Topic: Ataru Best Day Ever

[plaguewarrior]

Ataru’s Best Day Ever

Urusei Yatsura

Ataru's Best Day Every

            This universe is pretty much like the one in the TV series by Takahashi.  There are some references to the manga in here.  Maybe some minor changes here or there, but nothing major except maybe the part about Oyuki and some weird alien technology.  I don’t know if it’s true, but I did it for the story.  And now, on with the show.

   Bring! Bring!  A hand clumsily moves up and pushes the off switch for the alarm clock.  The ringing, however, continues.  The ever notorious Ataru Moroboshi stretches his arms while yawning as he gets up from bed.  “Darling!”  Lum calls sheepishly from the closet.  “Answer the phone.”
   “Yeah, yeah.  I’m on it woman.”  Ataru answers with an angry tone.  “Hello.”  He stands listening for a second until he recognizes the voice.  “Cherry!” he screams, “Why the hell are you calling me so early?”
   “Aw, my boy I just wanted to tell you…”  Ataru slams the phone down without letting Cherry finish. 
He scratches his head and stomach like a monkey while mumbling, “Darn Cherry, waking me up this early for who knows what.”  He walks down stairs towards the living room when Ataru’s mother pops out of the kitchen. 
“Ataru, there’s a letter for you sitting on the table.  It doesn’t have a return address on it.”  Ataru plops down on the floor and opens the letter.  The letter reads as follows.
   Dear Ataru,
I had a feeling you wouldn’t let me finish with what I wanted to say on the phone, so I sent this letter here ahead of time.  I read the alignment of the stars last night and it seems to be in your favor.  Therefore, I predict that today will be your luckiest day ever.
   Love, Cherry
PS. For having told you this news, is it possible for me to come over for dinner?
Ataru crumbles the note and throws it in the trash.  “Stupid Cherry,” Ataru grumbles.  He picks up the remote and turns on the TV.  A news reporter is sitting at the news desk reading a report. 
   “On a more positive note, Halley’s comet passed by the earth last night and will not be seen again for another seventy five years.  Here are some people commenting about the comet.”
   WHAAMMM!  Ataru jumps up and dashes to the hallway to see what made the loud noise.  Lum is laying down rubbing her bum as a few tears stream from her eyes.  “Ow, ow,” she says.
   Ataru bends down to look at his fiancé.  “What happened to you?”
   Lum looks up at Ataru.  “I don’t know,” she then looks toward the stairs, “I jumped off the banister to fly down the stairs and instead, I fell.” 
Ten walks out of Ataru’s room and proclaims, “Lum, I can’t fly!” 
She looks at Ten.  “Me neither, Ten.  What’s happened to us?”
   Ataru shrugs and begins to walk away.  “Maybe, you’ve got some kind of alien fever or somethin’.”  The three people sit down at the table as Ataru’s dad reads the paper.  Lum glances at the paper and then screams.
   “Ahhhhhh!  Is that the dreaded Halley’s comet!” 
   Wiping liquid from his mouth, from where he spewed water from the surprise Ataru says, “Damn it, don’t do that!”
   Ataru’s dad looks at Lum.  “Yes, it is, so what.”
   Lum says in a panic, “We Oni, lose our powers for a whole day from the cosmic rays that the comet sends out.”
   Ataru gets that devilish look on his face whenever an opportunity has presented itself.  “Let me get this straight.  Because of this comet, you’ve lost your powers for the whole day.”
   “Yes,” says Lum.
“No Zaks,” asks Ataru.
“None,” replies Ten.
“No breathing fire.”
The two aliens say at the same time, “Nothing!”  A grin from ear to ear is placed upon the young man’s face.  Ataru then picks up Ten.  Ten begins to yell. 
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“Something I’ve wanted to do ever since you got here.”  Ataru takes Ten outside and kicks over a trashcan.  Ataru walks a little ways away from the can, but faces the mouth.  He then holds Ten like a bowling ball.  Ataru then begins talking to himself.  “He’s got one throw left.  He needs all the pins to win.  Can he do it.”  He then tosses Ten and watches as the alien ball hurls into the trashcan spinning around the inside.  Ataru jumps up, “He’s won the championship.”  Lum runs outside to get Ten out of the trash.  Jariten’s eyes are twirling around and around. 
“Darling, that was mean.  Wait!  Where are you going?”
Ataru is running down the block.  “Where do you think, now that you can’t shock me?  I’m going girl hunting!”
“You better not!”  Lum begins to run after Ataru.  But before Ataru can get anywhere he falls into a hole that disappears after swallowing him.  He screams as he continues to fall until he hits a pool of water that knocks him unconscious.  Something soft on his lips causes Ataru to open his eyes.  He then notices that Oyuki is kissing him.  She then lifts back up and a smile appears. 
“Oh, you’re finally awake.  I had to give you mouth to mouth as you weren’t breathing.”  Ataru points to his throat.
“I think there is still some blockage.  You may need to give me a few more rounds of CPR.”  Oyuki slaps him in the face while laughing.
“Mr. Moroboshi, you are a riot.”  Then a more serious look appears on her face.  “I’m afraid we need to help Benten.”
“Benten?”  Ataru turns over to see Benten turning blue and shivering.
Oyuki stares at her friend.  “Yes, I’m afraid that your little entrance caused Benten to fall off her speeder and into the cold springs.”
“You mean hot springs.”
“No, we people of Neptune have cold springs instead of hot springs.  Unfortunately Benten's not used to the cold and my people will still need thirty minutes to get here.  Benten needs some body heat to keep her warm and since I have no core temperature, you’ll have to do.”
Ataru gets that lusty look in his eye and drool around his mouth.  “Of course, I’ll do what I can to help.  Heh heh.” 
Shivering, Benten says, “I’d… rather… die… than to be warmed… by him.”
   Ataru begins to take off his clothes, until Oyuki stops him.  “No, there’s no time for that just hold her.”  (Couldn’t let him have too much fun) Ataru wraps himself around Benten.  He begins to rub her check against his. 
   “I’ve dreamt of this moment.”
   “I’ll… kill… you.”
   Later Benten is on a hovering ambulance being taken away.  Ataru is trying to claw through the paramedics.  “I’m telling you, she still needs my body heat.”
   One of the paramedics proclaims, “Sir, we have a machine in there that can warm her up to almost a thousand degrees.”
   “That’s no substitute for the heat… of passion,” replies Ataru.
   After the ambulance has left Oyuki is walking with Ataru.  “Thank you for your help.  I’ll tell Lum of your heroism.”
   Ataru gulps from fear.  He then turns to Oyuki, grabbing her shoulder.  With a serious look he says, “A hero does not need any recognition.”
   “Well, at least let me send you home.”  Oyuki pulls out a knife that she uses to cut a hole into Ataru’s dimension.  Ataru grabs her hand.
   “You can’t deny there’s a spark between us.  It was all the more notable when you kissed me so, I’ve decided that I should stay with you forever,” says Ataru.
   Oyuki laughs and accidently knocks Ataru into the hole.  She looks into the hole and yells to Ataru.  “Be careful, I’m not sure where you’ll end up.”  Oyuki takes her head out of the hole.  “Darn, I was going to let him stay.”  She then touches her lips and blushes.
   Ataru continues to scream as he falls down through the whole.  Then for a moment he says, “I wonder where I’ll end up,” then continues screaming.
   Sakura locks her door and pulls down the shades to both the door and the window.  She then takes a chair and props it against the door to make sure no one can get in accidently.  She had promised her fiancé that she would meet him for lunch today, but didn’t want to wear her work clothes.  The little number she planned to wear, however, required her not to wear a bra.  Just to make sure that none of the perverts at the school, especially Moroboshi, saw her, she locked down the entire room.  She began to remove her clothing down to her bra.  She took one last look and unclipped the top.  She threw the bra on her desk.
   Ataru looked down to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  He goes through the hole and lands face first in the floor.  He looks up to see a topless Sakura.  A grin appears on his face that won’t stop, while Sakura is reeling with anger. 
   The entire class of 2-4 are outside playing baseball.  Shinobu tosses a ball that Lum smacks into the air with a baseball bat.  The ball flies towards Sakura’s window.  “Uh oh,” says Megane, “Sakura is going to be super pissed.”  The ball approaches toward the window when it bursts from an impact from the inside.  Ataru hurtles through the air until he hits face first into the dirt. 
   “Darling!”  Lum yells as she goes to check her fiancé.  She holds him in her arms as he mumbles something.  “What, what did you say?”  The others rush over to see what happened.
   “So… beautiful.”
   “What is, Ataru,” asks Chibi.
   Then a voice comes from Sakura’s window.  “Moroboshi!”  The class looks up to see Sakura covering herself chest with only a clipboard.  “I’ll never forgive you for seeing me topless!!!”
   All the male students shove the females out of the way.  They all look upon Ataru like a deity.  Kakugari asks Ataru.  “What was it like?”
   “Imagine,” Ataru says, “tasting the most delicious beef-bowl in the world… and multiply it by a thousand.”
Shutaro shoves Kakugari out of the way and looks upon Ataru most sincerely, “My dearest friend, describe her every detail.”
Shinobu smacks Shutaro in the head with a baseball bat.  “You don’t need to know,” she says while dragging Shutaro away. 
The men continue to ask questions until they hear Lum with an angry tone.  “ENOUGH!”  The men look behind to see Lum with a look of the devil on her face and her horns twice their size.  “I may not be able to give you any shock therapy,” she then begins an evil laugh. “But, I can still beat you to death with my trusty hammer!”  She reaches inside her shirt, but finds nothing.  “Huh.  Where did it go?” 
Meanwhile, back at the house of the Moroboshi’s, Ten is in Ataru’s room.  He looks up and sees something in the corner.  “Hey, Lum forgot her hammer today.”   
Ataru dashes away while the male students of the class console Lum as she cries.  Ataru looks down at his watch, “All right.  I made it back just in time for lunch.  Think I’ll have ramen today.”  As he passes through the gate he sees Cherry. 
“Ah, Ataru, my boy, I’ve come to tell you…”
Ataru picks the monk off the ground and hugs him.  “Don’t say anything you beautiful, bald, priest you.  You were right; this is my luckiest day ever.”
“But there’s something else…”
Ataru covers Cherry’s mouth with his hand.  “Don’t say anything to spoil the moment to make me hate you again.  Now, I’m off.”     
   As Ataru runs down the street he hears someone call his name.  He looks around to see Ryuunosuke wearing a dress.  His jaw drops from her beauty.  Ataru runs up to her, “Ryuu, what happened.”  Still acting like her old self she says, “My old man said that if I could knock him out cold, that I could wear a dress for one day.  And you can guess the result.”  She turns around and Ataru begins to drool.  “And… uh… I was wondering.  I wanted to go out with someone today, but I don’t know which guys are sleezeballs and since I know you already are one…”
   Ataru twirls her for her to look in his face.  “Say no more, my love.  I shall eat lunch with you, go to the movies, and then will see where the night takes us.”  In a spilt second, Ataru lies facedown on the ground with a huge lump on his head.     
   “Don’t get to excited now alright” replies Ryuunosuke with a balled up fist.
   Lum storms around town with smoke coming out of her mouth looking for Ataru.  She cuts through the streets like parting a sea.  She then spots her darling in a beef-bowl shop.  “There you are!”  She steams as she starts to head inside.  Just then however, something comes barreling down from the sky.  A giant tiger like creature grabs her and whispers into her ear, “Will you cook for me for the rest of your life?” 
   Lum begins to smack the beast, “Get away from me, Rei!”
   “What’s with all that commotion outside?” asks Ryuunosuke.
   Ataru puts his hand on top of hers and says in the most sincere voice, “Does it matter!” 
   “Well, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I actually had a great time.”
   “There’s one last thing…”
   “Yeah,” says Ryuu.
   “You have to give me a kiss goodbye.”  Ataru leans over with his lips puckered like a fish.  Ryuu closes her eyes and begins to lean in.  Oh my gosh, Ataru thinks to himself.  I can’t believe she fell for that.  This is my chance!  Ataru becomes really giddy and begins to lean in closer when he spots something out the window.  Ran!  He then leans back.  I’ve always wanted to date Ran and with my incredible luck today, I just might get the chance too.  Ataru leaps up from his chair, “Sorry, bathroom.  Be right back!”  Ataru races through the front door.  “RAAANNNNN!”  He yells holding his arms open wide.  Ran turns around with a smile on her face. 
“Oh, Darling.”
Just then Ataru trips and grabs onto Ran’s skirt.  Ataru doesn’t even pay attention when the skirt reaches her ankles as he is to preoccupied by where they were previously.  Ataru stares at Ran’s underwear like it was a majestic scene of nature.  Ran runs away screaming while Ataru closes his eyes, “This will be a day… long remembered.”
Ataru takes off his shoes inside his house.  “Whew!  What a day!  Can’t wait to see what’s in store for tomorrow.” 
Ataru’s mother pops out from the living room.  “Aren’t you coming to dinner?”     
   “No thanks, ate already.  Is Lum home?”
   “No, I haven’t seen her since you left.”
   Ataru shrugs his shoulders.  “Must be sleeping in her UFO.”  Ataru walks up to his room to find Ten gone as well.  “Finally… alone.”  Ataru then falls soundly asleep.   
   The Next Morning
   “AAAHHHH!”  Ataru wakes up with flames frying his body.  Ten continues his assault.
   “I heard what you did to my Sakura!  And this is payback for me!”  More flames emit to where Ataru jumps out of his window onto the lawn. 
   “I’ve got to get away from this monster,” says Ataru.
   Just then Ryuunosuke gives him a flying kick to the face.  “I waited an hour for you!  I even had to pay the bill.  So take this!!!”  Ryuu punches him into a nearby fence.  Ataru slowly gets up, but then a rocket blasts him into the street. 
On a nearby rooftop Ran smiles evilly, “You just had to expose my underwear to everybody didn’t you, you little...” 
Ataru looks up to see Benten coming down on her flying vehicle with missiles launching from the sides.  “Here’s your payment for helping me and I brought an old friend along who’s dying to see you.  Oh, be-boy.”  Ataru hears the yeti yell in the background. 
Ataru begins to scream like a little girl as he runs inside his house and locks the door.  He wipes the sweat off his forehead. 
“Ataru!  Breakfast is ready.”
Finally, Ataru thinks, some good news.  He walks into the kitchen and stops dead cold.
“And guess who finally got back home,” his mom says cheerfully.
A pissed off Lum stands up.  Her voice gritty with anger, “Do you know… how hard it was to get away from him.”
“WWho?” asks Ataru.
Lum’s fist breaks the table.  “Don’t interrupt!  Did you bother to even look for me.  Did the thought even cross your mind.”  Ataru begins to slowly back away, but Lum follows in the air.
“I see you can fly now”  Ataru says nervously. 
“Oh yes,” Lum says sarcastically, “along with my others.”  Sparks fly from her body that breaks mirrors and vases.
“Oh my… I think I might actually die this time.”
With her fangs protruding from her evil grin Lum says, “Yesterday, you had your fun.  Now it’s time to have mine.”
From the outside, the house lights up like the Fourth of July and sounds like something from a house of horrors. 
Cherry passes by the house and then remembers.  “I never did get to tell him the rest of the fortune.  That after your lucky day… the rest of your life will be worse than it was before.”  Cherry shrugs his shoulders.  “Oh, well” and continues to walk.
       








   

[plaguewarrior]

Reviews would be appreicated.

[janus]

I though it was going very ecchi over there lol, Ataru can die happily as long as he can have his harem
thanks for sharing this with us
I would of recommend for you to use images that fit and links using bgm from music box to create a mood. its just me saying this, so don't worry

[theclaw]

You've got the humor down much better than I do.

[Kroptik]

I liked it, you really kept to the story and the anime in general, it's almost like a new episode. :D

I though it was going very ecchi over there lol, Ataru can die happily as long as he can have his harem
thanks for sharing this with us
I would of recommend for you to use images that fit and links using bgm from music box to create a mood. its just me saying this, so don't worry

I don't agree with the last part, I like to read stories and imagine stuff like that for myself, if I need to.

[janus]

like I said it was me saying that a selfish request, but that much proves how lacking I am in the imagination department  :laugh:

[GiovaneDinamitardo]

Congratulations, your way of writing is very fluid and your English is not at all bitter! 

[plaguewarrior]

I appreciate the reviews from all of you.  I wanted you guys and gals to know that I have another story up called Urusei Yatsura: Final Fantasy style.  So go over and check it out.  Till then readers.