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Author Topic: KISS ME: chronicle of a hopeless love !!  (Read 3635 times)

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Offline GiovaneDinamitardo

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KISS ME: chronicle of a hopeless love !!
« on: May 16, 2010, 12:11:42 AM »
URUSEI YATSURA, THE UNOFFICIAL 10TH SEASON[/b][/color] (click on this link to read the whole plot of this saga).

"KISS ME: chronicle of a hopeless love" [/size]

CHAPTER ONE: SINGLE MAN, SINGLE MAN.... DESPERADO


Tomobiki, early april.


[XY] Sham poo….

[XY] … I love you !!

[XY] ... BUT YOU HATE ME !!!

[XY] Why ?!?

[XY] ………………………………… SIGH !!![/size][/color]




Elsewhere, meanwhile…

Lots of people in the street was looking at the top of a skyscraper, screaming loudly lost in panic !!
They were right to be worried !!

IN FACT…

IT WAS WRAPPED BY A GREAT COULD OF SMOKE !!!

Inside of it, while a group of firemen were running in…

… TWO NOTORIOUS SISTERS CAME OUT FROM THE CLOUD (with nervous step) !!!

[Sham Poo, with strange voice] Sissy, I Leally don’t undeLstand why…

[LAMU’, FURIOUS] If they ask to me to do a photo service I DO IT !!! If they ask to me to be sexy I DO IT !!! [now screaming] IF THEY ASK TO ME SOMETHING PORN I DON'T DO IT !!!

[Sham Poo, bored and nervous contemporary] SISSY, THEY’VE JUST ASKED TO YOU TO EAT AN ICE ClEAM !![/color]
[LAMU’, STILL FURIOUS] HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT KIND OF ICE CREAAAAAAAM ?!?
[Sham Poo, blinking her large eyes, wondering] Something wLong ?!?
[LAMU', SCREAMING OUT OF HER SOUL] AH! FOR YOU THAT ONE IS A <<NORMAL>> ICE CREAAAAM ?!?
[Sham Poo, back with strange voice] Well, the point is that….. that…. I LIKE IT !
[LAMU’, STILL FURIOUS] YOU PERVERTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED !!!

[SHAM POO, WITH CLEAR VOICE] SISSY, WHAT’S WlONG IN EATING AN ICE ClEAM PUT INTO A TUBULE ?!? YOU HAD JUST TO SQUEEZE IT WITH YOUl HAND (MOVING IT UP-DOWN) AND TO SUCK DEEPLY TO TASTE IT !!!

[LAMU’, SCREAMING OUT OF HER SOUL] THAT’S ENOUUUUUUUUUUGH !!! THIS IS A CLOSED CHAPTER OF MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE !!!

Finally they entered into their dressing room: the alien closed herself into the shower.

[Lamù, still nervous] DAMN !!! THIS IS MY UNLUCKY DAY !!! I FINISHED THE BALSAM !
[Sham Poo, with clear voice] Hey, what’s the pLoblem? Take mine !!

The chinese opened her cabinet…

… AND …



FRUSH !!!

Hearing that strange noise the alien went off from the shower to see what’s happening….

… AND …

…. FOUND HER SISTER LAYING OVER A “SEA” OF ROSELEAFS !!!

[Lamù, with dreamy voice] Ooooooooooooh, Sham Poo !! What that lovely surprise !! [now wondering] Are you able to imagine who could be that….

BUT THE CHINESE DIDN’T SEEMED TO LIKE IT AT ALL !!!

[Sham Poo, so nervous] Sissy, close youLself into the bath: I’ve to call somebody to clean ouL Loom.

...
...

Later, when they were rather exiting from the skyscraper….

[Lamù, still wondering] I believed that you would like a so romantic gift.
[Sham Poo, so nervous] NO !!!

FLUFF !!!!

BOTH THE SISTER WERE OVERHELMED BY A RAIN OF PELOUCHES !!

[Lamù, back with dreamy voice] W…. WOOOOOOOOOOW !!! HOW MUCH THEY’RE SWEETEEEEEEEEEEETS !!!
[Sham Poo, MORE NERVOUS] Take_the_ones_that_you_l ove_the_best !!!
[Lamù, blinking her large eyes] H… hey, really you don’t like neither this kind of surprise ?!?
[Sham Poo, getting furious] NO !!!!

Later, walking on the street….


RUMBLE !!!


[Lamù, so groggy] W… well, this time you could be right: TOO MANY CHOCOLATES HURT SO MUCH IF THEY FALL ON YOU !!!
[Sham Poo, getting furious] ENOUGH_IS_ENOUUUUUUUUUUU UGH !!!

Finally….

… A SUDDEN SCREAM …

… AND ….

[XY] SHAM POOOOOOOOO !!!!!








POW !!!

[Sham Poo, TOP nervous] HAVE-A-NICE-DAY-MOUSSE !!!!

[MOUSSE, WITH AN EYE BLACK AND VIOLET, groaning in pain down to the ground] gh… gh…. I … I suppose that you didn’t liked my gifts ?!?
[Sham Poo, same voice] You’Le Light !!! [NOW SCREAMING] PLUS, I DON’T LIKE YOU AT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAL !!!
[Mousse, now crying] W… WHY ?!? [sigh] Sham Poo… [sigh] …. You… [sigh] … you’re all my life… [sigh] … you’re the reason of my being… [sigh]… you [sniff] YOU’RE MY FIRST THOUGHT WHEN I WAKE UP AND THE LAST ONE BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP !!!
[Sham Poo, SO MUCH DISGUSTED] P…. Please, stop: I’M GETTING DISGUSTED !!!!

The guy rose from the ashes.

[Mousse, still crying] Sh… Sham Poo [SIGH] say me the truth [SIGH] once for all. [now screaming] WHY YOU DON’T LOVE ME AT ALL ?!?
[Sham Poo, now with strange voice] Please, come mole close to me, I’ll whisper it in youL eaL !!!

The guy did it.

IT WAS AN ERROR !!!

IN FACT…


[SHAM POO, SCREAMING OUT OF HER SOUL] THElE’S ANY LEASON; I DON’T LOVE YOU AND THAT’S ALL !!!!
[MOUSSE, NOW DEF, with trembling voice] W… what the fool of joke !!!

[Lamù, blinking her large eyes] Sham Poo, who is he ?
[Sham Poo, with despising voice] Oh, it’s a toLment that follow me since when I was 3 yeaL old !!
[Mousse, now screaming] S… SO, ALL THIS YEARS THAT WE'VE LIVED UNDER THE SAME ROOF, I COUNTED NOTHING FOR YOU ?!? Th… that’s why you’ve ever hurt me !!
[Sham Poo, now screaming] WHAAAAAAAAAAAT ?!? <<I HUlT YOU>> ?!? ALL THIS YEAlS I’VE TlEATED YOU AS A LOlD !!!
[Mousse, still screaming] WHAAAAAAAAAAAT ?!? <<A LORD>> ?!?

[Sham Poo, now with curious voice] Well, whey I had the LeatauLant I’ve always given to you the lightest tuLns of woLk…
[MOUSSE, SCREAMING DESPERATELY] I WORKED FOR ABOUT 20 HOURS EVERY SATURDAY AND SUNDAY AT THE RESTAURANT….[/color]
[Sham Poo, same voice] … I gave you an high salary …
[MOUSSE, SAME VOICE] 100 YEN PER DAY IS AN “HIGH SALARY” ?!?[/color]
[Sham Poo, same voice] … I always pLepeaLed yummy dinneLs foL you …
[MOUSSE, SAME VOICE] HOW CAN YOU CALL <<YUMMY DINNERS>> THE GRAIN FOR CHICKENS ??[/color]
[Sham Poo, same voice] … I gave you a decent environment…
[MOUSSE, SAME VOICE] AN HEN-HOUSE FOR YOU IS A <<DECENT ENVIRONMENT>> ?!?[/color]

[Lamù, so shocked] Sh.. Sham Poo, w... what the hell he's saying ?!? <<Grain for chickens>> ?!? <<Hen-house>> ?!?
[Sham Poo, now with clear voice] Oh, I feel that you'Le not so much experienced about our cuLses: you've to know that when he gets wet with cold wateL tuLns into a funny duck !!
[LAMU', TOP SHOCKED] S... so... for you.... HE WAS JUST LIKE A PET ?!?
[Sham Poo, now with sweet voice and a strange smile] Oh well, I've to admit: I TOOK SOME SHOlTCUTS WITH HIM SOMETIMES !!!

[Mousse, now back crying] W… worst…. YOU’VE FORGOTTEN THAT TODAY IT’S MY BIRTHDAY !!![/color]
[Sham Poo, now with strange voice] Oh, you’Le Light !! [now with evil voice and sight] PLEASE, COME MOlE CLOSE TO ME !!! I’LL GIVE YOU MY GIFT !!!

He did it…

IT WAS AN ERROR !!!

IN FACT…







POW !!!

[Lamù, flying and scanning the horizon] I don’t understand where he finished !!
[Sham Poo, with despising voice] I-HOPE-TO-HELL !!!

..
..
..
..

Evening.
Late evening.
Night.
Noises coming from a part of Tomobiki’s park.
Noises of throwned stons.
SOMEONE IS THROWING STONES AGAINST A POSTER !!

[MOUSSE, FURIOUS] I HATE YOU ! I HATE YOU ! I HATE YOU ! I HATE YOU ! I HATE YOU ! I HATE YOU ! I  …..




[MOUSSE, NOW CRYING] OH NOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOO ! Sham Poo [sigh] I love you so much that [sigh].. that [sigh]… THAT I’M NOT ABLE TO HATE YOU !! WAHAAAAAAAAAH !!!

He cleaned with his naked hands a poster of her and begun to kiss it gently.

[Mousse, crying and kissing the poster] Poor !!! [sigh] I.. [sigh] I hurt you ?!? [sigh] forgive me [sigh] forgive me [sniff] I won’t do it anymore !!!

He watched once more his horologe.
23:56

[Mousse, crying desperately] It's over. [Sigh] My birthday [sigh] has gone away [sigh] and she won’t never come here [sigh] to sing to me [sniff] “happy birthday”. [NOW SCREAMING] THAT’S ENOUUUUUUUUGH !!!
I CANNOT CONTINUE IN THIS WAY !!!

He wrote something in a paper...

… AND …


[…. OH MY GOD !!!]

… H.. HE TOOK AN HEAVY ANVIL IN HIS HANDS…

… AND WALKED SO CLOSE TO THE BRIDGE OVER A LITTLE TROUBLE WATER..

Watched a bit the water flowing…

… AND ….

[Mousse, now crying so much] I… [sigh] I only hope that… [sigh] that the pain [sigh] that the hell will give me [sigh] will be so strong and terrible [sniff] that I forget you !!!

He climbed on the parapet of the bridge...

… took a great breath with closed eyes…

… AND …

[Mousse, with COLD voice and closed eye] One…. Two….

SUDDENLY…..

…. A SWEET VOICE !!!

[XX] Mousse !!

The guy rose his sight…

…  AND ...




OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH !!




FOUND SHAM POO, SIT AT THE TOP OF A STREETLAMP !!


She was wearing a light and short cloth (SO MUCH HOT), who had a breathtaking neckline and let her legs totally naked.
A sudden windblast caressed her long hairs: for some neverending seconds they floated on the air.
The atomic bomb that destroyed Hiroshima had less power that the Chinese, sweet and sexy like never seen before that night.
SHE REALLY SEEMED A LITTLE ANGEL !!


SHE LET FALL A LIGHT PACK.


[SHAM POO, SWEET LIKE NEVER SEEN BEFORE] HAPPY BIlTHDAY MOUSSE !!!



… then disappeared on the darkness.

The guy immediately took it on his hands and hugged (so strictly) for a long time.

[Mousse, so touched] Sham Poo [sigh]… I knew that… [sigh] you couldn’t forget my birthday !!

So curious he opened immediately that pack…


… AND ….




[GH.. GH… GH…]




[W…. WHAT THE FOOL OF GIFT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]




[H… HEY, YOU MORON: REALLY YOU HAVN’T UNDERSTOOD THE MEANING OF THAT GIFT ?!?]
[/color]

[Mousse, with dreamy voice] Ooooooh, thank you my love: I WAS REALLY NEEDING A CHORD TO TRAIN ME INTO MARTIALS ARTS !!![/color] [now wondering] … ehm… what is this paper ?!? I’m not able to understand its meaning.

WAS IN THAT MOMENT THAT, SUDDENLY….

BONK !!!

.. SOMEONE LANDED ON HIS HEAD !!!

[RYOGA, WITH A GREAT SMILE and closed eyes] MOUSSE, OLD FRIEND OF MINE !!! It’s a real piece of luck to land on you !!! YOU’RE SO SOFT !!!
[MOUSSE, SO NERVOUS] YOU-ARE-NOT-MY-FRIEND !!!
[Ryoga, now on the ground, wondering] … ehm … what the fool are you doing here in Nagasaki ?
[Mousse, scratching his head] N…. <<NAGASAKI>> ?!? [now worried] OH MY GOD !!! I MUST BE IN THE WRONG CITY !!! THIS IS TOMOBIKI-CHO !!
[Ryoga, now rather crying] D.. don’t worry…. [sigh] … I’ll try again to find the right way to…
[Mousse, now wondering too] … ehm … by the way, Ryoga: could you help me ?!? Sham Poo made me this gift and left me this paper but I’m not able to understand the meaning of this “instructions”

Ryoga red them a bit….

…. AND LET FALL ON THE GROUND HIS BACKPACK.


IT WAS AN ERROR !!!

IN FACT….

….  A LITTLE SCROLL ROLLED AWAY !!!

While he was doing a mysterious activity with the chord, Mousse took it on his hands…

… AND BEGUN TO READ IT !!!

[Mousse, mumbling to himself] Oh my God !!! OH-MY-GOD !!! THIS…. THIS IS REALLY A TERRIBLE WEAPON !!! [/color][/size]WHAT IF IT FALLS ON THE WRONG HANDS….

Suddenly...

[RYOGA, STANDING IN A THRIUMPHAL POSE] TA-DAAAAAAAAAH ! MOUNTED !!!

FINALLY MOUSSE <<REALIZED>> !!!

[Ryoga, with a strange smile and laught] You don’t have to say “thank you” to me. Sayonaraaaaa [and disappeared on the darkness]
[MOUSSE, SCREAMING OUT OF HIS SOUL] SH... SHAM POO !!! YOU DAMNEEEEEEEEEED !!


... [ehm] ...



Yet the “instructions” were so clear.

IN FACT….

RYOGA HAS MADE A PERFECT SLIPKNOT AND THEN BOUNDED IT TO THE ANVIL !!!!



This time was really too much !!

Mousse took the anvil…

… PUT HIS NECK INSIDE THE SLIPKNOT…

…. climbed again on the parapet of the bridge...

… AND, WITH A GREAT JUMP….


[MOUSSE, SCREAMING DESPERATELY] SHAM POOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!

…………………….
…………………
………………
……………
…………
………
……




BONK !!!


[B….. <<BONK>> ?!? N… NOT <<SPLASH>> ?!?]

[A FURIOUS VOICE] YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU !!!
[Mousse, groaning in pain] gh.. gh… Th… THIS IS HELL ?!?

Under his feets….

…. A HUGE TIGER-STRIPPERED OX WAS LAYING ON THE GROUND, SWOONED, WITH AN ENORMOUS LUMP ON HIS HEAD !!!

So close to it, a cool girl with long red hairs was nervously wearing a sexy pink bikini...

... BUT WAS ALSO CHARGING UP AN HEAVY RPG GUN !!


[RAN, SCREAMING OUT OF HER SOUL] YOU STUPID !!! THE TIME THAT I COULD MAKE LOV.... THAT I COULD HAVE A "ROMANITC TETE-A-TETE" WITH MY BOYFRIEND YOU ARRIVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING ?!?[/size][/color]

TAKE THIS [PooooooooW]
… AND THIS [PooooooW]
… AND THIS [PooooooW]
… AND THIS [PooooooW]
… AND THIS [PooooooW]
… AND THIS [PooooooW]
… and ….



Mmmmmmmh...

Curious and funny physical phenomenon.

MOUSSE WAS SO MUCH SCARED THAT WAS ABLE TO RUN OVER THE WATER WITHOUT GETTING WET !!!

...
...
...


Elsewhere, meanwhile….

Ryoga really liked his wandering way of life, he needed so few to live: in his backpack had just essentials things.

BUT THAT EVENING…

… when he was separating the dirty clothes from the clean ones….


[RYOGA, SCREAMING LOST IN PANIC] OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD !!! WHAT THAT UNFORGIVABLE ERROOOOOOOOORRRRRRRR !!![/size][/color]




Elsewhere, meanwhile….

[Mousse, crying desperately] Th… that’s terrible !!!

I’M NOT ABLE NEITHER TO SUICIDE ME !!

WAHAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA H !!!


I’M SO DEPRESSED THAT…. THAT….[/size][/color]

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...



KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM !!!

[XX+XY, LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!!!


Into a notorious white mansion two guys hugged themselves more strictly into their (enormous) bed !!

[LAMU’, with trembling voice] D… darling w… what happened ?!?
[ATARU, with trembling voice too] An… an explosion !!! AN NOT SO FAR FROM HERE !!
[Lamù, same voice] DARLING I'M SCARED: WHAT IF IT WAS AN ATTEMPT ?!?
[Ataru, same voice] S… summon your UFO, Lamù: in orbit we’ll be safe !!!
[Lamù, same voice] You’re right, you’re right !! JUST LET ME WEAR AGAIN MY BIKINI AND WE’LL RUNAWAY ON SPACE !!!




Elsewhere, meanwhile….

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM !!!

[XX+XY, LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!!!


Into a notorious mansion, greatest than the other one, two guys hugged themselves more strictly into their bed !!

[OYUKI, lost in panic with trembling voice] T... Titty I... I’m scared !!!
[SHUTARO, "idem"] D… don’t worry Oyuki: y... you’re safe here !! In this case our army mobilize itself immediately [now with strange voice] But I’m wondering what happened.


[SHINGO, dressed as a ninja, SUDDENLY APPEARED] YOUNG MASTER, SOMEHOW EXPLODED NOT SO FAR FROM HERE, I THINK INTO TOMOBIKI’S PARK !![/size][/color]

[OYUKI, SCREAMING LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!! [and covered herself with the sheet]

POW !!!

[SHUTARO, STILL HOLDING A HUGE HAMMER, BREATHING LOUDLY] YOU DAMNED, WHAT THE FOOL WERE YOU DOING UNDER OUR BED ?!?
[Shingo, WITH A BIG LUMP ON HIS HEAD and trembling voice] Y… young master, I.. I’m you personal bodyguard !!! The <<guardian of the garden>> must protect his master any minute of the day !!
[SHUTARO, FURIOUS] WHEN I’M WITH OYUKI I DON’T WANNA ANYBODY INTO MY BEDROOM !!!
[Shingo, still with trembling voice] Y… young master, I… I managed to don’t disturb your sleep !! H… however, you…. YOU WEREN’T SLEEPING AT ALL !!![/color]

POW !!!

[SHUTARO, STILL FURIOUS] IS-FOR-THIS-FACT-THAT-I-DON’T-WANNA-ANYBODY-INTO-MY-BEDROOM-WHEN-I-AM-WITH-OYUKI !!!!




Elsewhere, meanwhile….

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM !!!

[XX+XY, LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!!!



Into a room of Tomobiki’s hospital a wonderful and gorgeous girl jumped on the bed, trying to protect a guy that, helpless, was still laying.

[KANEDA, with feeble voice] R.. runaway my <<life>> !! Go away from here !!
[BENTEN, SCREAMING AND CRYING] NEVER ! NEVER ! NEVER !! [sigh] I .. [sigh] I won’t lose you [sigh] another time !! [sniff]

Kaneda’s tumor has been removed with success but the rehabilitation was so long an painful, that’s why he was always so much feeble.
That evening, for exaple, it would be for him an enormous effort just to point a pin on the butter.
His body was totally hidden under the sheet, he could just move a bit his head.

[Kaneda, groaning in pain] gh.. gh… y… your chain hurt me !!
[Benten, now so worried] F… forgive me, forgive me !!!

She got off from the bed…

... hugged him sweetly a bit...

… AND BEGUN TO CARESS HIS HAND, GENTLY!!!









[… ehm …]




[Benten, back crying] P… poor Kaneda ! [sigh] W.. what the hell of [sigh] medicines [sigh] are they giving to you ?[sigh] Your fingers… [sniff] YOUR FINGERS HAVE BECAME HUGE !!![/color]



[….. A-hem … ]




[Benten, now with strange, curisous voice] It’s strange: MORE THAN I CARESS YOUR HAND, MORE YOUR FINGER IS GETTING HARDER !! [/color]




[… OH MY GooooooooooooooD …. ]




[Kaneda] Benten….
[Benten] Nan-da ?!?
[Kaneda, with strange voice] EXACTLY ……… WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?!?
[Benten, blinking her beautiful eyes, so confused] W… well, I’m caressing your hand, of course.

Groaning in pain, the body of Kaneda moved under the sheets….

… AND (after an incredible effort)…



[Kaneda, with clear voice] BENTEN, THIS IS MY RIGHT HAND AND THIS IS MY LEFT HAND !!! THE FOOL YOU’RE CARESSING IS…..[/size]

[BENTEN, TOTALLY RED IN FACE, LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!!!!!

[Kaneda, with dreamy voice] TH… THANKS GOD !!! NOW I KNOW THAT I’M REALLY HEALED !![/color]

POW !!!

[BENTEN, FURIOUS, BREATHING LOUDLY, WITH A HUGE HAMMER ON HER HANDS] YOU PERVERTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEED !!!!
[Kaneda, back groaning in pain, WITH A BIG LUMP ON THE HEAD] Tr… truthfully, you were the first to begin !!!






Elsewhere, meanwhile….

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM !!!

[XX+XY, LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!!!



Into a notorious gymnasium a father was trying to protect her daughter.

[Nabiki, lost in panic] DADDY I’M SCARED !!!
[Suon, with trembling voice] D.. don’t worry, my dear !! S… soon everything will end !! I HOPE THAT EVERYTHING WILL END SOON !!!
[HAPPOSAI, SUDDENLY APPEARED] NABIKIIIIIIIIIIII !!! I’M SCARED TOO !!!

POW !!!


[Happosai, WITH A BIG LUMP ON HIS HEAD] W… what the hell of respect !!!
[Nabiki, FURIOUS, WITH A HUGE HAMMER ON HER HANDS] NEVER TRY ONCE MORE TO FEEL MY TITS !!!

SUDDENLY….

… a door slided …

… AND …

[Kasumi, so scared] DADDY, AKANE IS MISSING !!![/color]

SUDDENLY….

… another door slided…

… AND ….

[Genma, so worried] SUON, HAVE YOU SEEN RANMA ?!? I'M NOT ABLE TO FIND HIM ANYWHERE !!![/color]

THE MAN REALIZED IMMEDIATELY WHAT THE HELL WAS HAPPENING !!!





[SUON, SCREAMING OUT OF HIS SOUL] RANMAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!! I FORBID TO DO THE PIG WITH AKANE INTO MY HOUUUUUUUUUUUUSE !!!





Elsewhere, meanwhile….

… under the roof of the same house….

… TWO GUYS (both naked) WERE GETTING SERIOUSLY SCARED !!

[Ranma, with trembling voice] D... damned explosions, they make us discovered !!
[Akane, with trembling voice too] R…. Ranma, have you seen my pajama ?!?
[Ranma, so embarrassed] … ehm …. Maybe is this one ?!?
[Akane, now nervous] RANMA, YOU STUPID !!! REALLY YOU NEEDED TO RIP OFF MY PAJAMA ?!?
[Ranma, furious too] OOOOH ! WHO WAS THE “HORMONAL STORM” THAT RIPPED OFF MY CLOTHES FIRST ?!?

Akane would say something worse…

… but she stumbled suddenly !!!

When she rose up…

[Akane, with clear voice] Pi-CHAN !!!

The funny little black pig came back once again.
The girl took on her hands…
… and begun to hug it gently.

[Akane, crying] Poor Pi-Chan !!! Are you scared too ?!?
[Ranma, furious] AKANE !! I FORBID TO TOUCH THAT DIRTY PIG RIGHT NOW THAT YOUR’RE NAKED !!
[Akane, blinking her eyes] What ?!? Why ?!? THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THAT HE SEES ME NAKED !!
[RANMA, SHOCKED] WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ?!?
[Akane, now angry] In summertime, when I go to sleep, I prefere to stay naked !! However, what’s wrong if I carry him with me on the bed ?!? [now screaming] ARE YOU JEALOUS WITH A LITTLE PIG TOO ?!? [now wondering] Even if… even if… WELL, SOMETIMES HE HURT ME A BIT WITH HIS “SHARP LITTLE BONES” but….

RANMA GOT FURIOUS !!

GRABBED Pi-CHAN IN ANGER…

… AND RUNAWAY (still naked)

[Akane, screaming] H… HEY ! HEY !!! DON’T LEAVE ME IN THIS WAY !!! BRING ME SOMETHING TO WEAAAAAAAAR !!!




Elsewhere, meanwhile…

SPLASH !!!

Ranma throwed Pi-Chan into the HOT water…

… AND RYOGA (naked too) CAME BACK TO HIS HUMAN FORM !!!

Blinded by the wrath, Ranma grabbed Ryoga by his hairs, watching straight in his eyes

[RANMA, WITH WRATH] REALLY-YOU-HURT-AKANE-WITH-YOUR-<<FIFTH-PAW>> ?!?
[Ryoga, so scared] This is not the right moment to moralize !! I really need your help !!
[Ranma, now so surprised] What ?! Why ?!?
[Ryoga, getting more scared] SOMEBODY STOLED ME THE SECRET OF A TERRIBLE WEAPON !! ALL THE NATION IS IN DANGER !!
[Ranma, so shocked ] W… what ?!? Ryoga, what the fool are you saying ?!?

[RYOGA, LOST IN PANIC] RANMA, WHAT IF THAT SECRET HAS FELT INTO THE WRONG HANDS ALL THE JAPAINESE ISLANDS IS LIKELY TO SINK INTO THE SEA IN JUST ONE NIGHT LIKE ATLANTIS !!!

[Ranma, lost in panic too] WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ?!?


(To be continued)
« Last Edit: January 27, 2012, 11:09:47 AM by GiovaneDinamitardo »

Offline gatulon

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Re: KISS ME !!
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2010, 04:57:05 PM »
 :o

TOO MUCH FUNNY !!!

 :*) :*)

TOO MUCH PERVERTED !! 

 ;D ;D ;D

Offline GiovaneDinamitardo

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Re: KISS ME !!
« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2010, 11:56:22 PM »
URUSEI YATSURA, THE UNOFFICIAL 10TH SEASON[/b][/color] (click on this link to read the whole plot of this saga).

"KISS ME: chronicle of a hopeless love"

CHAPTER TWO: YOU'RE NOT SO BAD !


Tomobiki, early april.

Inside the bathroom of the Tendo's Indiscriminate fighting school two notorious guys, already scared due to the severals explosions that shaked (not just) Tomobiki-cho, were realizing the true nature of the huge danger that was standing above all the nation !!!

[Ranma, getting worried] Ryoga, I don't like at all the mistery: explain to me, with few easy words, what you mean when you remember the destiny of Atlantis

[RYOGA, WITH CLEAR VOICE] SHINSI-HOKO-DAN !!!

[Ranma, now wondering] What ? That is the technique that transforms the depression of the human spirit in destructive energy, right ?
[Ryoga, same voice] I realize that when I lost the parchment explaining the secrets of this technique.
[Ranma, getting scared] RYOGA, YOU STUPID !! What if it falls into the wrong hands...
[RYOGA, LOST IN PANIC] IT'S ALREADY INTO THE WRONG HANDS !!! IT FELL PREY OF THE MOST DEPRESSED BEING OF THE WHOLE UNIVERSE !!
[Ranma, rattling so much] R.. Ryoga, d.... don't joke !! Who can be more depressed than you in this world?
[Ryoga, with loud, grave voice] I think I lost the parchment when I put my backpack on the floor, it means when I helped Mousse to... [ehm] ... "assemble" the birthday's gift that made him Sham Poo!
[Ranma, so shocked] What ? Sham Poo gave a gift to Mousse ?
[Ryoga, with clear voice] At first I thought of a joke but when I heard the explosion I realized that the thing was damned serious! We must meet and stop him, otherwise ...

At those words, Ramna become pensive....

... AND ...

.... A SUDDEN RUN !!

[Ranma, running out from the bathroom, SCREAMING] MOUSSE !!! I HAVE TO FIND HIM !!
[RYOGA, GETTING WORRIED] H... HEY ! HEY !! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING ? MOST OF ALL, AT LEAST LEND ME A PAIR OF PANTS !!

Ryoga came out (naked) from the bath...

... opened the sliding door ...


... AND ...

[Ryoga, still worried] RANNMA, PLEASE, LEND ME A DRESS OR I WILL GET EXCHANGED FOR A MANIAC !!!

IN THAT MEANTIME...

... another door in front of him slided nervously...




... AND ...


[AKANE, FURIOUS] RANMA, HOW LONG DO YOU TAKE TO BRING ME A PAJAMA ?!?










SHOCK !!!!











AKANE AND RYOGA WERE FACE TO FACE ...

... BOTH TOTALLY NAKEDS !!



WAS IN THAT MOMENT THAT ANOTHER DOOR SLIDED (with an heavy thump)...



... AND ...


[SUON, FURIOUS TOO] RANMAAAAAA, THIS IS THE LAST WARNING !! COME OUT IMMEDIATELY, OTHERWHISE...










BIG SHOCK !!!!









HE FOUND HER DAUGTHER TOTALLY NAKED WITH THE "NATURAL" FOE (in the same conditions) OF HER PROMISED HUSBAND !!


THAT NIGHT SUON TENDO RISKED SERIOUSLY AN HEART ATTACK IN FRONT OF THAT <<SHOW>> !!!

[Akane, lost in panic, TOTALLY RED IN FACE, with trembling voice] D... d.. daddy, th.. th... this is not how it seems !! I... I can... I can explain you everything !
[Ryoga, same voice and situation] gh... gh... I.. I too can explain. P... please, l.. listen to me: we're all adults and vaccinated, so...

[SUON, BACK FURIOUS] BEFORE_I_SERIOUSLY_VACCINES_YOU, MAKE YOU DISAPPEARING FROM MY SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT !!

Ryoga didn't need to repeat twice: with few, long and funny jumps (never minding the fact of being naked) emerged from the bathroom's window and disappeared into the night.

BUT SOMEONE REMAINED IN TROUBLE DEEP !!


[Akane, still lost in panic] C... calm daddy, calm: there is a misunderstanding! I can.. [getting more scared] I can explain you everything! [more scared] Daddy, please, don't look like that! [SO MUCH SCARED] Daddy, are you listening to me ? [SCREAMING DESPERATELY] DADDY, WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO TO ME ?!? [SCREAMING OUT OF HER SOUL] DADDY, NO ! NO ! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEELP !!!!


.......
......
.....
....
...
..


Elsewhere, meanwhile...

It was for some time that Ranma was wandering the streets of Tokyo looking for his man when, thanks to a stroke of luck, found Mousse sitting on a bench.
He seemed totally absent, careless about the great fires that reddened the night and about the dreadful turmoil generated by the incessant parade of sirens of ambulances, firefighters, police and the cries of the crowd, still lost in the panic.
For a moment stood behind a streetlamp, staring his enemy in hiding.

[Ranma, mumbling to himself] Damn, he's totally numb! He really might be the "maker" of the explosions ! I absolutely must do something to stop it !

IN FACT...

... after few seconds...

... a martial scream shook Mousse from his torpor: opposite him there was Ranma, posing aggressive.

[RANMA, WITH CLEAR VOICE] HOLD YOURSELF WHERE YOU'RE, MOUSSE: WE MUST TALK !

Mousse rose his sight a bit...

... AND...


[MOUSSE, CRYING SO MUCH] R.. Ranma [sigh], you too wanna hurt me [sigh]? [NOW SCREAMING DESPERATELY] WAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAH !!! WHYYYYYYYYYYY ?!? WHAT I'VE DONE WRONG TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU ?!?

WAS IN THAT MOMENT THAT THE SIGHT OF RANMA WAS DAZZLED BY A BLINDING LIGHT COMING FROM THE SKY !!!

Few seconds left....

... AND ...





KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM !!!

...

...

...

...

...

...

...


A long time after someone, with the top of a stick, touched something that remembered so far a human being.

[Ryoga, <<back to decence>>, with clear voice] He hit you full, right ?
[RANMA, LAYING IN A SILLY POSE, TOTALLY CARBONIZED] gh.. gh... Y... you were right: HE'S SO MUCH DEPRESSED, that column of energy had a devastating power!

Groaning in pain, Ranma stood up (cleaning his dress from the burnings).

[Ranma, now wondering] What we can do to stop this threat ?
[Ryoga, now with a wonderful smile] Oh, it's easy: WE MUST RECOVER HIS MORAL !!!
[Ranma, now with clear voice] What ? Are you sure that it needs so few to...
[Ryoga, with clear voice] Look: the situation is totally out of control but the positive way is greater than the negative. I think that Mousse has read only the surface of the parchment, that's why he's unable to control the enormous power that is able to raise (this explains the explosions) but, at the same time, he needs just a happy event to lose forever the ability to become a massive destruction's weapon.
[Ranma, now mumbling] Mmmmmmmh..... <<A HAPPY EVENT>> ..... what the hell of...
[Ryoga, now with strange voice] R... Ranma, listent to me: it's better that you come back home.
[Ranma, so confused, now turned in front of Ryoga] What ? Why ?
[Ryoga, TOTALLY RED IN FACE, with trembling voice] W... well, th.. the point is that... that... the father of Akane...

SHOCK !!!

[RANMA, TOP WORRIED] OH MY GOD !! AKANE !! I WAS FORGETTING ABOUT HER !!

A SUDDEN RUN

[RYOGA, SCREAMING DESPERATELY] HEY, HEY, YOU STUPID: WHERE ARE YOU RUNNING ? AT LEAST, FIRST LISTEN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!

Too late.

Regardless of all the hell that was still disturbing Tokyo Ranma , with a great race, returned Tendo's home ...

... AND ...

... FOUND SUON STANDING AT THE MAIN DOOR !!!

"Oh noooooooooo", was his thought, "now he'll scold me so much"


THE MAN DID A DEEP BOW IN FRONT OF HIM !!!


... AND ...


[Suon, with grave voie] RANMA, I THOUGHT BAD ABOUT YOU !

I WAS WRONG !!!

PLEASE, FORGIVE ME !!!

[Ranma, so confused, blinking his eyes] A... about ?

The man approached him gently...

... AND ...

[Suon, now whispering to Ranma's ear]... but if Akane did what she did a little must also be also your fault. Please, be more polite and considerate with her now. MAYBE YOU ARE STILL IN TIME!

Really Ranma wanted to ask for more explenation but Soun disappeared misteriously.

A few step away...

... AND ...

[XX, with gentle voice] RANMA, WE MUST SPEAK !!
[Ranma, back confused] KASUMI !!!
[Kasumi, same voice] Look: I don't subcribe at all the hell that my sister did to you...
[Ranma, same situation] Hey, what the fool...

[Kasumi, now whispering to Ranma's ear]... but if Akane did what she did a little must also be also your fault. Please, be more polite and considerate with her now. MAYBE YOU ARE STILL IN TIME!

Really Ranma wanted to ask for more explenation but Kasumi disappeared into the bathroom, involved into a mysterious activity.

A few step away...

... AND ....

[XY + XY, WITH COLD VOICE] RANMA, WE MUST SPEAK !!!
[Ranma, TOP CONFUSED] DADDY !!! HAPPOSAI !!! YOU TOO ?!? SO, WHAT THE FOOL IS HAPPENING THIS NIGHT INTO THIS MAD HOUSE ?!?

The father took his soon under his arm...

... AND ...


[Genma, with cold voice] Ranma, you have to be strong !!
[Ranma, blinking his eyes] What ? Why ?
[GENMA, SAME VOICE] AKANE HAS DECORATED YOUR HEAD !!!

Totally lost in panic, Ranma touched his head hurriedly

[Ranma, TOP CONFUSED] gh.. gh... w.. what she would do to me ?

[HAPPOSAY, WITH A FUNNY AND STUPID SMILE, SCREAMING] RANMA, DO YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD "HORNED" ?!?
[GENMA, FURIOUS] WAS TO NEED TO SCREAM ?
[HAPPOSAY, FURIOUS TOO] YOU: YOU NEVER EXPLAINED ANYTHING TO YOUR SON IN HIS CHILDHOOD ?!?

Lost any hope of reasoning with them seriously, Ranma approached the bedrook of Akane...

... opened gently the door ...

... AND ...















POW !!!




... WAS HIT IN HIS FACE BY AN IRON !!!

[Kasumi, so angry] Akane, this is unright !! Ranma is foreign to all of this !
[Akane, crying so much] THAT'S NOT TRUEEEEEEEEEEEEE !! WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!



... [ehm] ...




Akane was lying face down on his bed ...

... she was wearing only the jacket of her pajama ...

... AND NOTHING ELSE !!!




... [A-ehm] ...




... BECAUSE HER ASS WAS BURNING SO MUCH (<<REALLY>> SO MUCH !!!)

She was crying desperately due to the big pain, like a little child.

Her sister Nabiki was sit in the bed too, so close to her.

[Nabiki, with curious expression and voice] Well, let me tell you: you're really a great "phenomenon", little sister !!! HAVING SEX WITH YOUR FIANCE'S WORST ENEMY IN OUR HOUSE !! WITH DAD AND RANMA INSIDE !!!
[Akane, still crying] THAT'S NOT TRUEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!! WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !! WHY NOBODY BELIEVES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ?!? WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!!
[Nabiki, now rather with despising voice] Oh, you're right, you're right: HE WAS HERE 'COS' YOU WANTED TO SHOW HIM YOUR COLLECTION OF BUTTERFLY, RIGHT ?!?

Groaning in pain, Ranma stood up.

[Ranma, still groggy] Kasumi, please, explain to me what the hell happened when I was missing !
[Kasumi, rather whispering] Oh well.... daddy surprised Akane with Ryoga in.... [ehm] .... <<improper behavior>>, so..... DADDY SPANKED HER LONGLY AND HARDLY !!! Now forgive me if I don't do these cold packs to her she risks seriously to get big sores on her skin.

"Oh my God", was the thought of Ranma, now rattling so much: "is better to keep my mouth shut about how things really went: in these cases, silence is golden".

Inwardly, Akane was smoldering anger and revenge.

"I'll make you pay, Ranma", was her thought: "I'll make you pay very, very much"!

...
...
...

The day after both Rannma and Ryoga were walking on a crowdy street.

[Ryoga, so curious]  So what the fool happened yesterday night into Tendo's house ?
[Ranma, with closed eyes and evil voice] FORGET !! [now wondering, with curious sight and voice] Not so far you were talking about an happy event to "rescue" the moral of Mousse: what you were meaning ?
[Ryoga, with clear voice] I THINK THAT JUST A DATE WITH SHAM POO COULD RISE HIM FROM THE ABYSS WERE HE FELT !!
[Ranma, with grave voice] Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhm, it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than to convince the chinese to get a date with him !!
[Ryoga, now with clear voice] That's why I thought to you. Look: we must give a try and you're the only one that could persuade Sham Poo.

Flattered on his pride Ranma was convinced so they moved to the studios where the Chinese had to realize a photo service.

Inside the lodge, a genlte hostess stopped the two guys.

[hostess, with gentle voice] I realize that you're great fans of Sham Poo-Chan but, really, I cannot let you go.
[Ryoga, with strange gentle voice] Truly he's so much more than just a fan.
[hostess, so troubled] What ?!? What are you talking about ?

[RANMA, WITH CLEAR VOICE] PLEASE, TELL TO SHAM POO THAT HER HUSBAND HAS URGENT NEED TO TALK WITH HER !!

[hostess, SHOCKED] H... <<HUSBAND>> ?!? R... REALLY YOU'RE HER HUSBAND ?

[Ranma, <<serious>>] Of course !

The girl's reaction was totally unexpected: surprising the boys, took them by the hand and led them in a gallop in an elevator.
When the door slided...

[hostess, rather crying] THANKS, THANK YOU FOR COMING HERE !!! GOD SENDS YOU !!
[Ranma, so troubled] What ? Why ?
[hostess, same situation] PLEASE, TRY TO CONVINCE YOUR WIFE TO DON'T GET ANGRY ANYMORE IN THAT WAY !! SHE SCARES ME !! REALLY: SHE SCARES ME SO MUCH !!!

Totally confused, Ranma went off the elevator when it arrived...

... recognized the voice of the chinese ....

... opened a door ...

... AND ....



[RANMA, WITH A WONDERFUL SWEET SMILE] SHAM POO, SWEET LITTLE WIFE OF MINE !!







POW !!!





RANMA FELT DOWN TO THE GROUND WITH AN EYE BLACK AND VIOLET, HIT BY AN HEAVY ASHTRAY !!

Groaning in pain, he tried to rise up....

... AND ...

[Ranma, still groggy] Sh.. Sham Poo... what the hell is troubling you in this way ?!?








BONK !!!





BOTH RYOGA AND RANMA WERE HIT BY A TABLE !!!

[Ranma, BLEEDING ON HIS NOSE, groaning in pain] Th.. that's enough, Ryoga: today is not the right day to talk with her !!
[Ryoga, WITH BOTH HIS EYES BLACK AND VIOLET] Y... you're right.


In that meantime, the chinese was still screaming, shooting blindly and wildly.

[SHAM POO, FURIOUS] I WANNA HAVE THE HEAD OF THE ONE WHO SAID ABOUT THIS FALSITY OVEl A SILVEl PLATE AND I WANNA IT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW !!!
[art director, groaning in pain] P... please, try to ratiocinate: this is still a great (AND FREE) advertising, so...

[SHAM POO, FURIOUS, SCREAMING OUT OF HER SOUL] WHAT THE HELL OF "ADVElTISING"!!! I DON'T NEED ANYTHING LIKE THIIIIIIIIIIIS: I'VE NEVEl lECOSTlUED MY BlEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST!!!!

...
...

After heavy medications both the guys rebegun to wander into Tokyo' streets, mumbling so much.

[Ranma, so much depressed] Sham Poo didn't even let me speak! Oh no, now we're really in trouble deep: if we don't rescue the moral of that stupid we risk reriously to become food for fish! Damn, can we have no alternative?

HEARING THOSE WORDS, RYOGA HELD HIS STEPS...

.... TOOK THE FACE OF RANMA WITH HIS RIGHT HAND...

.... AND BEGUN TO LOOK AT HIM IN A STRANGE WAY !!!

[Ranma, with trembling voice] R... Ryoga, what the fool are you plotting ?



[RYOGA, WITH CLEAR VOICE] YOU ARE NOT SO BAD !!



[RANMA, LOST IN PANIC] R... RYOGA, THE LACK OF SEX DROVE YOU CRAZY ?!?
[RYOGA, NOW FURIOUS]... AND WHO TOLD TO YOU THAT I NEVER HAD SEX ?!?
[Ranma, now with a stupid smile and voice] HEY, SO YOU WITH THE LITTLE AKARI HAVE ALREADY REACHED <<LETTER C>> ?!?


[NOTE TO READER: The Japanese guys prefere to speak in code when are talking about their own sexual activity; "A" means "kisses", "B" stands for "petting", "C" for "full sexual intercourse" - Source: manga "Orange Road"]








POW !!!






Elsewhere, meanwhile....


... a notorious UFO was flying silently over Tokyo' sky.

INSIDE OF IT....

... many people would pay astonishing figures to peep what was happening inside.

IN FACT...

... LAMU' WAS HAVING A RELAXING BATH IN FRONT OF A PICTURE WINDOW !!!

A complex system of mirrors reflected on the glass that the image of the landscape below.

[Lamù, talking to herself] Danm, those blasts have shattered all the windows of my house!
Well, not all evil is a silver lining: it was a long time since I came here to bathe. Besides, in this way, I can enjoy this view without fear of being spied on by some maniac!


......
.....
....
...
..






SPLAT !!!


[LAMU', SCREAMING, LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEK !!!!!!!!

The alien made a big jump in the pool and instinctively covered herself with the hands.

IN FRONT OF HER...

.... RANMA HAD JUST SQUASHED ON THE GLASS !!!








VOLTS !!

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP !!!!






Later (still inside the UFO)....

[Ranma, groaning in pain] AHI !!
[Lamù, so angry] Hold !
[Ranma, groaning in pain] AHIO !!
[Lamù, so angry] Hold !
[Ranma, screaming in pain] AHIA !!
[Lamù, NOW FURIOUS] I SAID <<HOOOOOOOOOOOLD>>, YOU DANMEND MANIAAAAAAAC !! IF YOU KEEP MOVING I CANNOT CURE THE BURNS !!!
[Ranma, still lost in pain] As I was saying, I'm not a maniac: Ryoga gave me a great kick on...
[Lamù, still angry] I don't care.
[Ranma, now with clear voice] In any case is really a piece of luck to have meet you.
[Lamù, blinking her large eyes, so curious] What ? What do you mean ?
[Ranma, same voice] Well, you're the sister of Sham Poo, right ?
[Lamù, same situation] Of course.
[Ranma, now with grave voice] MAYBE YOU CAN CONVINCE HER TO HAVE A DATE WITH A PERSON !!
[Lamù, with pissed evil expression and voice] We're not escort !!

Ranma dropped on his knees.

[Ranma, so much worried] PLEASE !! The suiter of Sham Poo has discovered the secret that turns depression into destructive energy (the explosions of last night are the proof). The trouble is that he's not able to control this enormous power that, growing exponentially, in the end will be so enormous as to sink into the sea the entire Japanese archipelago.

[now screaming] REALLY YOUR SISTER WOULD CONDEMN TO DEATH MORE THAN A HUNDRED MILION PEOPLE ON A WHIM ?!?

[Lamù, with strange voice] I think it's really an impossible mission: my sister hates that boy, she doesn't want to even hear mention.
[Ranma, now rather crying] PLEASE: AT LEAST TRY TO TALK WITH HER !!
[Lamù, same voice] I WOULD SERIOUSLY HELP YOU !! The point is that...


HEARING THOSE WORDS, RAMNA TOOK GENTLY THE FACE OF THE ALIEN WITH HIS RIGHT HAND...

... AND BEGUN TO LOOK AT HER IN A STRANGE WAY !!!

[Lamù, so pissed, with evil sight and voice] HEY....
[Ranma, mumbling to himself] Nan-da ?
[Lamù, same voice and situation] EXACTLY..... WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?!?







[RANMA, WITH CLEAR VOICE] YOU ARE NOT SO BAD !!






[LAMU', FURIOUS] HOW DARE YOU TO TAKE THIS CONFIDENCE WITH ME ?!?
[RANMA, WITH STUPID SMILE AND VOICE] HEY, AFTER ALL THAT WE KNOW ABOUT YOU...
[LAMU', SO MUCH FURIOUS] WHAT_THE_HELL_DO_YOU_KNO W_ABOUT_ME ?!?

[Ranma, same stupid situation, with an hand behind his head] WELL, FOR SOMEONE LIK YOU, WHO DO YOUR JOB, USED (by the way) TO HAVE <<NIGHTS OF FIRE>> WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, SHOULDN'T BE DIFFICULT TO HAVE....



VOLTS !!

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP !!!!



...
...
...

Later, at Tendo's house....

[Genma, with curious voice] Could you tell me what the hell have you done to be like this ?
[RANMA, TOTALLY CARBONIZED] Forget !!!




(To be continued)
« Last Edit: June 08, 2010, 12:19:06 AM by GiovaneDinamitardo »

Offline GiovaneDinamitardo

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Re: KISS ME !!
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2010, 12:29:53 AM »
URUSEI YATSURA, THE UNOFFICIAL 10TH SEASON[/b][/color] (click on this link to read the whole plot of this saga).

"KISS ME: chronicle of a hopeless love"

CHAPTER THREE: CRISS-CROSS DATE (CRASH!)


Tomobiki, early april.

That evening Lamù came back home so late.

She was angry.

SO MUCH ANGRY !!


...
...

Well, the point was that SHE WAS REALLY FURIOUS !!!

So landed in front of the main door...

... opened it with a nervous move...

... AND ...



[Ataru, with HOT voice] WELCOME BACK HOME LAMU' !!!!
[Lamù, rather groaning] Hello.

....
.... [ehm] ....
....

.... yet such a welcome really (REALLY) deserved something more than a simple "hello".


IN FACT....


.... not only the whole house was in order ...

... not only an inviting smell made it clear that dinner was ready....

...
BUT TO SEE ATARU WELCOMES THE ALIEN "WITH OPEN ARMS" WAS ONE OF THOSE EVENTS TO MARK ON THE CALENDAR WITH THE RED PENCIL !!!

He was strangely carefull.

[Ataru, still with HOT voice but with a silly smile and expression on his face] How was the day ? You had to work hard ? Do you wanna have a bath ? Do you like a bit of Tabasco as an appetizer ?!?

At any question she answered just "yes" or "no" with a little move of her head.

[Ataru, same situation] Well, sit down at the table: everything is reay !! By the way, what kind of spice do you like this evenig? Wasabi ? Chili Pepper ? Tabasco ? OR ALL TOGHETER ?!?

The degree of nervousness of the alien didn't diminish at all.

[Lamù, with strange EVIL voice] Darling...
[Ataru] Nan-da ?!?
[Lamù, speaking slowly with EVIL voice]... YOU'RE STRANGELY FULL OF ATTENTIONS THIS EVENING ....
[Ataru, back with stupid smile and face] w... well, a... a good husband must be that with his wife !
[Lamù, same voice] ... you're just LOVABLE, I'd say...
[Ataru, same situation BUT WITH A GREAT GLAB] gh.. gh.. ehm ... b... but is not all that you long dreamed about ?!?
[Lamù, same voice] ... ALL OF THIS NOT TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT YOU FINALLY KNEW THAT I AM A PRINCESS...
[Ataru, after anoter glab, GREATER THAN THE FIRST ONE] gh.. gh.. n.. not at all !! I... I just...
[Lamù, same voice] ... AND THAT THE ALLOWANCE THAT MY FATHER COULD GIVE ME WOULD BE ENOUGH TO BUY THE WHOLE PLANET ...
[Ataru, TOTALLY RED IN FACE] L.. Lamù, y.. you know... I... I like you as you are !
[Lamù, same voice] YOU'RE DOING ALL OF THIS JUST FOR LOVE, RIGHT ?!?
[Ataru, TOTALLY GREEN IN FACE] gh.. gh.. gh.. th.. the point is ...





VOLTS

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AP !!!!!!



As usual, Ataru screamed out in pain.
When lightning ended he got up from the ashes, so much buried, groaning.

[Ataru, so angry] DAMNED ALIEN, YOU GOT MAD ?!?

The alien poked a bit on her bra...

... and took out "something".

[Ataru, so shocked] H.. HEY, HOW DID YOU KEEP IN THERE THAT MAGAZINE ?
[LAMU', FURIOUS] DON'T CHANGE THE SPEACH, WHO' S THIS GIRL ? AND THIS ?!? AND THIS ?!? AND THIS ?!? AND THIS ?!? AND THIS ?!?[/size][/color]
[ATARU, LOST IN PAINC] YEHOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAARGH !!!

Alas, the alien was right to be angry.

IN FACT...

... THAT MAGAZINE HAD DEVOTE A LONG (SO MUCH <<LONG>> !!) ARTICLE TO ATARU (ACCOMPAINED BY A MASSIVE PHOTOGRAFIC GALLERY) ENTITLED "UNFORGIVABLE SINNER - A FABIRCE CROWN REPORTAGE" !!

In anyone of that photo he was "captured" in .... [ahem]... <<improper behavior>> with some girls (SO MUCH "IMPROPER" !!!)

[Ataru, with trembling voice, still lost in panic] F.. <<Fabrice Crown>> ?!? That damend paparazzo is back ?!? But he wasn't jailed ?!?[/color][/url]
[Lamù, still furious] Well, this time I'm glad that he did his job. [now screaming furioulsy] YOU WERE TRYING TO FOOL ME ONCE AGAIN, RIGHT ?!?
TAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIS !!!

VOLTS

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AP !!!!!!


...
...


That night the alien was unable to sleep but not because of the foolishness of Ataru: she was thinking about what Ranma had said about the "admirer" of his sister, about the fact that was able to sink all of Japan down to sea (because of that damned technic that transformed desperation into destructive energy) if he had not had an opportunity to have a date with the Chinese.
Lamù knew how it would end: hes sister would never have agreed to go out with him....

... but her conscience would not let her never mind the fate that would have involved over a hundred million people ...


... WHEN, SUDDENLY....

... UNDERSTOOD THE MEANING OF THE WORDS OF RANMA !!!

She got off from the bed silently....

... a fast fly ...

... opened the wardrobe...

... picked up a purple dress (SO MUCH HOT !!!) ...

... entered into the bath next to her bedroom...

... AND BEGUN TO WATCH HERSELF AT THE GLASS IN A STRANGE WAY !!!

[Lamù, mumbling to herself] Well, that's true: my sister and I are alike a lot !!! With this dress (practically equal to the one that she's wearing as usual), some hair clips and a pair of contact lenses I could be mistaken for her  YES, IT CAN WORK !!!

The alien continued to pose (with that dress) in front of the glass, doing like the way to be of her sister.



IT WAS AN ERROR !!!



IN FACT....


... HIDDEN BEHIND THE DOOR, ATARU WAS SPYING HER !!!

[Ataru, SO MUCH ANGRY, mumbling to himself] Damned alien, you get angry if I do a "greet" with some of my fans and what about you ? YOU'RE PREPEARING AN HIDDEN DATE ?!?
Well, if you were trying to fool me you're wrong: I will repay with your own money and this time you can not lift a finger against me.


...
...


ELSEWHERE, MEANWHILE ...


Ranma stood still immersed (and thoughtful) in the (huge) bath of the Tendo's gym.
Just could not digest the fact that, at any time, could become food for fish because of the enormous power that Mousse wasn't able to control more.
All this was compounded by the fact that he knew that he would never be able to convince Sham Poo to have a date with that stupid.

After sometimes he got up...

...
... A SUDDEN SLIP ...
...

... a jug of cold water fell on him ...

... AND HE BECOME IMMEDIATELY A GORGEOUS RED-HAIRED GIRL !!!

<<She>> got up once again, groaning nervously....

... WHEN, SUDDENLY...

... REALYZED THE MEANING OF THE WORDS THAT RYOGA SAID !!


... AND ...

...
...

Elsewhere, some time after...

... into the bedroom of Nabiki...

[Nabiki, with clear voice]Last chance, Akane: GIVE ME BACK THAT PURPLE DRESS ! You cannot have no idea about how much it cost, both in terms of money both in terms of diet that I had to suffer to wear it !!
[Akane, rather nervous] LAST TIME: IT WAS NOT ME !! [now with low, EVIL voice] By the way.... [now screaming] THESE PANTIES ARE MINE !! AND THIS ONES TOO! AND THIS !! AND THIS !! AND THIS !!! AND THIS !!!
[Nabiki, now with strange voice] Oh, really ? [and giggled]
[AKANE, FURIOUS] NABIKI, YOU WERE GOING TO SELL MY PANTIES TO SOME MANIAC ONCE AGAIN, RIGHT ?!?[/size][/color]
[Nabiki, with a great, <<innocent>> smile] Believe me, little sister: I didn't know that they were your. Now forgive me, I have to go.

She took a backpack and then left the house.

REALLY A GOOD IDEA !!!

IN FACT...


[HAPPOSAY, SO MUCH SHOCKED, CRYING AND SCREAMING DESPERATELY] WHAT HAPPENED TO MY VALUABLE COLLECTION OF PANTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE S ?!?

Careless about all of this madness, Akane came back into her bedroom...

... WHEN, SUDDENLY ....


... (just a little peep into another bedroom) ...

... AND ....

... FOUND RANMA (still a girl) THAT WAS WEARING THE DRESS OF NABIKI IN FRONT OF A GLASS, POSING SEXY !!!

[Ranma-girl, mumbling to <<herself>>] Mmmmmmh, with a little extention of my hairs and a pair of contact lenses could actually be mistaken for Sham Poo !!
YES, IT CAN WORK !!!

<<She>> continued to stay (with that dress) in front of the glass, doing like the way to be of the chinese.



IT WAS AN ERROR !!!



IN FACT....


... HIDDEN BEHIND THE DOOR, AKANE WAS STILL SPYING <<HER>> !!!

[Akane, SO MUCH ANGRY, mumbling to himself] Ranma, you damned maniac: you signed your death sentence !!
I will tend a trap and I'll photograph you when someone will kiss you! "That's why I was with Ryoga that night," I'll tell my father: "I WAS TIRED OF HAVING A BOYFRIEND WHO IS BECOMING A GAY" !!

...

In the following days, four eyes spied Mousse...

... AND, AT THE END OF THE THIRD DAY ...

... HE FOUND TWO LOVE LETTERS INTO HIS MAILBOX !!

[MOUSSE, AT THE PEAK OF HAPPINESS, SCREAMING] OH MY GOD !! OH-MY-GOD !! SHAM POO IS INVITING ME TO HAVE A DATE WITH HER ?!?

... [ehm] ...

[Mousse, now with curious voice, scratching his head] ... ehm ... I'm wondering why she posted me twice the same love letter !!

... [Oh noooooooooooo, what that stupid !!]

[Mousse, <<BACK JOYFUL>>] IT DOESN'T MATTER !!! IT DOENS'T MATTER !!! <<meet me after tomorrow at the main entrance of Tomobiki's fairground>> !!
[now laughting and jumping in a silly way] WHAHAHAHAHAHAH !!! WAIT FOR ME, MY LOVE: I WILL BE SO MUCH PUNTUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL !!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH !!! I begin immediately to prepeare me !!!

HEY, YOU IDIOT, READ MORE: THE DATE IS "THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW" !!!

MOST OF ALL, HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT SHAM POO GAVE YOU THE MEETING THE SAME DAY BUT AT DIFFERENT TIMES ?!?


....
....
....
....

The fateful day finally arrived: he presented with slight advance at the main entrance of Tomobiki's fairground...

... WHEN, FINALLY ...

[A SWEET VOICE] MOUUUUUUUUUUSE !!
[Mousse, <<sweetly excited>>] SHAM POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!

The chinese was running (in a joyful way) to reach him.
He ran to meet her...

... AND ...

[Mousse, same situation, running] SHAM POOOOOOO, I was waiting for this moment sine a long time !!! [NOW SCREAMING] LET ME HUG YOUUUUUUUUUU !!!

.....
....
...
..


POW !!! !!!


.... [ehm]....



There was little to be done: even without using his superpowers, LAMU' (DISGUISED AS HER SISTER) KNEW HOW TO DEFEND HERSELF !!!

[LAMU'/SHAM POO, with fake sweet voice and expression] Oooooooooooh, Mousse: please !! Don't act in this way !! You shoud be more polite with a girl on a first date !! [and blinked <<candidly>> her large eyes]
[Mousse, laying on the ground, WITH AN EYE BLACK AND VIOLET, groaning in pain] Y... you're right !!! F... forgive me !!

Rising from the ashes he was able (finally) to have a complete picture of her: <<Sham Poo>> was wearing a purple dress (very sexy, very short, VERY HOT), whose neckline could generate uncontrollable series of heart attacks in men's population and left her legs completely uncovered.

[Mousse, <<sweetly red in face>> with trembling voice] gh... gh.. gh... y.. you're wonderful !! Y.. you're simply the best !!

The alien turned gently on herself with light steps.

[Lamù/Sham Poo, with gentle voice] Do you really like me in this way ?!?
[Mousse, now with dreamy voice] S.. so much !! [now with clear voice] THIS IS FOR YOU !!!


SHOCK !!!

[Lamù/Sham Poo, with EVIL voice and sight] Hey...
[Mousse] Nan-da ?!?
[Lamù/Sham Poo, with EVIL voice and sight] EXACTLY..... WHAT IS THIS ?!?
[Mousse] A gift !! [and smiled]
[LAMU'/SHAM POO, SO ANGRY] COULD YOU KINDLY EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT I SHOULD DO WITH THIS BUNCH OF PEPPERS ?!?
[Mousse, now lost in panic] OH.... OH MY GOD !! YOU DON'T LIKE THIS GIFT ?!?
[Lamù/Sham Poo, blinking her large eyes] In short, mom didn't said that you should be a bit romantic with the girls ?!?
[Mousse, now with strange voice, scratching his head] Sham Poo...
[Lamù/Sham Poo] Nan-da ?!

[Mousse, now a bit ashamed, with low voice] ... WHAT IS A <<MOM>> ?!?

[Lamù/Sham Poo, SHOCKED] H.. HEY, R.... REALLY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S A <<MOM>> ?!?
[Mousse, blinking his eyes] No !
[Lamù/Sham Poo, still shocked] Excuse me: you never met your parents ? and you've never had anyone who took care of you?
[Mousse, with trembling thoughtful voice] W... well, maybe I understand what you mean!
Yes, when I was a child I had a woman who took care of me.
I remember that, every morning, she woke up very early...
[Lamù/Sham Poo, so curious] Really ?
[Mousse, now with curious voice] ... SHE PUT THE YOKE ON MY SHOULDERS ...
[Lamù/Sham Poo, GETTING WORRIED] S... sorry ?!? Th.. <<the yoke>> ?!?
[Mousse, same voice] ... SHE ATTACKED HER WAGON...
[Lamù/Sham Poo, SO MUCH WORRIED] W... what ?!?
[Mousse, same voice] ... I REMEMBER THAT SHE ALWAYS GAVE ME THE OAST FOR BREAKFAST AS SOON AS WE REACHED THE RICE FIELD...
[Lamù/Sham Poo, GETTING SHOCKED] Oh my Goooooooood....
[Mousse, same voice] ... now that I think back, IT WAS REALLY HARD TO DRAG THE PLOW OF IRON IN THE RICE FILED UNDER THE SCORCHING SUN UNTIL THE SUNSET !
[Lamù/Sham Poo, so much pissed, TOTALLY YELLOW IN FACE, mumbling to herself] I SWEAR THAT I WILL NOT COMPLAIN NO MORE ABOUT MY PARENTS !!!
[Mousse, now so blue] The day that said <<LOOK: I AM A CHILD, NOT A MULE>> she leaved me !!! [now rather crying] From that moment [sigh] she disappeared from my life [large sigh] IF I THINK BACK [sigh] I FEEL MYSELF SO DEPRESSED THAT....
[Lamù/Sham Poo, SO MUCH SHOCKED] P.. please, d... don't be this way! [now with fake sweet voice] you must not give in to sad thoughts during a date !
[Mousse, BACK JOYFUL] YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT !!

He took her by the hand and begun to walk togheter.

<<SWEETLY>> !!

In that meantime, Lamù/Sham Poo begun tu turn nervously her head.

"Oh my Gooooooooood", was her thought, "if darling saw me in a similar situation would be able to make a big mess" !!

The alien was right to be worried...

... IN FACT...

... ATARU WAS SPYING HER NOT SO FAR !!!

[Ataru, mumbling to himself] I WAS RIGHT !!! Damned alien, now you'll see what I'm capable !! [NOW SCREAMING] FOR A START, I'LL FLIRT WITH THE FIRST ONE THAT I'LL FIND !!

He closed a bit his little eyes...

... AND ...

[KOKERU, SUDDENLY APPEARED, SO MUCH JOYFULL] SUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR !!! WHAT THAT LOVELY SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS E !!! LET ME HUG YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU !! I HEARD RIGHT ?!?
DID YOU REALLY WANTED TO HAVE A DATE WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ?!?


POW !!! !!!

[Ataru, still breathing loudly, WITH A HUGE HAMMER ON HIS HANDS] ... WITH THE SECOND ONE !!! I'LL BETRAY YOU WITH THE SECOND ONE !![/size][/color]
[Kokeru, laying down to the ground, WITH A HUGE LUMP ON HIS HEAD] S... Sugar ...


ELSEWHERE, MEANWHILE...


[Lamù/Sham Poo, with fake sweet voice] You were telling me that, despite all, your moral never collapsed.
[Mousse, getting red in face, with trembling voice] W.. well, d.. do you wanna know the truth ?!? [and begun to scratch his head, so shy]
[Lamù/Sham Poo, with a wonderful smile and closed eyes] Sure !!
[Mousse, TOTALLY RED IN FACE] I.. I did nothing but thinking of you !!! SINCE THAT TIME I SAW YOU WHILE YOU WERE HAVING A BATH...


SLAP !!!


[Mousse, WITH A GREAT SIGN OF SLAP IN HIS FACE, holding his cheek] W.. what I said wrong ?!?
[LAMU'/SHAM POO, FURIOUS] HAVE YOU SPIED ME WHILE I WAS BATHING NAKED ?!?

[Mousse, same situation] Sh... Sham Poo, have you forgotten ?!? WE HAD JUST THREE YEARS !!!
[Lamù/Sham Poo, so troubled, mumbling to herself] Damn !! I have to be less precipitous !!
[Mousse, getting blue] You're really still angry about that time?!? [SIGH!]THIS MAKES ME DOWN !
[Lamù/Sham Poo, SO MUCH SCARED] gh... gh... gh... d.. don't be like this ! W.. WHAT ABOUT HAVE AN ICE CREAM TOGETHER ?!?
[Mousse, back joyful] You're right ! You're right !! I'm gona take one "special" for you! What do you like ?!?
[Lamù/Sham Poo, now wondering] Well..... it doesn't matter !! IT JUST HAVE TO BE SO MUCH SPICY !!
[Mousse, now wondering] <<Spicy>> ?!?

"Oh no", was the thought of Lamù/Sham Poo, "not this way ! I RISK SERIOUSLY TO RUIN EVERYTHING" !!

But in that meantime Mousse was already disappeared from her sight, so she set on a bunch not so far...

... turned a bit her head...

... AND ...


SHOCK !!!


SAW ATARU "SURROUNDED" BY A HUGE GROUP OF GIRLS !!!

Someone was begging for an autograph, someone for a photo, someone for a date, SOMEONE FOR SO MUCH MORE !!!

"DARLING, YOU STUPID", was the thought of the alien, "IF YOU'RE THINKING TO FOOL ME ONCE AGAIN YOU'RE WRONG !!"

A SUDDEN FAST FLY....

... and Lamù/Sham Poo disappeared !!

IT WAS AN ERROR !!!

IN FACT...

... in that meantime Mousse came back with his ice cream but didn't found the <<chinese>>

[Mousse, turning his head in a silly way] Sh... Sham Poo, where are you ?

SUDDENLY...

.... A SWEET VOICE !!!

[XX] MOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSE !!

[MOUSSE, BACK JOYFUL] SHAM POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!

The two guys ran to meet them each other...

... AND ....


.....
....
...
..



BONK !!!


[RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO, laying down to the ground, groaning in pain] H.. heyyyyyyyyyyyy, watch your steeeeeeeeeeeep !!! [sigh, sigh, sigh, sigh]
[Mousse, SHOCKED] OH.... OH MY GOD !! SHAM POO, I HURT YOU ?!?

[WOW !!]

Incredible but true, RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO WAS WEARING THE SAME DRESS OF LAMU'/SHAM POO !!

[Ranma-girl/Sham poo, groaning and crying] Y.. you stupid !! Y.. you gave me a blow so strong that... that... I THINK THAT YOU'VE DISLOCATED MY RIGHT SHOUDER !!

Normally any other guy, in a similar situation, would began to dig his own grave.

NOT MOUSSE !!!

IN FACT...

[Mousse, <<serious>>] Close your eyes, Sham Poo !!
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, blinking her eyes] What ? Why ?

No more words !!

Mousse took the right arm of Ranma-girl/Sham Poo...


.... AND GAVE HER A GREAT KICK IN HER BACK, JUST IN THE MIDDLE OF HER SHOULDERS !!

Ranma-girl/Sham Poo screamed out in pain !!

[RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO, FURIOUS] YOU HURT ME SO MUCH, YOU KNOW ?!?
[Mousse, blinking his eyes] Really ? You're still feeling bad ?

Ranma-girl/Sham Poo moved a bit <<her>> right arm...

... AND ...

[RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO, BACK SHOCKED] H.... HEY, HOW DID YOU DO ?!? I... I'M FINE !!
[Mousse, back with a silly smile and voice] Oh, there is nothing I would not do to make you happy !!
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, now with strange voice] Brrrrr, I hope that your dad has at least taught how to handle a delicate girl during a date.
[Mousse] Sham Poo...
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo] Nan-da ?

[MOUSSE, WITH STRANGE VOICE] ... WHAT IS A <<DAD>> ?!?

[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, SHOCKED] H.. HEY, R.... REALLY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S A <<DAD>> ?!?
[Mousse, blinking his eyes] No !
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, still shocked] Excuse me: you never met your parents ? and you've never had anyone who took care of you?
[Mousse, same situation] W... well, maybe I understand what you mean!
Yes, when I was a child I had a man who took care of me.
I remember that he was very strict !
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, so curious] Really ?
[Mousse, now with curious voice] Well, HE KEPT ME LOCKED IN THE PEN FOR DAYS...
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, GETTING WORRIED] S... sorry ?!? Th.. <<the pen>> ?!?
[Mousse, same voice] ... JUST ON SUNDAY HE TOOK ME THE BEST BONES...
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, SO MUCH WORRIED] W... what ?!?
[Mousse, same voice] ... I REMEMBER THAT THE ELASTIC LEASH WHICH HE HAD TIED AROUND MY NECK ALMOST CHOKED ME WHEN HE WAS RUNNING WITH THE BYCICLE AND I WAS RUNNING BEHIND HIM...
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, GETTING SHOCKED] Oh my Goooooooood....
[Mousse, same voice] ... now that I think back, THE WINTER NIGHTS THAT I SPENT ALONE INSIDE THE KENNEL NEVER ENDED !!
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, so much pissed, TOTALLY WHITE IN FACE, mumbling to herself] I SWEAR THAT I WILL NOT COMPLAIN NO MORE ABOUT MY PARENTS !!!
[Mousse, now so blue] The day that said <<LOOK: I AM A CHILD, NOT A DOG>> he leaved me !!! From that moment he disappeared from my life [large sigh] IF I THINK BACK [sigh] I FEEL MYSELF SO DEPRESSED THAT....
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, SO MUCH SHOCKED] P.. please, d... don't be this way! [now with fake sweet voice] you must not give in to sad thoughts during a date !
[Mousse, BACK JOYFUL] YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT !!

They (re)begun to walk side by side...

... <<SWEETLY>> !!

[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, with fake sweet voice] You were telling me that, despite all, your moral never collapsed.
[Mousse, getting red in face, with trembling voice] W.. well, d.. do you wanna know the truth ?!? [and begun to scratch his head, so shy]
[Lamù/Sham Poo, with a wonderful smile and closed eyes] Sure !!
[Mousse, TOTALLY RED IN FACE] I.. I did nothing but thinking of you !!! SINCE THAT TIME I SAW YOU WHILE YOU WERE UNDRESSING AT THAT GYM...


SLAP !!!


[Mousse, WITH A GREAT SIGN OF SLAP IN HIS FACE, holding his cheek] W.. what I said wrong ?!?
[RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO, FURIOUS] HAVE YOU SPIED ME WHILE I WAS UNDRESSING ?!?

[Mousse, same situation] Sh... Sham Poo, have you forgotten ?!? WE HAD JUST FOUR YEARS !!!
[Ranma-gorl/Sham Poo, so troubled, mumbling to herself] Damn !! I have to be less precipitous !! I risk seriously to ruin everything !!
[Mousse, getting blue] You're really still angry about that time?!? [SIGH!]THIS MAKES ME DOWN !
[Lamù/Sham Poo, SO MUCH SCARED] gh... gh... gh... d.. don't be like this ! W.. WHAT ABOUT HAVE AN ICE CREAM TOGETHER ?!?
[Mousse, now so troubled] Oh... OH MY GOD, I WAS FORGETTING !! THIS IS FOR YOU !! Forgive me if it melted a little in the meantime !

Ranma-girl/Sham Poo took that ice cream to eat it.


IT WAS AN ERROR !!


IN FACT...

"Wow", was the thought of Ranma-girl, "CREAM AND BLACK CHERRY, MY FAVORITE TASTE"


HEY, HEY: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOLD !!

THAT IS NOT "BLACK CHERRY" !!!

.......
......
.....
....
...
..

[RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO, LOST IN PAIN, SCREAMING OUT OF HER SOUL] WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!! IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UURNS !!!

[Mousse, turning his head in a silly way] Sh... Sham Poo, where are you gone ?!?

mmmmmmh...

Funny and curious physical phenomenon.

RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO JUMPED IN THE AIR AS IF SOMEHOW HAD PUT A ROCKET ENGINE ON <<HER>> BACK (and disappeared behind the horizon).

When <<she>> landed...

... SO MANY PEOPLE WAS WATCHING A SCENE REALLY OUT-OF-ORDER !!

[a man, mumbling] W.. what she's doing ?
[a man, mumbling too] It won't hurt her doing that ?
[a man, mumbling too] Most of all, IF SHE CONTINUE IN THIS WAY WILL DRAIN THE FOUNTAIN !!

Finally, when "she" managed to extinguish the fire, looked up (breathing loudly)...


... AND ...



SHOCK !!!


SAW AKANE IN "SWEET CONVERSATION" WITH A NOTIRIOUS MANIAC !!!


[Akane, with "sweet" voice] Ooooooooooooh, fortunately I met you: IT WAS A SO BORING DAY !!!

HEARING THAT WORDS, A RED LED MEANING "SEX" TURNED INTO THE MIND OF ATARU !

IN FACT...

... he immediately dropped to her knees and took her hand gently.

[Ataru, with dreamy voice] Oh, Akane, little flower grew between asphalt and cement: I'll do anything to enable you to "open yourself" and blossom in your NAKED beautiful beauty !!!
So, OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME !! YOU HOLD THE <<LOCK>> AND I HOLD THE <<KEY>>
[Akane, with "sweet" voice] WooooooooooooooooW ! So romantic !!


"hi hi hi", was the thought of Ataru: "the girls ignored by their boyfriends give a huge satisfaction! If I play at best my cards with her, TONIGHT I'LL HAVE SEX WITH HER !!!!"

"Wooooooow", was the thought of Akane, who whas watching at Ranma-girl out of the corner of her eyes: "THIS IS A WONDERFUL OCCASION SERVED OVER A SILVER PLATE TO FRAME THAT STUPID OF RANMA" !!!
PREPEARE YOURSELF: MY VENGEANCE WILL BE TERRIBLE AND MERCILESS !!!

"AKANE, YOU DAMNED", was the thought of Ranma-girl: "if you think you're making me jealous you're wrong: soon you'll be begging for my help as soon as you understand what kind of maniac is Moroboshi!


ELSEWHERE, MEANWHILE...

... a notorious girl was nervously trying to have some time to relax.

[SHAM POO/THE-ORIGINAL-ONE, so nervous, mumbling to herself] DAMN !! The photo-seLvice of today was a disasteL, I had to pay the penalty, that damn papaLazzo took a photo of me while I was unkempt and makeupless and a maniac at all costs wanted to have my phone numbeL.
WHAT WOlSE CAN HAPPEN TO ME TODAY ?!?


[MOUSSE, SUDDENLY APPEARED] SHAM POOOOOOOOOOOOO, AT LEAAAAAAAAAAAST !! I WASN'T ABLE TO FIND YOU ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE !!!



POW !!! !!!

[Sham Poo, FURIOUS] Ok, NOW I Leally hit Lock bottom !!
[Mousse, WITH AN EYE BLACK AND VIOLET, groaning in pain] P.. please forgive me if they are so exuberant with you but... but... [now with clear voice] BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT...
[SHAM Poo, SO MUCH NERVOUS] P.. please stop !! You Leally....

...
... [A-HEM !!!!!!!!!!!!]
...

[SHAM POO, SCREAMING LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!!

[Mousse, blinking his eyes] Sham Poo, what's going on ?!?

[SHAM POO, SCREAMING OUT OF HER SOUL] WHO FELT MY AAAAAAAAAAAAAASS ?!?

[MOUSSE, NOW FURIOUS] WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ?!? [now screaming out of his soul] I DON'T ALLOW ANYONE TO DISRESPECT YOU !!! TELL ME WHO IT WAS !!!
[Sham Poo, with clear voice] THAT ENElGUMEN OVEl THElE !!!

A short run...

... AND ...



SHOCK !!!


[Mousse, now with trembling voice] gh.. gh... gh... W.. WHO IS HE, A KING KONG'S RELATIVE ?!?

In front of Mousse it was a huge boy, before him was a huge guy, tall as a building of two floors, with a bald head and two huge lips (seen from a distance looked more like a seal)

[Mousse, still furious, mumbling to himself] It doesn't matter how much you're big ! [NOW SCREAMING, POSING AGGRESSIVE] HEY YOU, COME HERE: I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU !!!





POW !!! !!!


WITH JUST ONE BLOW (WHIT WHOM HE COULD KILL A BULL!) MOUSSE FLEW TO THE GROUND !!!

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET SHAM POO WAS ROLLING ON THE FLOOR, LAUGHTING  SO MUCH !!

[Sham Poo, giggling so much] Hi hi hi !! Thanks a lot Mousse: seeing you beat lifted my moLal !!!

The chinese disappeared on the crowd.

IT WAS AN ERROR !!

IN FACT...


[Mousse, rising from the ashes] Sh... SHAM POO, WHERE ARE YOU GONE ?!?

He disappeared too into the crowd.

IT WAS AN ERROR !!

IN FACT...

... <<someone>> came too late on the "crime scene" !!

[RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO, so scared, mumbling to <<herself>>] Oh my God, I LOST HIM !!! Damn, I have to find him as soon as possible !! JAPAN' SALVATION DEPENDS ON ME !!!

<<She>> disappeared too into the crowd.

IT WAS AN ERROR !!

IN FACT...

... <<someone else>> came too late on the "crime scene" !!

[LAMU'/SHAM POO, so scared, mumbling to herself] Oh my God, I LOST HIM !!! Damn, I have to find him as soon as possible !! THE FATE OF OVER ONE HUNDRED MILLIONS PEOPLE DEPENDS ON ME !!!


(To be continued)
« Last Edit: July 17, 2010, 12:39:08 AM by GiovaneDinamitardo »

Offline GiovaneDinamitardo

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Re: KISS ME !!
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2010, 12:17:36 AM »
URUSEI YATSURA, THE UNOFFICIAL 10TH SEASON[/b][/color] (click on this link to read the whole plot of this saga).

"KISS ME: chronicle of a hopeless love"

CHAPTER FOUR: A DATE IS UNPERFECT WITHOUT A KISS


Tomobiki, early april.

That day, at Tomobiki's Fairground, there was taking place a real manhunt...

... WHEN, FINALLY....

... AN HUNTER CAUGHT THE PREY !!!

IN FACT...

[XX, with sweet voice] Mouuuuuuuuuuuuusse !!!
[Mousse, with a great, stupid smile] Sham Pooooooooo !!!

Both ran to meet each other...

... AND ...


POW !!! [/size]

[RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO, with <<sweet>> face and voice] Oooooooooh, Mousse: fortunately I met you !! I could not find you anywhere ! [and did some little jumps]
[Mousse, WITH AN EYE BLACK AND VIOLET, laying down to the ground] gh... gh... I... I'm happy too but.... REALLY A PUNCH IN THE EYE IS A TENDERNESS ?!?[/color]

Ranma-girl/Sham Poo pretended to retreat a little, gently, sweetly flushed in face; in that meantime the guy rose from the ashes.

[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, same face and voice] Oooooooh, please: THIS IS OUR FIRST DATE !! WE'VE TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER !!
[Mousse, still groggy, with trembling voice] W.. well, if this is the way to know you better....
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, same face and voice] Nan-da ?



[Mousse, with a stupid face and smile] ... HIT ME, BABY, ONE MORE TIME !


POW !!! [/size]

[Mousse, WITH BOTH THE EYES BLACK AND VIOLET, so groggy] J... just a question: WHY IT SOUNDS SO DIFFERENT THAN WHAT BRITNEY SPEARS SINGS ?!?
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, same face and voice] What ?!? Oh, I understeand !! [now with a great, <<INNOCENT>> smile] But don't waste time !! TODAY IS "OUR" DAY !!


MOUSSE DIDN'T NEED TO REPEAT TWICE !!

... AND ...


[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!

Mousse taken Sham Poo under his arm and re-begun to walk side-by-side.

<<SWEETLY>> !!

[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, now wondering] Just a question Mousse: how did you find me so fast?
[Mousse, now so shy] Have you forgotten? This was our favorite game when we were kids ! [now wondering] Sham Poo, I got a question too.
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, blinking <<her>> eyes] About ?!?
[Mousse, TOTALLY RED IN FACE] HOW DID YOU FIND THE WAY HOME TO FIRST SHOT ?[/color]
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, SHOCKED] F... forgive me, Mousse, has elapsed so long time that I don't remember so well but.. but... HOW WE PLAYED ?
[Mousse, <<so serious>>] Well, you blindfolded me and then took my hand, walked a long into a dark wood and, when I open my eyes, I could not see but heard your voice saying (with a funny ringarole): "I come home before first, I come home first "!
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, LOST IN PANIC, with trembling voice] R... really ?
[Mousse, now rather crying] Th.. THE POINT IS THAT SOMETIMES IT TOOK ME MONTHS TO FIND MY WAY HOME: I ATE BERRIES AND ROOTS TO SURVIVE AND, WHEN I ARRIVED, I SPENT ALMOST ONE MONTH IN BED WITH PNEMONIA DUE TO THE COLD THAT I HAD TO SUFFER !![/color]
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, talking to <<herself>> with wrath] WHEN THIS MESS WILL BE OVER I HAD BETTER TO TALK SERIOUSLY WITH SHAM POO !!![/color]

They were still walking when, suddenly, Mousse held himself.

[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, now wondering] Hey, what's going on ?
[Mousse, now so red in face, with trembling voice] Sham Poo, I got something to say.
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo] Nan-da ?!?

[Mousse, TOTALLY RED IN FACE, with trembling voice] A DATE IS UNPERFECT WITHOUT A KISS !!!

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!!!!

HEARING THAT WORDS, RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO HAD FELT A SHIVER OF FEAR RUNNING DOWN <<HER>> SPINE !!!


[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, SO MUCH SHOCKED] W... what ?!?
[Mousse, back with stupid face and smile] Please, tell me what I can do to deserve a kiss !!
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, still shocked, with trembling voice] Y... you... you.... [now with drunk voice] YOU'VE REALLY TO AMAZE ME, OF COURSE !!!
[Mousse, SO MUCH JOYFULL] JUST THIS ONE ?!?  I KNOW HOW TO DO IT !!
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, LOST IN PANIC] R... really ?!?

The guy disappeared for few minutes...

... AND WE CAME BACK....

.... MOUSSE WAS CARRYING AN "OUT-OF-ORDER" SURPRISE !!!


[Mousse, with a wonderful smile, standing on a triumphal pose] THIS IS A GIFT FOR YOU, MY LOVE !!
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, STILL LOST IN PANIC, SCREAMING] EEEEEEEEEEK !!



[... ehm ...]


If Mousse had this idea to defeat Ranma when he was a boy would surely have won the duel.

IN FACT...

... HE PUT DOWN TO <<HER>> FEETS A HUGE WITHE CAT !!!

It was really enormous, with long whiskers and large eyes and was watching at him in a strange way.

In front of him, Ranma-girl/Sham Poo begun to shake and to rattle <<her>> teeth !!

[Mousse, blinking his eyes] Sham Poo, what's going on ?!?

Mousse was right to be surprised.

IN FACT...

... RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO WAS MEOWING IN A SCARY WAY, LIKE A CAT WHO PREPEARES TO FACE HIS MORTAL ENEMY !!!

... ON THE OTHER SIDE, KOTATSU-CAT WAS POSING AGGRESSIVE !!![/color]

SUDDENLY....

... IT RAN AGAINST <<HER>> TO STRIKE FIRST ...

... AND ...


..........
.........
.......
.....
....

POW !!! [/size]

When Ranma-girl/Sham Poo opened <<her>> eyes realized that was completely disheveled and was still deeply panting with fright!

[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, panting loudly in a silly way] [pant, pant] If.. if he wanted to kill me [pant, pant] I have to admit that [pant, pant]
was almost successful! Fortunately he has put himself before me and the damn cat hit him! [now wondering] But... but... [now with clear voice] OH MY GOD, I MISSED HIM ONCE AGAIN !!! [now with wrath] Damn, how do I find him this time?

<<She>> started running frantically, aimlessly, searching desperately through the crowd that thronged around the attractions...

... WHEN, SUDDENLY...

... FOUND A "ODD COUPLE" INVOLVED IN A "STRANGE TENDERNESS" !!

... [ehm] ...

Well, the point was taht the girl was desperately trying to keep a safe distance a famous maniac.

<<She>> hid herself behind a tree, just to "admire the show"...

... AND ...



[AKANE, with trembling voice] S.. so y.. you... you...
[ATARU, with "hot" voice but with a stupid smile too] A DATE IS UNPERFECT WITHOUT A KISS !!!
[Akane, same voice] s... so ?!?
[Ataru, same voice and smile] KISS ME !! KISS ALL OVER MY SKIN: YOU CAN REACH THE STARS !!!

POW !!! [/size]

[Akane, breathing loudly in a silly way, STILL WITH AN HAMMER IN HER HANDS] M.. men, this is the most difficult part of my plan !! [pant, pant] I wonder how he manages to be so perverted and to get up after every hit that I shot!

STILL HIDDEN, RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO WAS ROLLING ON THE FLOOR, LAUGTHING STUPIDLY !!!

... BUT, SUDDENLY ...


[XY, WITH CLEAR VOICE] Sham Poo, are you all right today ?!?

Ranma-girl/Sham poo rose <<her>> sight

.. AND ...


[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, WITH TREMBLING VOICE, RATTLINLG SO MUCH] K... KUNO, W.. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE ?!?
[KUNO, blinking his eyes] Well, I'm just enjoying the day !!  [now wondering] By the way, have you seen my beloved ponytailed Goddess ?!?

SHOCK !!

"Oh no", was the thought of Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, "this stupid get in the wrong place at the wrong time: if I start to lose time with him I won't never find Mousse !! Damn, what can I do to divert his attention?"

BUT <<SHE>> FOUND QUICKLY AN ALTERNATIVE IDEA !!

[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, whispering into Kuno's ear] Well, I don't know where is she but... the point is that...
[Kuno, blinking his eye] .. nan-da ?!?
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, same situation] ... as I was saying, the point is that...
[Kuno, blinking once again his eyes] I really don't hear you, Sham Poo: what do you wanna say to me ?!?
[RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO, SCREAMING FURIOUSLY] A DAMNED MANIAC IS BOTHERING AKANE !! YOU'VE BECOME DEAF OR JUST MORE STUPID ?!?
[KUNO, SCREAMING LOST IN PANIC] WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ?!? A MANIAC ?!?

He ran away...

... BUT THE TROUBLES WEREN'T ENDED AT ALL FOR RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO !!

IN FACT...

[XX, WITH POWERFUL VOICE] HOLD, YOU "DARLING'S THIEFS" ?!?
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, so shocked]  What ?!? Who are you ?!?

<<She>> turned a bit, just to look who was the one that was talking behind <<her>> ...


... AND ...

[RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO, SHOCKED] KODACHI ?!? What the fool do you want from me ?[/color]
[KODACHI, talking slowly with wrath] Long_time_no_see_you !! [now with sadic voice] You had fun hitting me on the walls that once, right [/url]?!?
[Ranma-girl/Sham Poo, still shocked] W... what ?!? I.. I don't understeand w.. what th..
[Kodachi, still sadic] ... well, laughs best who laughs last ! [now screaming] DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E !!!

WAS IN THAT MOMENT THAT A HUGE DARK SHADOW DARKENED THE SUN OVER THEM...

... AND ....


KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM !!!

ONLY <<HER>> REFLEXES SAVED RAMNA-GIRL/SHAM POO FROM  BEING CRUSHED BY A HUGE MARBLE SLAB !!

[Kodaci, with sadic voice]you do not have to labor, I have already written your name on the stone! [NOW SCREAMING] TAKE THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS !!!
[RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO, SCREAMING, LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!

...pulled a rope that seemed suspended in air ...

... AND A RAIN OF MARBEL FELL ON <<HER>> (who begun to run away in a silly way).

Ranma really needed all his skill as a master of martial arts to escape the deadly rain but soon realized that was not enough: <<she>> must find a safe hiding place to escape the wrath of what, in fact, was his passionate suitor.

WHEN, FINALLY....

... HAD THE RIGHT IDEA !!!

"THE LASERDROME", was <<her>> thought: "the twilight of that environment is ideal for hiding"


ELSEWHERE, MEANTIME...


... the crowd was thronging the edge of a fresh crater, mubling so much.

[a man, mumbling] I told you that I'm not laying !
[a man, mumbling] You mean that was the guy who created this chasm?
[a man, mumbling] W.. wooooow: how can be he still alive ?!?


Regardless of the comments of the crowd Mousse began to rise...

... and found back all the energies when heard a sweet voice!

[XX] MOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSE !!!
[Mousse, "SO HAPPY"] SHAM POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!


Both ran to meet each other ...

... AND ...



POW !!! [/size]

[LAMU'/SHAM POO, with <<sweet>> face and voice] Oooooooooh, Mousse: fortunately I met you !! I could not find you anywhere ! [and did some little jumps]
[Mousse, WITH AN EYE BLACK AND VIOLET, laying down to the ground] gh... gh... f.. forgive me Sham Poo but this thing really make me wonder: I WILL BE ABLE TO SURVIVE ALL THESE "TENDERNESS" ?!?
[Lamù/Sham Poo, same face and voice] Ooooooh, you little sweet stupid !! [now with a great, <<INNOCENT>> smile] Don't waste time !! TODAY IS "OUR" DAY !!


MOUSSE DIDN'T NEED TO REPEAT TWICE !!

... AND ...


[Lamù/Sham Poo, LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!

Mousse taken Sham Poo under his arm and re-begun to walk side-by-side.

<<SWEETLY>> !!

[Lamù/Sham Poo, now wondering] Just a question Mousse...
[Mousse, blinking his eyes] about ?!?
[Lamù/Sham Poo, now so shy] ... from what you told me you have not had an easy life.
[Mousse, now with sad voice] W... well... [large sigh]... I had to learn how to fend quickly: you've to know that I have done a thousand trades.
[Lamù/Sham Poo, blinking her large eyes] Really ?

[Mousse, with clear voice] I WAS THE SPONGE TO MOISTEN THE STAMPS TO STICK IN A POST OFFICE..
[LAMU'/SHAM POO, SHOCKED] N... Nan-da ?!?
[/color]
[Mousse, same voice] ... THE TOWEL IN A PUBLIC BATH... [/color]
[LAMU'/SHAM POO, GETTING MORE SHOCKED] R.. Really ?!?
[Mousse, same voice] ... THE SCAPEGOAT ON WHICH THE DIRECTORS OF A FAMOUS COMPANY VENT THEIR DAILY FRUSTRATIONS...[/color]
[LAMU'/SHAM POO, LOST IN PANIC] Oh my GoooooooooooD !!
[Mousse, same voice] I wanna share you a secret: some time ago I was so penniless that ...... that ... WELL, AFTER MY DEAD THE UNIVERSITY OF MEDICINE MAY MAKE EXPERIMENTS OVER MY DEAD BODY !!! [/color]
[LAMU'/SHAM POO, same situation, with trembling voice] ...and... h.. how did you survive throuhg all this years ?!?

Hearing those words, Mousse became totally red in face.

[Mousse, scratching his head] Well... [ehm]... I HAD YOU !!! [large sweet sigh] YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN MY SHINING STAR: UNREACHABLE BUT, AT LEAST, YOU ILLUMINATED THE DARKNESS OF MY LIFE !!!

Hearing those words, Lamù made superhuman efforts to hold back the tears.

"Poor", was her thought, "how does my sister to despise him so much? He makes me so sorry that.. that"...



... [A-HEM] ....

[Lamù/Sham Poo, screaming, lost in panic] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!


... A "NAUGHTY" BLAST ...

... AND ...


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH !!!

... Lamù' (short) skirt was raised and, to the delight of the male audience, her panties were now revealed to the gaze of all.

[Mousse, SHOCKED] SH.. SHAM POO, Y.. YOU....
[Lamù/Sham Poo, so embarassed] gh.. gh.. d.. DON'T PEEP !!

[Mousse, still shocked] .... YOU WEAR THE SAME TYPE OF PANTIES OF YOUR SISTER !!!

"Damn", was the thought of the alien, "just had not thought to wear a normal lingerie !! Oh no, in this way I risk seriously tu ruin all".

[Mousse, getting red in face] Sham poo..
[Lamù/Sham poo, still embarassed] Nan-da ?!?
[Mousse, getting red in face] About your sister... ehm.. I wanted to ask you a thing but... but... I fear that you'll get angry with me.
[Lamù/Sham Poo, now blinking her large eyes] About ?

[Mousse, TOTALLY RED IN FACE, with trembling voice] W... WELL, YOU DON'T MIND TO HAVE A SUCH PERVERTED SISTER AS LAMU' ?!?

[LAMU'/SHAM POO, FURIOUS] I'D BE A PERVERTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED ?!?

[Mousse, still with trembling voice] N.. NOT YOU, OF COURSE !! I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR SISTER !!

LAMU' MADE SUPERHUMAN EFFORTS TO HOLD BACK HER WRATH !!!

In that meantime they re-begun to walk side by side.

[Lamù/Sham Poo, with "nervous" voice] Mousse, WHY DO YOU THINK THAT MY SISTER IS A PERVERTED ?!?

[Mousse, so confused] H... hey, really you don't realize ?
[Lamù/Sham Poo, getting furious]Please_answer_to_my_ques tion.
[Mousse, so much confused] Well, even ignoring what that maniac of her boyfriend sings about her in your song....
[Lamù/Sham Poo, same situation] PLEASE, GO_ON !!

[Mousse, now with clear voice] Well, yourself, last night on TV, you said that was at least funny to be exonerated from the accuse of having kidnapped Her Majesty Aiko providing the proof that was in ... "Intimacy" with her perverted boyfriend all night long[/url] (AND I ASSURE YOU THAT, BY THE TONE WITH WHICH YOU UTTERED THE WORD "INTIMACY", ALL JAPAN HAS UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU WERE REFERRING TO [/color]) !!


[Lamù/Sham Poo, talking to herself with wrath] WHEN THIS MESS WILL BE OVER I HAD BETTER TO TALK SERIOUSLY WITH SHAM POO !!!

They were still walking when, suddenly, Mousse held himself.

[Lamù/Sham Poo, now wondering] Mousse, what's going on ?
[Mousse, now so red in face, with trembling voice] Sham Poo, forgive me if I insist but...
[Lamù/Sham Poo] Nan-da ?!?

[Mousse, TOTALLY RED IN FACE, with trembling voice] A DATE IS UNPERFECT WITHOUT A KISS !!!

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!!!!

HEARING THAT WORDS, LAMU'/SHAM POO HAD FELT A SHIVER OF FEAR RUNNING DOWN <<HER>> SPINE !!!


[Lamù/Sham Poo, SO MUCH SHOCKED] N... Nan-da ?!?
[Mousse, back with stupid face and smile] Please, tell me what I can do to deserve a kiss !!
[Lamù/Sham Poo, still shocked, with trembling voice] Y... you... you.... [now with drunk voice] YOU'VE REALLY TO AMAZE ME, OF COURSE !!!
[Mousse, SO MUCH JOYFULL] JUST THIS ONE ?!?  I KNOW HOW TO DO IT !!
[Lamù/Sham Poo, LOST IN PANIC] R... really ?!?

The guy disappeared for few minutes...

... AND WE CAME BACK....

.... MOUSSE WAS CARRYING AN "OUT-OF-ORDER" SURPRISE !!!


[Mousse, with a wonderful smile, standing on a triumphal pose] THIS IS A GIFT FOR YOU, MY LOVE !!
[Lamù/Sham Poo, STILL LOST IN PANIC, SCREAMING] EEEEEEEEEEK !!

... [ehm] ...

There was very little to do: Mousse absolutely ignored the meaning of the words "romantic gift".

IN FACT...

... in front of that strange gift, Lamù/Sham Poo begun to choke a lot.

[Lamù/Sham Poo, among a lots of coughings] M... Mousse [cough, cough] th.. thanks for this bouquet but [cough, cough] there are [cough, cough] THERE ARE TWO IMPORTANT THINGS TAHT [cough, cough] YOU'VE TO KNOW !!
[Mousse, blinking his eyes] About ?
[Lamù/Sham Poo, same situation] F.. first of all [cough, cough] PEPPERS ARN'T AT ALL FLOWERS...[/color]
[Mousse, blinking again his eyes] ... and what about the second ?!?

[LAMU'/SHAM POO, LOST IN PANIC] NOT EVEN GARLICS ARE FLOWERS !!! More, I HATE GARLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIC !![/color] [cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough]

Caught in her Achille's hell, the alien forced herself to fly away and escaped but, lost in panic, ran through the crowd, aimlessl.

[Mousse, turning his face in a silly way] Sham Poo, where are you gone ?!?


The alien runs away and stopped at the peak of a hill, where he found sufficient fresh air to be able to stop coughing.

BUT FOUND ALSO <<SOMETHING ELSE>> !!

IN FACT ...

[XX, WITH WRATH] I FOUND YOU !!
[Lamù/Sham Poo, so surprised] W.. who are you ?!?

IN FRONT OF HER, KODACHI WAS POSING AGGRESSIVE !!

[Kodachi, with nervous voice] Really you were thinking to escape from me?
Poor !
Well, you'll be pleased to know that I HAVN'T FINISHED AT ALL THE MUNITIONS !
[LAMU'/SHAM POO, SCREAMING LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!

... [ehm] ...

The alien would have liked to give some explanations ...

... but had to give up when Kodachi, with a sort of RPG gun, began to shoot on her bullets full of tar, glue, molasses and other crap.

WHEN, FINALLY....

... HAD THE RIGHT IDEA !!!

"THE LASERDROME", was her thought: "the twilight of that environment is ideal for hiding"


ELSEWHERE, MEANWHILE...

A notorius girl was walking nervously all alone.

[SHAM POO, mumbling nervously to herself] Damn, was not at all a good idea to come heLe: I have a stiff on my Light hand because of too many autogLaphs that I had to sign and I was not Lelaxed at all.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT MAY HAPPEN TO BE WOlSE TODAY !!!

A SUDDEN HUG !!!

[Mousse, <<HAPPY>>] SHAM POOOOOOO, FINALLY I MET YOU ONCE AGAIIIIIIN !!

POW !!! [/size]

[Sham Poo, furious] Ok, I will scoLe this day with black maLker on my diaLy
[Mousse, rising from the ashes] gh... gh... I.. I'm really happy that you're still in tenderness with me !!
[Sham Poo, SCREAMING OUT OF HER SOUL] WHAT THE HELL OF TENDElNEEEEEEEES !! I JUST WANNA...


... [A-HEM !!!!!!!!!!! ]........

SHAM POO WAS NOT AT ALL EXPECTING SOMETHING OF THIS !!!

IN FACT....


[SHAM POO, SCREAMING LOST IN PANIC] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !! WHAT THE DISGUUUUUUUUUUUUUUST !!! A FlOG IN THE FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE !!!

Lost in panic, she begun to run without pose (still screaming]

[Sham poo, same situation] HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LP !!! I'M SCAlED OF FlOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGS !!!

Finally "someone" was able to catch her and to remove that strange "instrument of torture".
Slowly she opened back her eyes...

... AND ...


SHOCK !!!



[Mousse, TOTALLY RED IN FACE, with trembling voice] Sh.. Sham Poo, IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE YOU IN MY ARMS !!!

POW !!! [/size]

[SHAM POO, now back on the ground ,PANTING LOUDLY] YOU DAMNED !! LEAVE ME ALONE !!
[Mousse, still with trembling voice BUT WITH AN EYE BLACK AND VIOLET] I... I cannot !! I cannot resist anymore !!! [NOW SCREAMING] A DATE IS UNPERFECT WITHOUT A KIIIIIIIIIIIIISS !!!

Sham Poo begun to run aimlessly, screaming lost in panic...

WHEN, FINALLY....

... HAD THE RIGHT IDEA !!!

"THE LASElDlOME", was her thought: "the twilight of that enviLonment is ideal foL hiding"

BUT SOMEONE NOTICED HER "RETRE" !!

... AND ...

[Akane, with sadic voice] Ataru...
[Ataru, so much excited, with stupid face] Nan-da ?
[Akane, same voice] YOU'D ACCOMPANY ME INTO THE LASERDROME ?
[Ataru, blinking his little eyes] Of course but... why ?

[AKANE, WITH FAKE SWEET VOICE] BECAUSE THE TWILIGHT OF THAT ENVIRONMENT IS IDEAL TO SHARE A KISS !!!

[WOW !!!]

Akane did not understand what happened, but moments later, she found herself into the laserdrome.

It was a really huge structure: inside there was little light but, in return, there were many artificial barriers and a scary fog contributed to emphasize both a spectral atmosphere and the laser beams, that continuously flashed in the air.
Anyone who entered received a eye protection and a special "laser gun" connected to a backpack and then, divided into teams, began to face its enemies: every time someone got hit was private for some seconds of his "weapons".


IN ONE OF ITS CORNER WAS TO CONSUME A DRAMA !!

IN FACT...

... AKANE FOUND HER TARGET !!!

"I got you, Ranma", was her thought, "now I can avenge".

A SUDDEN MOVE...

... AND ...

Ataru was so surprised to lose her "prey" in that strange, silly way...

... BUT, SUDDENLY...

.... FOUND A "WORTHY REPLACEMENT" !!!

[ATARU, OVEREXCITED] SHAM POO CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN !!!

... AND HUGGED HER ...

... then, dropped on her knees, begun to hold her hand.

[Ataru, with dreamy voice] Oh, sweet chinese of mine: you're able to illuminate this darkness.

SHAM POO BEGUN TO TREMBLE IN A SCARY WAY !!

[<<Sham Poo>>, with strange voice] <<DARLING>>, DO_YOU_REALLY_LOVE_ME ?
[Ataru, same voice] SURE !!
[<<Sham Poo>>, same voice] SO, COME MORE CLOSE TO ME !!

... [ehm] ...

Ataru was so excited to don't notice that, mysteriously, SHAM POO HAD LOST HER "CHINESE ACCENT" !!!

IN THAT MEANTIME...

... AKANE OPENED HER MOBILE AND TURNED ON THE CAMERA !!

Her plan was finally clear: SHE WANTED TO EXPOSE RANMA WHEN WAS KISSED BY ATARU, TO SHAME HIM IN THE EYE OF HER FATHER !!

So, with light step, walked silently so close to that couple...

... AND, SUDDENLY....

... TRIED TO RIP OFF THE WIG OF RANMA !!!

[OH-MY-GOD !!!!!!!!!!]

The trouble was that not only the wig was not torn at all...

... but <<sham poo>> turned toward her ...

She was simply furious !!!

[Akane, lost in panic] H.. how is possible ?!?
[LAMU'/SHAM POO, FURIOUS] HEY, ARE YOU CRAZY ?!?
[Akane, with trembling voice] W.. WHO ARE YOU ?!?
[LAMU'/SHAM POO, STILL FURIOUS] WHO DO YOU THINK I AM ?!?

Not so far...

... Ataru, totally confused, was trying to reach the exit...

... WHEN, SUDDENLY....

[ATARU, BACK EXCITED] SHAM POO CHAAAAAAAAN ! FORTUNATELY I FOUND YOU BAAAAAAAAAAAACK !!!

Hearing those words, <<Sham Poo>> had an heart attack !!

[ATARU, SO MUCH EXCITED] KISS MEEEEEEEEEE !!

He jumped to reach her...

... AND ...


POW !!! [/size]

RANMA-GIRL/SHAM POO WAS NOW BREATHING LOUDLY (IN A SILLY WAY), DUE TO THE SCARE !!

Not so far...

[Sham Poo, mumbling to herself] Damn, I'm not able to find the exit !!

WHEN, SUDDENLY...

SHOCK !!![/SIZE]

... SOMEONE CAUGHT HER HAND !!

[MOUSSE, WITH SWEET, SCARY VOICE] SHAM POO, DON'T YOU THINK THAT THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME TO GIVE ME A KISS ?!?[/color][/SIZE]

POW !!! [/size]


Someone for one reason, someone for another, everyone ran out of the building.
Mousse was the last one to exit...

... AND ...


[XX, with sweet voice] Mouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse !!!
[Mousse, with sweet voice too] SHAM POO !!!

He ran to meet her...

... AND ...





DEEP SHOCK !!!



[MOUSSE, SHOCKED] W..... WHAT IT MEANS THIS ?!?


The guy was right to be scared.

IN FACT...


THREE <<SHAM POO>> WHERE IN FRONT OF HIM !!!



["all the Sham Poo", SCREAMING WITH WRATH] WHO-ARE-YOU, YOU-DAMNED-IMPOSTOR ?!?


(To be continued)
« Last Edit: September 10, 2010, 12:26:30 AM by GiovaneDinamitardo »

Offline GiovaneDinamitardo

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Re: KISS ME !!
« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2010, 12:29:26 AM »
URUSEI YATSURA, THE UNOFFICIAL 10TH SEASON[/b][/color] (click on this link to read the whole plot of this saga).

"KISS ME: chronicle of a hopeless love"

CHAPTER FIVE: THE FATAL KISS


Tomobiki, early april.

Who that day happened to be (by chance) from that corner of the Tomobiki's Fairground or rubbed his eyes tight or wondered whether or not he should stop raising the elbow (even if it was time to get visit to a psychiatrist - but a good one!).

The point was that what was happening was not at all normal.

IN FACT...

... THREE GIRLS PERFECTLY IDENTICAL WERE STRONGLY ARGUING !!

[Sham Poo, screaming furiously] WHAT THE FOOL ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU DAMNED IMPOSTOR ?!?
[SHAM POO TOO, screaming furiously] I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT IS BETTER THAT YOU DO AWAY WITH THIS COMEDY !!!
[THIS IS ALSO SHAM POO] ENOUGH IS ENOUUUUUUUUUUGH !!! GO AWAYYYYYY !! I AM THE GENUINE ONE !!!
[Sham Poo, screaming furiously] YOU DAMNED !!
[SHAM POO TOO, screaming furiously] YOU STUPID !!
[THIS IS ALSO SHAM POO, screaming furiously] YOU FOOL !!!

[<<all the Sham Poo>>, screaming out of their souls] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!!

All the girls caught each others on their hairs and a furious quarrel broke out !!

Not so far, two guys and a girl, watching that scene, where getting seriously shocked !!!


... [A-ehm] ....


Well, just two were getting shocked.

IN FACT...

[Akane, so shocked, with trembling voice] H... how can be such a thing?
[Mousse, rubbling hardly his eyes, so confused] I... I thought I had solved my problems of myopia with these contact lenses but, obviously, is not true: now I see double!
[ATARU, GETTING EXCITED] You stupids, really don't understand ? [now screaming] THIS IS A VISION FROM HEAVEN !!!

.... AND BEGUN TO RUN TO REACH THEM !!!

[ATARU, WITH SILLY SMILE AND VOICE] SHAM POO CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN !!! I'M MAD ABOUT YOUUUUUUUUUU !!!




POW !!! [/size]

[Mousse, HOLDING A HUGE HAMMER, with wrath] I don't allow you to disrispect her !!
[Ataru, knocked down to the ground, WITH A GREAT LUMP ON HIS HEAD] Y... you stupid, this is a golden opportunity: EVERYBODY CAN CHOOSE "HIS" SHAM POO AND ANYONE WE'LL BE HAPPY !!!

But Mousse, at least, had the right idea to solve this situation.

[Mousse, now talking with wrath] Enough is enough: THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT WHO'S THE REAL SHAM POO !!!


THIS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE EEEEEEEEEEE !!!



SPLASH !!!!


[<<Sham Poo>>, screaming out of her soul] HEY, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ?!? WHY I HAVE THIS BUCKED OF WATER THROWN ON ME ?!?
[<<Sham Poo>>, so worried] OH NO, THIS TIME IS REALLY THE END !!

[SHAM POO, WITH WRATH] MIEOW !!!!!



GAME OVER !!


Mousse knew how would react the "true" sham poo on contact with cold water.

IN FACT ...

The violet color of Lamù melted and her "green natural" came back in few seconds...
... the hair-extension of Ranma-girl felt on the ground...
... AND THE CHINESE BECOME A FUNNY, NICE KITTY !!!


[Ataru, now so shocked] this transformation will never cease to amaze me! but at least it's reversible?
[Akane, with clear voice] Oh well, she just needs some hot water to come back to normal.
[ATARU, SO JOYFUL] JUST THIS ONE ?!?

A SUDDEN FAST RUN...

... AND HE CAME BACK HOLDING A HUGE YELLOW TEAPOT !!!

A fast move...

... AND ...


SPLASH !!!!


.....
....
...
..


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH !!!!


...... [WOW !!!!!!!! ]


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHM !!!


A HUGE CROWD OF MEN OF ALL AGES (perverted olds or just "new arrivals") GATHERED AROUND THE CHINESE (<<STUNNED>>): those who cold begun to photograph and to film her with their mobiles.

[ATARU, OVEREXCITED, with his tongue out of the mouth] GH.. GH.. ... GEE !!!

POW !!! [/size] !!!

[Lamù, holding a huge hammer, furious] TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE IN HER THAT I DO NOT !!
[Ataru, rising from the ashes, with drunk voice AND A GREAT LUMP ON HIS HEAD] Really you do not understand? [now with clear voice] This is not <<just>> a "Vision of Heaven" ...  [NOW SCREAMING] THIS IS AAAAAAAAAAAAART !!


.... [ehm] ...

In his way Ataru was right.

IN FACT...

... SHAM POO LOOKED LIKE A LIVING COPY OF THE "VENUS OF BOTTICELLI" !!!

First of all, SHE WAS TOTALLY NAKED...

... second, with her hands and her hairs was hiding just the... [ehm] .... "THE INDISPENSABLE".

[Sham Poo, with strange sweet voice] ... ehm... I Leally thank you foL youL affection but now I should go.

Ataru immediately dropped on his knees in front of her.

[Ataru, with dreamy voice] Oh, Sham Poo, you really seems a Goddes ! PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE THIS POOR PLANET.

POW !!! [/size] !!!

Once again he felt donw to the ground, hit by a huge hammer.

[LAMU', FURIOUS] WHEN YOU WILL STOP TO WALK AROUND NAKED ?!?
[Sham Poo, getting nervous] Sissy, fiLst of all I LemembeL you that it not depend on me this situation, second that YOU'lE THE ONE OF THE FAMILY THAT'S USED TO WALK AlOUND ALMOST NAKED !!
[Lamù, same voice] I KNOW HOW TO RESPECT THE DECENCE, YOU KNOW ?
[Sham Poo, now furious] THE POINT IS THAT WHEN I BECOME A CAT I CANNOT CONTINUE TO WEAl ANYTHING, YOU KNOW ?!?
[Lamù, same voice] SO WHY DON'T YOU DRESS UP WITH YOUR CLOTHES ?!?
[Sham Poo, same voice] Put on you wet and soaking muddy clothes !!
[Lamù, still nervous] SO WEAR THIS !!!



OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH !!!!

A SUDDEN <<STRIP-TEASE>>...

... AND ...

... Lamù took off his clothes and dressed her sister nervously with a single gesture.

Now her sister was back dressed but now she was wearing just her notorious tiger-strippered bikini!!




WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHM !!!



NOW ALL THE PERVERTEDS WERE AROUND HER !!

[Lamù, so confused, with trembling voice] Wh... what do you want from me ?


[a guy, so excited] S.. so it's true.
[a guy, so excuted] That's why she's used to walk around almost naked !!!
[a guy, SO MUCH EXCITED] SHE MUST BE A REAL PERVERTED ONE !!!
[a guy, OVEREXCITED] MORE, SHE MUST BE A REAL NYMPHOMANIAC ONE !!!
[a guy, OVEREXCITED AND PERVERTED EITHER] L... LAMU', I... I REALLY WANNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU !!!
[a guy, OVEREXCITED AND PERVERTED EITHER]  I TOO !!
[a guy, OVEREXCITED AND PERVERTED EITHER]  I TOO !!
[a guy, OVEREXCITED AND PERVERTED EITHER]  I TOO !!
[a guy, OVEREXCITED AND PERVERTED EITHER]  I TOO !!
[a guy, OVEREXCITED AND PERVERTED EITHER]  I TOO !!


VOLTS

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAP !!!!


[LAMU', SCREAMING OUT OF HER SOUL] GO AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, YOU MAKE ME SUUUUUUUUUUCKS !!!

Not so far, someone (still in shock) was trying to get some kind of explenations.

[Mousse, so confused, with trembling voice] Sh.. Sham Poo, w.. why you've done this one to me ?

POW !!! [/size] !!!

[Sham Poo, getting furoius] YOU'lE lEALLY SO STUPID THAT YOU STILL HAVN'T lEALIZED THAT I WAS THE ONLY ONE UNAWAlE OF EVElYTHING ?!?
[Mousse, rising from the ashes, WITH A GREAT LUMP ON HIS HEAD] gh... gh... w.. why you act in this way ?!? [now rather crying] SH.. SHORT AGO YOU PROMISED TO GIVE ME A KISS !!!


POW !!! [/size] !!!


Hearing this prhase the chinese went on a rampage.

[SHAM POO, FURIOUS] SISSY, lANMA: WHAT THE FOOL HAVE YOU DONE ?!?
[Ranma-girl, with trembling voice] W.. well, w... we were just... just trying to... to <<rise his moral>>, of course !!

POW !!! [/size] !!!

Ranma-girl felt down to the ground hit by a huge hammer, a great lum rose on <<her>> head.

[Lamù, back furious] Sham Poo, <<MY_LITTLE_ANGEL>>, this_is_too_much !!
[Sham poo, same voice] GO AWAY, SISSY !!!
[Lamù, now so surprised, blinking her large eyes] N.... nan-da+tcha ?!?

The chinese begun to cry nervously.

[Sham Poo, among a lots of sighs] W... what do you believe, that [sigh] that I was an object [sigh] to be handled [sigh] to youL liking? [Sniff] I have disappointed [sigh] eveLyone! I thought [sigh] I thought I had a husband and [sigh] and a sisteL to Lely on and instead [sniff] I find I have [sigh] two pLofiteeLs [sigh] who seek to use me [sigh] as they please, [sigh] as if I weLe a puppet.

[NOW SCREAMING] I HATE YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL !!!

Both Ranma and Lamù tried to approach Sham Poo who, meanwhile, was striding away towards the exit.

IT WAS AN ERROR !!!

IN FACT...


[Ranma-girl, with clear voice] Sham Poo, there's a reason for everything we've done !!
[Lamù, flying slowly, with clear voice too] She's right: there's a thing that you've to know. Please, listen to us for a minute.

The chinese didn't turn around at all and continued to walk nervously.

[Ranma-girl, now worried] Hey, Sham Poo....
[Lamù, worried too] Hey... hey...
[Sham Poo, still nervous] I SAID DON'T WANNA HEAl YOU ANYMOlE !!!

The chinese turned suddenly.

FATAL ERROR !!!

[SHAM POO, BACK FURIOUS] GO TO HEEEEEEEEEEEEL !!

[RANMA-GIRL, SO MUCH WORRIED, SCREAMING] RUNAWAY SHAM POO, RUNAWAYYYYYY !!
[LAMU', LOST IN PANIC, SCREAMING TOO] WATCH OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT !!!
[ATARU, SAME SITUATION] RUN SHAM POO, RUUUUUUUUUUN !!!
[AKANE, SAME SITUATION] GET OUT OF THEEEEEEEEEEEERE !!!

Sham Poo was not expecting at all this kind of reaction.

So she turned a bit her head...

... AND ....

[SHAM POO, LOST IN PANIC, SCREAMING] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !!






She had not noticed that was crossing a too busy road....

.... AND THAT A HEAVY TRUCK WAS ABOUT TO INVEST HER !!!




SEEMED THAT NOTHING COULD SAVE HER !!!



UNLESS......





[XY, SCREAMING DESPERATELY] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOO !!!!


CRUNCH !!!




On hearing that terrible noise of bones crushed everyone closed their eyes...

... and when they re-opened them...

... SAW THAT THE CHINESE WAS ALIVE AND KICKING !!

Lamù flew immediately to reach her sister and landed next to her.

[Lamù, so worried] Sham Poo, are you all right ?!?
[Sham Poo, rising from the ground, so confused] W... well, I'm fine ! But I don't undeLsteand what the hell happened !!
[AKANE, SCREAMING LOST IN PANIC] OH MY GOD, LOOK AT MOUSSE !!!


Everbody turned the head...

... AND ...


SHOCK !!!!


MOUSSE WAS LYING ON THE GROUND, TERRIBLY WOUNDED !!!

Everyone (even the crowd began to rush) It took a few moments to see what had happened: seeing Sham Poo fallen into danger the boy run to save her and must have done just in time to give her a push, or as much as enough to keep her safe ...

... TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF ON HER PLACE !!!

Mousse was now lying on the ground belly up.

It was literally transfigured, so strong was the impact with the truck: moaning, coughing and spitting blood all the time but, fortunately, could still move her arms and legs ...

... AND WAS STARTCHING (DESPERATELY) AN HAND VERSUS SHAM POO !!

So, in a faint voice ....

[Mousse, among a lots of coughs, groaning desperately] Sh.. [cough, couhg] Sham Poo.... [cough]...
[Sham Poo, so scared, with trembling voice] N... Nan-da ?!?

[Mousse, same situation] K... KISS ME !!! [cough, cough....... ggggh...ptuah ....] K.... KISS ME BEFORE I DIE !!!! [cough cough] I... I DON'T WANNA [ggggh... ptuah... ptuah.... cough, couhg] I DON'T WANNA GO TO HELL [cough] BEFORE I EVER KISS YOU [gggh... ] AT LEAST ONCE !!!

[Sham Poo, lost in panic] N.......n..... NO !!!!

Hearing that, the alien angrily grabbed his sister by the collar of her dress and shut the chinese nervously.

[LAMU', FURIOUS] YOU DAMNED !!! THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THAT HE SAVES YOUR LIFE AND NEITHER NOW WANNA THANK HIM ?!?
[Sham Poo, still lost in panic] S.. Sissy b... but don't see what's his state ?!?
[LAMU', STILL FURIOUS] YOU HAD THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE !!! NOW KISS HIM !!! HE DESERVE IT !!!


[SHAM POO, SCREAMING NERVOUSLY] I SAID <<NO>> !!!!

[Mousse, same situation] Sham Poo, neither on my deathbed you don't wanna kiss me ?!?
L.... LORD, I.... I DIE IN DESPAIR !!!!


WAS IN THAT MOMENT THAT HE BEGAN TO RADIATE A BLINDING LIGHT FROM HIS BODY !!!

[Ataru, lost in panic] W.. WHAT IT MEANS THIS ?!?
[Lamù, lost in panic too] IT MEANS THAT WE'RE GONA DIE SOON EVERYBODY !!!!
[Akane, lost in panic too] T... TO DIE ?!? IN WHICH WAY ?!?
[Ranma-girl, with worried voice] Mousse took away from Ryoga the secret who allows to transform the depression in destructive energy but, having read only the surface of it, has never been able to control his new "power."

The trouble is that IF HE DOESN'T STOP AT THE TIME WILL LOSE THE CONTROL OF THIS ENERGY AND WILL RISE AN 'HELL ABLE TO SINK DOWN TO THE SEA IN THE ENTIRE JAPAN IN ONE NIGHT, LIKE ATLANTIS !!!

[Akane, lost in panic] NO ! NO ! I DON'T WANNA DIE !! I DON'T WANNA DIEEEEEEEE !!!
[Ataru, lost in panic too] WHAT WE CAN DO TO AVOID ALL OF THIS ?!?
[Ranma-girl, same voice] There's only one escape [now turned in front of the chinese] SHAM POO, KISS HIM !!! IN THIS WAY HE'LL BE SO HAPPY THAT WILL LOSE FOREVER THAT POWER !

[SHAM POO, SCREAMING NERVOUSLY] I SAID "NOOOOO" !!!!

Hearing those words, Ranma-girl step (so furiously) in front of the chinese

[RANMA-GIRL, FURIOUS] SHAM POO, REALLY YOU'LL COMNEN MILLIONS OF PEOPLE TO DIE ON A WHIM ??!

[Sham Poo, with clear voice] SISSY, SUMMON YOUl UFO !!!
[Lamù, so confused] N.. nan-da+tcha ?!? There can get in more than one or two dozen people at max.
[Sham Poo, same voice] Oh, well: it's enough to save you, daLling, me and my beloved husband [and grabbed Ranma girl by an arm] THE lEST CAN DISAPPEAl !!!



SLAP !!!!!!


[Sham Poo, holding her cheek, so shocked] S... Sissy, w.. why you hit me ?!?

[LAMU', FURIOUS] YOU'RE NO MORE MY SISTER !!!

[Sham Poo, same voice] S.. SoLLy ?!?
[LAMU', SAME VOICE] I'll never be your accomplice in the genocide you are going to make; you must know that, even if I could save me, I will not! I decided to die together with all the others, but remember that, hereafter, [NOW SCREAMING] I'LL BE YOUR FIERCEST ACCUSER !!!

HEARING THOSE WORDS, SHAM POO HAD SCARY VISION !!!

She was standing, naked and helpless, in front of Minos who, with loud voice, asked: "WHAT CRIMES HAVE YOU COMMITTED?" and, from the depths of the sea, a great multitude of creatures covered with mud stood fearfully shouting "SHE KILLED ME"!


... AND THE INFERNAL JUDGE, WRAPPING HER WITH HIS TERRIBLE TAIL, MADE IT CLEAR THAT WAS ABOUT TO HURL HER INTO THE DEEPEST AND WORST OF HELLS !!!
.........
........
......
....
...
..

[Sham Poo, rather crying] All Light.

A great sigh....

... AND ....

[SHAM POO] OK MOUSSE, I'LL KISS YOU !!!


[MOUSSE, SHOCKED] REALLY ?!?

THE LIGHT THAT WAS SHINING FROM HIS BODY DISAPPEARED INSTANTLY...

... meanwhile ...

... with the same enthusiasm of a condemned man who climbs the steps that lead to the gallows, Sham Poo approached Mousse...

... took his face gently on her hands ...

... AND ....


... [ehm] ...

[Sham Poo, back nervous] HOW CAN I KISS HIM WITH ALL THESE NUISANCES AlOUND ?!?   

Hearing those words, Ranma-Girl, Akane, Lamù and Ataru turned for a second ...

.. BUT THE SECOND AFTER THEY COME BACK AROUND THE <<COUPLE>>...

... AND ...

[Sham Poo, with gentle voice] Mousse....
[Mousse, with dreamy voice] Nan-da ?!?
[Sham Poo, same voice] IF YOU WANNA KISS ME YOU MUST CLOSE YOUl EYES !!!

HE DID IT IMMEDIATELY.....

They were so close...
... more close...
... SO MUCH CLOSE....


..... AND .....

..........
.........
.......
......


SHOCK !!!











Days later, in the Tomobiki's hospital ....

Now they were already a couple of days that patients, nurses and doctors, with the most outrageous excuses and lies, were in wait in the hallway to see an usual scene: they didn't care about the boy who was seated in a wheelchair, rather the focus' attention was for the girl who pushed him ....

... BECAUSE SHE WORE JUST AN ULTRA-SHORT SKIRT, AN IRON BRA, A CHAIN AND A PAIR OF BOOTS...

... AND, MOST OF ALL, WAS REALLY A WONDERFUL GIRL !!!

Heedless of all, Benten led Kaneda into the room where was his new partner of rehabilitation.

[Kaneda, with clear voice] Hello Mousse, how are you today ?!?
[MOUSSE, SO JOYFUL] I'M FINE !!!!

[Benten, so confused] I really do not understand: it is wrapped like a mummy, has all the limbs in tension, the bones remained healthy counted on the fingers of one hand and he says "I'm fine"?!?
[Kaneda, with HOT voice] It's because we share the same luck: WE'VE BOTH A WONDERFUL NURSE THAT IS CARING US !!!

Kaneda was right.

IN FACT...

.... SIT BESIDE THE BED, SHAM POO WAS FEEDING AND CARING MOUSSE !!!

The chinese was wearing a stretch short dress (SO MUCH HOT !!!): her legs were discovered and her chest was made "well in emphasis" from the suit; just this "vision" was able to rise the..... [A-HEM !!!!!!!!!!!!!] <<MORAL[/i]>> of anybody !!!

Next to him, two "old friends" were talking each other

[Ryoga, with closed eyes and a wonderful smile]  Congratulations Ranma: now he is so happy that it will never be able to use the technique of Shinsho-Hoko-Dan once more !
[Ranma, with clear voice] We did our best: as you can see, our efforts were rewarded


[Ryoga, now whispering nervously to Ranma's ear] NATURALLY YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM THE TRUTH !!!
[Ranma, whispering nervously too] I'M NOT SO STUPID !!!

Suddenly Sham Poo rose from the bed.

[Sham Poo, now up, with clear voice] See you soon Mousse, now I must go.
[Mousse, with HOT voice] Sham Poo, be treated by you makes me happy....


... but...

... please, say me the truth.....

.... IS NOT THAT YOU'RE FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME ?!?


A light giggle.

[Sham Poo, WITH A WONDERFUL SMILE and clear voice] BYE BYE !!!

.... and walked away from the door, careless.

IT WAS AN ERROR !!!!

IN FACT....


[A COLD FEMALE VOICE] SHAM_POO !!

HEARING THAT VOICE, THE CHINESE HELD HERSELF LOST IN PANIC...


.... turned slowly ....

.... AND .....

[LAMU', FURIOUS, talking slowly, with wrath] SHAM_POO, <<MY_LITTLE_ANGEL>>.....

Lamù was standing in fly, with crossed arms AND A TERRIBLE EXPRESSION ON HER SIGHT !

SEEING HER SISTER FURIOUS IN THAT WAY THE CHINESE HAD AN HEART ATTACK !!

[Sham Poo, with trembling voice] C... calm, Sissy, calm..... th.. theLe is a Leason because.... [increasing the voice] S... Sissy, why you look at me in that way ?!? [now rather screaming, so worried] SISSY, YOU SCAlE ME [NOW SCREAMING] S... SISSY, W... WHAT DO YOU WANNA MAKE ME ?!? [NOW LOST IN PANIC] SISSY NO !!! NO !!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEELP !!!!!



Later, into Lamù's bedroom.....

[Sham Poo, panting loudly] Sissy, I'm tiLed !!!
[LAMU', SCREAMING FURIOUSLY] I DON'T CARE !!! YOU DON'T GO AWAY FROM HERE UNTIL YOU DON'T MAKE HIM COME BACK TO NORMAL !!!!

The alien was her <<good reasons>> to be angry....

... IN FACT...

... ATARU WAS LYING ON THE BED (with a silly expression on his face), UNCONSCIOUS AND CATATONIC !!!!

[Sham Poo, with weak voice] A... and I got to do that?
[LAMU', STILL FURIOUS] IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT IF NOW HE'S LIKE THAT !!!!



Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmh.......



FLASHBACK !!!


[Sham Poo, with gentle voice] Mousse....
[Mousse, with dreamy voice] Nan-da ?!?
[Sham Poo, same voice] IF YOU WANNA KISS ME YOU MUST CLOSE YOUl EYES !!!

HE DID IT IMMEDIATELY.....

They were so close...
... more close...
... SO MUCH CLOSE....

.....
....
...

... A FAST MOVE...


..... AND .....

SHOCK !!!


She took the head of the first one that was able to grab and forced him, by surprise, to kiss Mousse in her place !

WAS IN THAT WAY THAT MOUSSE RECEIVED HIS FIRST KISS OF LIFE  BY ATARU !!!


Back to present...

[Lamù, still angry] You have done the damage, you'll find the remedy !!
[Sham Poo, now with strange, <<sweet>> voice] Don't woLLy, Sissy: I got an idea about to heal him immediately.
[Lamù, blinking her large eyes] Really ?!?

[SHAM POO, WITH <<SWEET>> VOICE] I'LL KISS HIM !!!
[Lamù, with nervous sight and voice] No way !!!
[Sham Poo, same voice] Oh, Sissy, let me kiss daLling: I'M SUlE THAT HE'LL HEAL  VElY SOON !!

[LAMU', GETTING FURIOUS] Sham Poo, first of all LEAVE TO CALL HIM "DARLING" !!! Second: if you didn't wanted to kiss Mousse WHY YOU WANNA DO WITH DARLING ?!?

[Sham Poo, now with strange voice] WITH DAlLING IS DIFFElENT !!!
[LAMU', NOW FURIOUS] WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ?!? WHY "IS DIFFERENT" ?!?
[Sham Poo, now nervous] You'Le boLing !
[LAMU', STILL FURIOUS] YOU'RE A PERVERTED !!
[SHAM POO, NOW FURIOUS TOO] YOU STUPID !!
[LAMU', STILL FURIOUS] YOU MORON !!
[SHAM POO, NOW FURIOUS TOO] YOU FOOL !!
[LAMU', STILL FURIOUS] YOU IDIOT !!
[SHAM POO, NOW FURIOUS TOO] EEEK !!
[LAMU', STILL FURIOUS] EEEEEEEEEEK !!


....

If you're going kiss someone you'd better to open a bit your eyes !!!