kyo:
first story ever. Posted on: February 11, 2008, 01:35:57 AM I don t� own urusei yatsura )
� I REALLY DO MEAN IT�
BY KYO MOROBOSHI/ Kevin (my real name)
�This is it� said ataru looking at a single box. For two years he was brother by a young girl � named lum . for two years she zapped him and sometimes beat him because
she think she is his wife. As far as ataru know he want to be her husband. More
then once he wanted to say � to hell with it� and wanted to go to lum planet
and lived there with her. But he don�t� know how to say I love you. so what do he do ?
he put up a front , to everyone else he was skirt chasing ataru. a Mega-hentai freak.
No. he was practicing so when that day arrives when he was alone with her. he could pop The question so they can leave without any crap from his parents ,shinobu, Or lum stormtroopers . so he spend six months to learn oni so he can speak to lum in her native tongue . he also brought wedding rings that he kept in a tiny black box . but today he gonna use them . he ask his mother and father for a dinner bash saying � they wont� regret it �. he invited everyone in his school to come. Everyone was shock to see ataru Less girl-loving . only one he paid attention to was lum, talking to her, joking with her, he even tried to kiss her . to lum bodyguards that was one big NO-NO and began they attack on ataru who pointed a finger to them saying they could leave so they all sat down.
After the failed attack mendo than ask: moroboshi ! why did you invite us here ?And why didn�t� you tried to get a feel for any of the girls ? said the rest .
Because:
1) it about lum
2) because I didn�t� feel like it
3) It time to make our lives Right.
Lum, he said do you known what I am about to ask you ? said ataru she shook her head no . will you marry me ?( In oni) Yes darling ! she scream.WHAT ? scream ten. what did he said to lum ten ? said mendo he said would you marry me ? Mendo almost had a heart attack
(that the end of the first chapter sorry it was short ,so how do you like ? )
That how I began The story straight to the point. really when I think back To it... It was not good I should have Tease the reader Or I could Have them go To a Park or something. I had To work on mendo and shinobu expressions next chapter is gonna be better... for my sake
from kevin with love. :/
DarkDevil:
I think you don't have much expertations for this.
kyo:
Thank you... I'll do my best... :@
FallinG_StaR:
Well Kyo... I can only give you this advice... here goes... My advice is... Just ignore DarkDevil we all do... mostly when he's in a bad mood... (that I think its everyday)
As for your fanfic... Its good... a bit hard to understand... but I guess you aren't used to write in english... For the continuation of the story you could go back in time... like 1 month or something... and show us how he got to that point of asking the "Big Question"... to Lum... Or just continue with your script... LoL Anyway I'll be waiting for next chapter...
DarkDevil:
Who the hell is changing my posts!? I've said:
--- Quote ---I think you don't have much expertations for this. --- End quote ---