ?!?
[Sham Poo, with strange SWEET VOICE] Leally you wanna know ?!?

"If you answer <<yes>>, when this mess is over, I will return an only child" was the though of the alien.

[Sham Poo, same voice] W.. well, y.. you have to know that..

[A NOTORIOUS VOICE, "SIMPLY FURIOUS"] D-A-R-L-I-N-G ....



SHOCK !!



Hearing that voice the alien felt the blood freeze in her veins !!

"HE" turned slowly...

... AND ...


DEEP SHOCK !!


[LAMU', STANDING IN FLY, WITH CROSSED ARMS AND EVIL VOICE] WERE YOU FLIRTING ONCE AGAIN WITH MY SISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER ?!?

[Ataru/Lamù, lost in panic] NO! NO! THIS.. THIS CANNOT BE !! IT'S SIMPLY IMPOSSIBLE !!

[<<Lamù>>, same situation] Why it's impossible ?!?
[Ataru/Lamù, still lost in panic] I.. I AM YOU ... I MEAN.... YOU AND ME... Y.. YOU ARE ME !!! Y... YOU CANNOT BE HERE RIGHT NOW !! I.. YOU.. WE ARE ONE !! WE.. WE..

[<<LAMU'>>, SAME SITUATION] WHEN YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE AND TO RESPECT ME ?

I AM YOUR WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIFE !!!



VOLTS !!

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP !!




IT WAS THE FIRST TIME THAT LAMU' SUFFERED HER OWN ELECTROSHOCK !!!

[Ataru/Lamù, lost in  pain] WAAAAAAAAAH ! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH ! ENOUGH !! ENOUUUUUGH !! I feel.. I feel I'm gona dieeeeeeeeee !!
[<<LAMU'>>, still furious] NO !! I WON'T STOP UNTIL YOU WON'T ASK TO ME TO SERIOUSLY APOLOGIZE AND TO SWEAR THAT YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR WAY TO BE !!


[ATARU/LAMU', SCREAMING DESPERATELY] MERCY !!! MERCY !! MERCYYYYYYYYYYYY !!


.....
....
...
..

..
..

[Sham Poo, lost in panic] SISSY, SISSY: HOW AlE YOU ?!? WHAT'S GOING ON ?!?

Panting loudly the alien opened her eyes...

... and saw that was back herself in the flesh (and was wearing, as usual, just boots, panties and bikini).

[Lamù, groaning] W.. what happened to me ?!?
[Sham Poo, still scared] Well, this is what you have to explain to me: you'Le passed out suddenly, nothing and nobody could get back and then, suddenly, you staLted to scLeam at a fLightening way.

HoweveL feaL not Sissy: I have alLeady spoken with the pLoduction and asked (and got) moLe bLeaks to Lecover fLom stLess, these people must undeLstand that we'Le human beings and not just machines to make money!

[Lamù, so touched] Sh.. Sham Poo, y... you.. [now screaming] YOU'RE REALLY A LITTLE ANGEL, WAHAAAAAAAAH !! [and hugged her]

Not so far...


RUMBLE !!!

[Lamù, so confused]Hey, what's happening there ?!?
[Sham Poo, SO EMBARASSED] .. EHM... WHAT WElE YOU TALKING ABOUT, SISSY ?!?


When the dust cloud disappeared...

.. SOMETHING REMEMBERING SO FAR A HUMAN BEING (HEAVLY WOUNDED !!!) WAS TRYING TO RISE FROM THE ASHES !!

[LAMU', SO SHOCKED] DARLING !! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ?!?

...  [ehm] ...

Always the same, old story: a group of girls had just beaten up because of his ... [ehm]... of his "unproper behaviour".

[ATARU, groaning in pain but with wrath too] Poor little girls, you do not know what you missed!

The alien broke free herself from her sister and, in a moment, landed in front of Ataru.

[Lamù, screaming with wrath] DARLING, HOW ARE YOU?!?

[ATARU, SCREAMING WITH WRATH TOO] BAD! BAD AS USUAL !!

I was beaten by Sakura and Benten, Ran shot on me with her bazooka, Chibi, Kakugari and Perma knocked down me for a silly thing, Oyuki tried to froze me, that stupid maniac of Kokeru wanted to kiss in the mouth, Shutaro wanted to slice me like a watermelon and two groups of fanatical teenage girls tried to rip me up .

THE USUAL BAD DAY, JUST TO BE "UP TO DATE" !!

But if they think that this is enough to stop me they're wrong !!

[Lamù, blinking her large eyes] S.. sorry ?!? W.. what want to do ?!?

[Ataru, with trembling angry voice] The only one thing that is able to heal the pain in my heart...


.... [now screaming in a silly way] LADIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES !!

SHOCK !!!

THE ALIEN DIDN'T BELIEVED ON HER EYES...

... BUT THE "WILL OF LIFE" OF HER <<DARLING>> DIDN'T DECREASED AT ALL AFTER ALL OF THAT SORROWS !!

A fast, nervous fly and landed once again in front of him.

[LAMU', SCREAMING] DARLIG....
[ATARU, SCREAMING TOO] NAN-DAAAAAAA ?!?

[Lamù, rather crying] .... WALK ON !!!

[Ataru, blinking her little eyes] Sorry ?!?
[Lamù, among a lots of sighs] Walk on... [sigh]... walk on.... [sigh] D.. do not [sigh] do not stop at nothing [sniff] and noone !! [sigh] J.. just [sigh]... just one thing...
[Ataru, same situation] About ?!?

[LAMU, SCREAMING DESPERATELY] DON'T COME BACK TOO LATE THIS EVENING, WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!

The alien slowly flew away from him, covering her eyes (swollen with tears) with the hands ...

.....

... well, she wanted to leave but Ataru grabbed her by the ankle and then, gently, clinging to her body, forced her to land in front of him.

[Ataru, with strange sight and voice] Are you all right ?!?
[Lamù, still crying] N... no !! [sigh] I feel.. [sigh].... I feel myself so bad that.. [sigh]... that...

[ATARU, WITH SILLY SMILE, VOICE AND SIGHT] DON'T WORRY, I KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER !!




OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOH !!!


This time the scene was slower, so that a large number of people managed to capture it with their phones ...

... and, at the end, they made a thunderous applause from the frame.

All this because ...

.... ATARU HAD JUST KISSED LAMU' ON THE MOUTH (so deeply, so longly) !!

[Ataru, same silly situation] Feel better, right ?!?

Lamù tried to hold back her tears for a while...

... THEN ....


.... A SUDDEN, "DEATLY" HUG !!!


[LAMU', SCREAMING DESPERATELY] WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA H !! DARLING, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE: DON'T CHAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE !!! NEVER CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN GEEEEEEEEEE !! WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!

[Ataru, scratching his head] You really miss something !!


 ... [curtain falls]....


[VOICE OF ATARU] Lamù, sometimes I really don't understeand you !!
[VOICE OF LAMU'] Shut up ! Shut up and kiss me again !!