The World of Urusei Yatsura's Lum
Miscellaneous => General Discussion => Topic started by: Forgotten_Lum on December 03, 2007, 03:36:11 PM
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i was just doing a bit of surfing when i found this funny joke, plus it can be s related to Ataru and Lum in so many ways
Why do men die first
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries..But, now we know.
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.
If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you ... it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks ... it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet ... it's male indifference.
If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't ... you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you ... she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination.
If SHE asks you ... it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert.
If you don't ... you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist.
If you don't ... you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape ... you're vain.
If you don't ... you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers ... you're after something.
If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself.
If you don't ... you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache ... she's tired.
If you have a headache ... you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often ... you're oversexed.
If you don't ... there must be someone else.
Bottom Line: Men die first because they want to.
personally in my family the women die first and of natural causes(for those of you that want to make accusations) dont know why i just happens
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Interesting and true facts,forgotten,loved the last 10
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now compare that to Lum and Ataru's relationship
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Now I know, why most of my lifes I died first.
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Funny joke. Lol.
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Not really?
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That is so true :P this is only a one-way street for guys, we always have the guilt of something even if we weren't involved in the situation ;D
Thanks _/-\o_
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And that's also why women live longer. They always have something to complain about men. xD
That reminds me of something I found about girls not giving value to nice guys.
Here it is while we're at it. :P
Of course it doens't apply to every woman, but read on and make your conclusions.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that i like you
I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk
I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants
I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised
I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"
I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk
I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things
I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.
I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date
I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up,and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy
I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care
But most of all
I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore
I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am
I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.
I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...
I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
I'm Sorry
That I cared
I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
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kroptik, thats a perfect post, congratulations :)
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Beatiful post,kroptik,it made me reflect the twists modern society has taken and yet there are still nice men and women
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congratulations.
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I bet there are girls in that situation, too. You've won the poetry competition between me and Dark. _/-\o_
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true :'( I'm so happy :'(.
Edit: Lie.
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Women, time stealers :)
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OK, let me say this again: I FOUND this somewhere on the internet, more precisely, on this website (http://www.quizilla.com).
It is not my work, so don't congratulate me for it. I'm just the messenger. :P
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Ohh,well,then thanks for sharing,kroptik
Women, time stealers :)
why do ya say that,nebbo-shiro?
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You need to think outside the box.
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Women, time stealers :)
Men are time stealers, too! Let's not start a sex war please. I'm not in a good position because I'm only one!
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Ok, who will fight for the men's side?
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All those who consider themselves as male persons.
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darkdevils out(he isn't human so he doesn't count) and i think you can take all of on cata
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Let's not start a sex war please. I'm not in a good position because I'm only one!
Fear not,cata,there wont be a sex war onda forum as long as i live
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Women, time stealers :)
why do ya say that,nebbo-shiro?
That was a joke, as in if all the things listed in this thread are true, why waste
time on women. Since the thread is about sexist jokes I thought it would be
obvious :)
Men are time stealers, too!
You are of course entitled to your opinion :)
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Women, time stealers :)
why do ya say that,nebbo-shiro?
That was a joke, as in if all the things listed in this thread are true, why waste
time on women. Since the thread is about sexist jokes I thought it would be
obvious :)
No, it's not a sexist joke. In some cases it's true.
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Hmm... I don't even know if I agree or disagree with you. xD
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No, it's not a sexist joke. In some cases it's true.
The truth is funny sometimes after you've gone through it at least once;
then again.... I don't get your point :-\ so I'm with cata
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Yay! Janus is fighting by me side (he's fighting for the "Girl Power"! Just joking, Janus. ;)
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cata, alumxander have a crush on you, so, he will find too. :P
i'll just keep watching both sides. this isn't one worthy fight. :P
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I'm still trying to find out what the fight is about before I join in. xD
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It's a sex war between Dark Devil and Cata because of Dark Devil sexist jokes.
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No It's not a sexist joke, most women it's true.
And I'm not going to throw a war agaisnt Miss Cata.
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But it seems.
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Well I'm not joining a sex war ever. Being a guy has it's ups and downs as well as being a girl has them (I guess).
Besides, a sex war lasts forever and it's just plain stupid. :-\
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But it's funny to watch a sex war sometimes.
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But Its not funny being in the crossfire :'(
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Of course, if your not in the crossfire you can sit down, eat some popcorns and enjoy the show but if your in your ass will be kicked.
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Wow... A sex war is different of any other kind of war. A sex war doesn't include violence.
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Wow... A sex war is different of any other kind of war. A sex war doesn't include violence.
A sex war doesnt need to violent per se,it could be more like a friendly contest of brains and brawn
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Wow... A sex war is different of any other kind of war. A sex war doesn't include violence.
A sex war doesnt need to violent per se,it could be more like a friendly contest of brains and brawn
Finnally someone who understood me.
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The problem with sex wars is the lack of evidences from one side about the other and the other way around (guys can't tell what girls feel/think/etc, and girls can't do it for guys), so it's pretty hard to have a decent polite "sex war".
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True.
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Girls: "Guys can only think with their head.".
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Girls: "Guys can only think with their head.".
And your definition of head mean what?
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Guy's lower head.
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That's a low blow.
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For you, yes.
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Let's end this!
Fem_Vs._Male (http://www.bozzetto.com/flash/fem_male.htm)
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LOL. I love that clip. xD
Expecially the ideal partner bit.
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ROTFL,very funny and educative video
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Well it's very stereotypical XD but for the most part its mostly true for me
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Very funny video but there are some things that are too old for nowadays, if you know what I meant.